I should know better

by Robert Nagle on 2/9/2010

in observations

Every time I watch a British historical costume drama, I tell myself that surely there has to be at least one example from  the genre which  is not a dreadful bore.

Nope.

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And now this …. (what!?!)

by Robert Nagle on 2/9/2010

in Offbeat/Humor, observations

I just watched a Superbowl commercial on hulu which was introduced by a TV commercial for Coca Cola.  That’s what it has come down to boys:  even the TV commercials now have TV commercials.

This blog post is about a blogpost about itself.

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While checking my referrer logs, I see that a CC photo I snapped of a family Thanksgiving is used ironically on a post about murdering family members.  I generally don’t care who uses my photos although probably it would be taking things too far to use images of children inappropriately (see this case). But as long as you don’t identify the people in the photo and the individuals can’t google it, where is the harm? (Well, it’s true you are supposed to get a model’s release as well, but for informal publishing that rarely matters).

There is a whole genre of making fake nudes and fake porn from celebrity photos. Often, the attempt to force someone to remove your image is more trouble than it’s worth (it might even backfire); ignoring it is usually the best strategy.

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I can’t speak for others, but as for my image and likeness, I hereby bequeath every image which I uploaded of myself to a public website to belong to the public domain, to be defaced as much as possible.

Have fun guys!

I have an ulterior motive here: to become a permanent member on the Onion’s infographics.

By the way, I always have a wildly entertaining Thanksgiving meal. No murders yet.

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How to Complain (Random Tips)

by Robert Nagle on 2/4/2010

in Consumerism

Consumerist has some fun thoughts about getting complaints resolved.

One commenter suggests: bringing a lawnchair, a six pack, a novel and potato chips and camp out in front of the company’s  building.

More seriously, an brilliant commenter recommends depersonalizing the problem and going out of your way not to blame the person you are complaining to.  Suggested phrasing:

THE BIG ONE: "Listen, I know this isn’t your fault, so I don’t mean to take it out on you. I’m sure you can appreciate my frustration."

"You seem like a really nice person, so I want you to know that I’m not trying to be rude to you. I hope I don’t come off that way."

Also: Making a Youtube video can help

I’m kind of an expert of getting resolutions  (since I sued a multibillion dollar corporation and once prevailed). Here are my tips for dealing with customer service representatives (CSR) and getting a speedy resolution.

  1. Initially you should assume good faith on both the company and the people who worked for it. So much of these problems are the result of bad communication or  a misinformed worker. You have a problem only when you are hearing the same thing from more than one person.
  2. Initially when you complain, you  should leave open the possibility that you are wrong. Until you have seen the problem from all ends, you can never really know for sure why the company isn’t handling the matter the way  you think they  are supposed to.  In one case, I complained to Aetna about their denial of coverage about something. They sent a reply explaining why they denied it. Turns out they were right, but it revealed 1)their benefits packet was very misleading and 2)I assumed that information which was valid one year would still be valid for the next year. That turned out not to be the case. I still think Aetna treated me badly (and definitely keep it in mind at year’s end when I decide whether to renew my policy). The point here is that Aetna was acting legally and correctly by their rules – even though their customer service and their communication was still lacking.   
  3. Especially for the first or second CSR, you should ask for help in a way that sounds like you are asking for their advice. “In your opinion, what is the best way to resolve this situation?” If you ask them for an opinion, they might recommend a strategy for getting around the usual roadblocks. Getting around roadblocks is your primary goal here!
  4. Never complain about things that you are not trying to get a resolution for. If the customer service  rep who refused to honor your coupon also called you an “asshole,” that may be interesting and actionable, but chances are, any action taken in response to that won’t improve your situation.  Your goal is getting money back, not getting someone disciplined. 
  5. If you are talking to an employee or manager in person and they are treating you badly, you should say, “Is your refusal to honor a discount an example of  good customer service?”  Basically, you should phrase it “Is Action X an example of your company’s Goal Y?” Many employees in this situation will feel forced to say yes in response. That does not mean that they don’t see your point of view!
  6. Be careful not to raise your voice or start ranting. CSRs learn to tune that all out (and even mock you after you leave).  I once griped at a Walmart cashier about  a really egregious example of bad customer service by one of her coworkers. This woman – who couldn’t be more than 21 – started laughing and said, “Do you think I really care?”   This woman was being honest about something other employees were thinking but were too afraid to say.
  7. Keep a time line of your complaint with ample notes on Google Docs. Google docs will datestamp additions and keep your notes in a central place.
  8. If you do telephone them, ask the CSR this question: “do you have the authority to override a fee/reverse a charge/? If the answer is yes, describe your complaint. If the answer is no, say, “can I speak to someone who does have this authority?” You shouldn’t waste your time explaining the problem to someone who is powerless to solve it. Of course, they may not know the answer until they have first heard your complaint, but  it is good to give them an opportunity as early as possible to kick the whole matter upstairs.  Never underestimate the laziness of the frontline CSR; it generally works in your favor.
  9. After the first attempt to address the matter telephonically, do not telephone them again. Instead, conduct the matter entirely by written correspondence. If the matter concerns a substantial amount of money, I recommend certified mail. (But you will need to pay for 2, and the cost in time and money is not trivial).  Scan copies of your correspondence and keep online on Google docs.
  10. The key is in keeping your correspondence as short as possible.
  11. Rudeness in  emails to customer service almost always backfires. The first email should state the facts. The second email should merely point out, “This is the second request – I am getting frustrated”. Only for  the third email are you allowed  to become mildly vicious. 

The reason why certified mail/snail mail works is that most companies don’t take the time to keep records.  It all boils down to who has more diligent record-keeping.

Another problem is that the company usually sends you lots of boilerplate information, and you may not have access to all the information. Probably the first step to resolving the complaint is getting access to the necessary information. That is not always easy.

One cause of problems is that you rely on the spoken assurance of an employee/CSR/manager. If it’s not in writing, you really don’t have a basis for complaint, so you need to transfer any oral statement in writing ASAP.

It helps when CSR resolve the problem over the phone.  (That means the employee is using the preapproved discretionary power to help you – no skin off their backs). But you shouldn’t rely on anything they say – especially if they promise to put a note on your account. Ideally you should send them an email confirming what has been told to you. At the very least, you should keep the statement on your notes in Google Docs with a name and ID.

My mother (who has worked in upper management) has one solution to all customer service problems: be polite and ask to speak to the supervisor. This strategy has paid off at times, but over the last few years it is becoming less effective.  Here are my problems with my Mom’s  continuous escalation strategy:

  1. When you’re on hold and talking to various people, you are not really creating a paper trail.  You’re also wasting your time.
  2. It’s sometimes unclear whether the company wants a personal business relationship with you or whether its front line staff has been trained to value that relationship. You may be 100% in the right, but if the staff is not trained properly to resolve these things, your barking may be futile.
  3. Many low-level workers have no authority for helping you.
  4. Their boss will be available, but that doesn’t mean they need to address your matter promptly. It’s in their best interest to give you a bit of a runaround first.  Basically you are swapping your waiting time for the ability to speak to someone who can help you. How much is your time worth?
  5. If you are complaining to a smaller company, the boss has fewer rules to work from.  That can be both a blessing and a curse.
  6. The main advantage of talking to a boss is that this person may be more knowledgeable about procedures and policies and know of why an exception would apply. But I have found that they are not really flexible about basic policies or alleged promises made by underlings to a customer.

Customer service has been deteriorating over the last decade. There’s not much  you can do about it. (Companies generally have stricter policies, less competent employees and much more efficient customer tracking).  I think you need to write off a certain percentage of these incidents to experience (because they were too time-consuming to pursue).  The main “revenge” you can take is to abandon the company without telling them.  Here is a letter I read from a Zig Ziglar book, called I am the Nice Customer who Never Comes Back.

I Am the Nice Customer

You may have met me; I’ve been in your store before. I never complain, no matter how poor the service.

I wait patiently while the employees stand idly by, never bothering to see if there is anything they can do for me. If the produce is bad or the store is dirty, I never mention it.

I’m respectful to other customers and never complain if other people are served out of turn.  I remain silent. I don’t believe in arguing over such things.

I seldom take anything back to the store because I have found that employees are usually disagreeable when I do. Life is too short to get into these unpleasant little scrimmages for the sake of a dollar or two.

I don’t say much…I never complain…I don’t make a scene, as I’ve watched others do…I’m just not built that way. Yes, you may know me. I’m a nice customer, but I’ll tell you what else I am: I am the customer who never comes back!

That is my revenge for getting pushed around. That is why poor service or rude treatment never upsets me; because I know I ‘m not coming back. It’s true that my method of getting even does not relieve my anger and frustration as quickly as would telling people what I think, but in the long run, it is a far more deadly revenge.

A nice customer like myself, multiplied by others of my kind, can ruin a business. We can force a store to close its doors while the owner’s wonder why the customers stopped coming in. There are a lot of nice people in the world, a lot of nice customers. When we get pushed too far, we just go down the street to another store. We buy in places where management is smart enough to hire people who appreciate nice customers. We increase the business of these stores by thousands of dollars each year…dollars you didn’t appreciate when I brought them to your store…dollars you lose every time you lose a nice customer.

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Silly hamster scams

by Robert Nagle on 2/4/2010

in General

From the people who brought you Amish porn (SFW! – but in poor taste!) here is a wacky flying hamster experiment gone awry. Here’s what happens when animal rights people protest (later, the website guy makes a kind of retraction).

Related: the same people seem to have cracked the Willa Wonka code: it’s really about college sex orgies!

I can enjoy a good hoax, but the thing about the Internet is that there is no way to know if one  person’s comedy is another person’s sadism.

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Please admire my restraint

by Robert Nagle on 2/4/2010

in Video/Multimedia

I could probably read it forever, but instead I decided to stop reading the televisionwithoutpity.com forum about Lost after “only” 18 pages of a 37 page thread.

Lost Season 6 has been as good as ever.

It must be terrifying to write for the show, knowing that your fan base (we call ourselves “Losties”) is going to dissect every single detail.  I wouldn’t call Lost great art, but I think it will be enjoyed for many generations afterwards.

I think we need to have a rule abolishing time travel episodes.

I have deeper thoughts about this series, but now won’t be the time to share them.

Most important plot insight: TV series that use time-travel episodes need to avoid hiring child actors!

Semi-related: my new dachshund crapped on my TV remote control and caused it to break somehow.

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E.B. White on Dachshunds

by Robert Nagle on 2/3/2010

in Doggies

I promise I won’t clutter the blog with too much dogginess, but last Friday I adopted a 1 1/2 year dachshund named A.J. Here’s what E.B. White (another dachshund owner) has to say about them:

“Being the owner of dachshunds, to me a book on dog discipline becomes a volume of inspired humor. Every sentence is a riot. Some day, if I ever get a chance, I shall write a book, or warning, on the character and temperament of the dachshund and why he can’t be trained and shouldn’t be. I would rather train a striped zebra to balance an Indian club than induce a dachshund to heed my slightest command. When I address Fred I never have to raise either my voice or my hopes. He even disobeys me when I instruct him in something he wants to do.”

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My dog AJ (with my sister's beagle in the background)

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Wow, I bookmarked something in delicious a few months ago and only today got around to wanting to look at it again. It was an important page for me although I had no plans to use it immediately.   So I bookmarked it on delicious and thought, gee, it’s always there when I will need it.

Alas! Apparently I didn’t bookmark it on delicious; I could have sworn that I did. But how did I find this site in the first place? I remember it was a lone individual’s site; it was somebody who knew his stuff, but not a name I would recognize.

I tried googling and looking through reference links, and then by some great miracle I found it again! Thank goodness. It probably is of no use to most readers, but for the sake of posterity, here it is: CSS Tests and Experiments (and specifically this thumbnail image gallery template). Bruno Fassino, you’re a genius!

As a person who is not a web designer, I am willing to learn some basic css tricks, but most of the CSS resource guides are focused on wild design concepts of limited usefulness. Also, these so-called tutorials often focus on really elaborate site layouts without first explaining basic concepts.

Even good explainers of CSS are not right for me. Eric Meyer wrote a first class book on web-design, and it is useful for teaching concepts, but I find that my needs are more basic than that. I want some simple designs to play around with (but a little more complicated than the W3 CSS tutorials).

With the Internet, there is another problem. Browsers don’t implement css evenly, and often when one browser falls short, the designer puts hacks to make it work in the other browsers. These browser   hacks are useful at the time, but a year later, the hack is no longer necessary and you no longer need it (it only clutters the web page).

Another problem is that as browsers support later versions of CSS, there are often more efficient ways to accomplish things. I’ll confess: I don’t have the time to keep abreast of the latest tricks.  I just relearn CSS every two years or so for a particular project and forget it again  (starting with my first experiment here. Believe me, the popup windows were pretty amazing in April 2002).  I actually enjoy fiddling around with CSS once in a while, but it’s agonizing having to relearn everything from scratch (and this time I have Safari and Chome that I need to test—ugh!). The good news is that my Luddite friend (who was on IE 5.5 until about 2003)  has now upgraded to IE 6 (although he’s still on Windows 98).  He’s somebody I can ask to test things in a pinch. Amazingly, as of December 2009, IE 6 still accounts for 10% of all Internet traffic.

What I like about  Fassino’s website is that we see the results of various experiments. Feel free to suggest your own favorites.

Here are the CSS resources I refer to most often.

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Oatmeal Humor and Puritanical Pangs

by Robert Nagle on 2/1/2010

in Offbeat/Humor

Charlie Brooker news report video  on how to report the news. Marvelous on how he uses the format itself to deconstruct it. One reason I love this video is that after you watch it, you can never watch a TV news report the same way.  Even funnier is the “literal” youtube comment:

This is a hastily formulated comment poorly expressing righteous indignation, utterly failing to appreciate the potential irony and humour of the exchange and instead retaliating in kind.

Here are  hilarious cartoons by Oatmeal.com: How to Suck at Facebook , why I’d rather be punched in the testicles than call customer service, how a web design goes straight to hell, why I believe printers were sent from hell to make you miserable, and things bears love.  The comic genius behind all this is Matthew Inman, a Seattle web designer and SEO whiz.

 

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It’s interesting: although  the links for this particular post  are basically ok (with the exception of a few cuss words here and there and the random offcolor detail), over the years I am growing a lot more puritanical about the kinds of things I link to. It started with facebook and the knowledge that friends and my mother (and even a priest friend)  could conceivably be viewing it. I really don’t care about other people’s opinions; I just tire of having to deal with  complaints. But even on my blog (which no one ever reads – that is, except for suckers like you), I am feeling puritanical pangs; maybe I should just pass on providing the vulgar  link just this once.

It’s not vulgarity itself that bothers me (especially if it’s artfully done), it’s the fear that I may unwittingly be helping to legitimize vulgarity for its own sake. I am not a parent, but I understand the parent’s inclination to keep vulgar language and violence from young people; there’s so much time in life to enjoy vulgarity and crudeness; if your self-appointed role is to highlight remarkable things on the web, shouldn’t you be spending more time seeking out things which are not vulgar? Shouldn’t I be trying to bring an elevated tone to my blog?

Oh, you disagree with me? Well, fuck off!  

I’ve noticed that chronic  oversharers finally reach a point where they  pull back and hide those small little embarrassing things they put on the web.  (I’m more of an egoist than exhibitionist, but luckily nobody really cares about the stuff I put online—if I did a sex tape and released it online, I have a feeling no one would bother to download it).  consider myself more of an egotist than an exhibitionist, but my feeling is that no one one really cares about anything I post online.   After they achieve a certain level of fame or importance, they inevitably hide those little embarrassing things they put on the net.  I have published a lot out there – including a small bit of semi-scandalous stuff.  The great thing about blogging is that if you haven’t blogged about it in the last 4 days, nobody will know about it unless you call attention to it. Often you  forget  about these things yourself –  and it can be a shock when you stumble randomly upon it 5 years later. 

I worry less about losing control of my identity than having an identity which is completely unnoticeable.  

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After seeing it on  Catching the Waves, I am now testing  the new embedded yahoo media player.  Wow, it works!  I think I will start adding mp3 links to most of my posts. Let me know if it bothers you or if it has technical problems. Yahoo Media Player was the brainchild of Lucas Gonze  (who created the amazing webjay online playlist site in 2004). Click on the Play button to see the magic at work. Andrew Sisters

Aha, I see that the yahoo player will automatically embed every mp3 link on a web page. So after playing this Bei Mir bist du Schon link, the player proceeded  to the next mp3 on the page (which in this case is the fascinating but irrelevant  90 minute lecture about Internet freedom with James Fallows). Hey, that was a good talk, but I realize if you click on the Bei Mir Bist du Schon link, you hardly expect to hear James Fallows! To solve this problem, I guess I will just have to include multiple Bei Mir links (bummer!) 

By the way, if any random web surfer has found this page through a similar obsession, let me mention two versions which give me shivers.

  • I heard a jazzy Russian version on a Russian music cassette (from a band that did jazzy cover versions of various songs; I remember one they did of Don’t Cry for Me Argentina which was particularly terrific). Anyway, if anyone knows who did this version or how to listen to it online, let me know.
  • The SwingChix Ukulele version of the Bei Mir on youtube is by my far my favorite modern version of the song. It is fresh, fun, silly, stylish and different. 

(By the way, I am officially NOT wondering about whether these versions ought to be available on archive.org).

This wiki page lists many  versions of the song. I eagerly await  the Pig Latin version of the song.

People who know me know about my obsession with the Andrew Sisters. I never tire of hearing their dynamite version of this song.

PS. I heartily recommend Swing It: The Andrew Sisters book by John Sforza (Read excerpts on Google books).

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You do not have the right to waste my time

January 29, 2010

Introducing the Robert Nagle Ignorance Removal Services. Only $300 per hour to demonstrate why a common climate denialist argument is wrong

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Risque Music Videos: Nonsensical or Subversive?

January 25, 2010

Here are 3  songs that are going to infect your brain: nonsensical songs with obscene lyrics and a hard rhythm. (By the way, both were features on the 2009 SXSW mp3 torrent download).
Here’s an amazing rap song and an amazing music video by hip hopper  Bomani Armah called Read a Book! If you check  [...]

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Risque Comedy & Flagging those Molecules

January 25, 2010

Crazy TV nonnews.
The actor who played the annoying Screech in Saved by the Bell  tells how he picked up women: walk around Disneyland until a teenage girl recognizes him and starts hanging around. (From an amusing book review written by Sam Greenspan). 
Ever wonder how to get on CNN? Write a random note about [...]

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China and Freedoms

January 24, 2010

Here is an amazing 90 minute panel about China and Internet freedoms in anticipation of Clinton’s speech.  Video streaming and mp3 download.
Hilary Clinton gave a groundbreaking speech on Internet censorship a few days ago.  Well worth reading in its entirety. A data point:
Now, these examples of progress can be replicated in the lives [...]

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Maximum family income to be eligible for Medicaid in Texas is $5750

January 24, 2010

Here’s some amazing analysis by Alec McGillis that Brown’s victory in Massachusetts may have been triggered by a revolt by people who are sick of helping out states which are stingy about Medicaid (like Texas):
Brown’s message underscores a little-noticed political dynamic in a country where rates of the uninsured vary widely, from Massachusetts to Texas, [...]

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Denialism: A disease which can affect generally smart people

January 21, 2010

Abstract Factory asks: Why are so many people in IT climate change denialists?
Computing workers are, on average, more “autistic” and less “empathetic” on the autism/empathy spectrum. That is, they are unusually incompetent at modeling the mental and emotional states of other people. As a result, they fail to place themselves in the shoes of professional [...]

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A lesson in humility

January 19, 2010

I write online fiction I’m very proud of. (It’s under a pseudonym; sorry).
Occasionally I will revisit old stories and reread them; sometimes to remember the beauty of a sentence or a sentiment – sometimes just to relive the story itself. A guilty pleasure, perhaps, but I confess that I enjoy being taken into a story [...]

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No time to blog, but time enough for outrage

January 18, 2010

There are times when blogging is out of the question, but I come across amazingly bloggable things.
Aaron Datesman discovers that “ every day, 3 million pounds of explosives are used to blow the tops off ancient mountain ridges in southern West Virginia to access thin seams of coal underneath.” and calculates that it’s the equivalent [...]

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Why, Netflix, Why?

January 14, 2010

I have one question for Netflix. I need an answer. If you click on the movie metadata, you can see other films by the same director or cast member. Why on earth would Netflix not also let you browse by the name of the script writer? They don’t even list it in the metadata.
I [...]

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Jamendo: Lessons for the Publishing Industry

January 14, 2010

I realize this is off-topic, but I have been working on a series of articles about Jamendo, a free and legal French music site that distributes over 29,000 creative commons albums. Over the last 3 years I have listened to 2200+ of the Jamendo’s 29,000 free music albums and chosen the best of the best [...]

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Interview with Jose Cruz (JCRZ)

January 13, 2010

Recently writer and critic Robert Nagle made a list of 11 Incredible Musicians You Can Download for Free. Many of the musicians on this top list make their music freely available on Jamendo, a free and legal music sharing site. Several musicians  appearing on this  list also gave interviews to this blog  (Read the other [...]

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Interview with Thomas Eccard (2 Inventions)

January 13, 2010

Recently writer and critic Robert Nagle made a list of 11 Incredible Musicians You Can Download for Free. Many of the musicians on this top list make their music freely available on Jamendo, a free and legal music sharing site. Several musicians  appearing on this  list also gave interviews to this blog  (Read the other [...]

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Interview with Vavrek & John Holowach (Tryad)

January 13, 2010

Recently writer and critic Robert Nagle made a list of 11 Incredible Musicians You Can Download for Free . Many of the musicians on this top list make their music freely available on Jamendo, a free and legal music sharing site. Several musicians  appearing on this  list also gave interviews to this blog  (Read the [...]

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Interview with Adam Szabo (Ant on Wax)

January 12, 2010

Recently writer and critic Robert Nagle made a list of 11 Incredible Musicians You Can Download for Free. Many of the musicians on this top list make their music freely available on Jamendo, a free and legal music sharing site. Several musicians  appearing on this  list also gave interviews to this blog  (Read the other [...]

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Interview with Hannah Sheehan (No Really)

January 12, 2010

Recently writer and critic Robert Nagle made a list of 11 Incredible Musicians You Can Download for Free. Many of the musicians on this top list make their music freely available on Jamendo, a free and legal music sharing site. Several musicians  appearing on this  list also gave interviews to this blog  (Read the other [...]

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Interview with Lonah

January 12, 2010

Recently writer and critic Robert Nagle made a list of 11 Incredible Musicians You Can Download for Free. Many of the musicians on this top list make their music freely available on Jamendo, a free and legal music sharing site. Several musicians  appearing on this  list also gave interviews to this blog  (Read the other [...]

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And I thought I was so cool (the incredible speed of Internet memes)

January 12, 2010

I had been having a back-and-forth about global warming with a friend in Japan. Just on a lark, I sent a silly music video that was a remix of an infomercial . It is absurd and yet it’s hard to resist rewatching (“Stop having boring tuna!”).
My friend in Japan is a bit crazy, but [...]

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Pens in Bed (the benefits of unloading your daily cogitations)

January 12, 2010

Last night while in bed I thought of a good idea for a blogging topic. I mentally composed the blogpost but never actually wrote anything down. I remember thinking, “what if I forgot this idea when I awoke the next morning?” My answer was a curious rationalization at the time: I told myself that despite [...]

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