20 Bad Similes and Metaphors of Romance Novels. My favorites: 20. His body was hard — not hard like Milosevic, the Serbian strongman, but hard like the marble on your shower floor, when you fall and bang your knee. and 15 Beatrice was on him like a piranha on a corn dog. . Actually, it’s quite a talent to write strange metaphors like this. The two winners (in my book) are Richard Brautigan and Marcel Proust.
This is one of the most hilarious things I have read. A good subject for a website. Thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.