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Dating Services and Probabilities

A week ago I posted an amazing Business Week article about how the Singles community are becoming demographically more significant than the married community. Here’s an interesting analysis of why online dating services don’t succeed (several pages long) and an interesting demographic calculator. (Check the bottom for a breakdown by city). According to this soulmate calculator, I need to meet 528 female Houston singles to find my soulmate. Interestingly, they don’t break it down by education level.

I’ve been browsing the “Soulmate Manifesto” on the above website and finding some interesting statements about relationships. (You can also download the soulmate manifesto as a PDF ). Apparently, Chau Vuong is a technology executive also interested in espousing a philosophy on “soulmates” and how to increase your chances of meeting your “soulmate.” He likes to analyze relationships as a kind of mathematical relationship. (Imagine a relationship book as written by an economist). His language is sometimes terse and clumsy, and his insights are occasionally banal, but I’ve found some provocative ideas:

People, who never been hurt before, usually have no inhibition to give their full love. People, who have been hurt, may be cautious to make themselves vulnerable to another lover. This is why most people consider their “first love” very special, when they were innocent and both people loved completely. Once people have baggage, they force their future lovers to deal with the baggage, increasing their lovers’ emotional cost.

Dreamers may be fantasizing of a soulmate that may not exist. They may hold out and may not commit believing one day they will eventually find their soulmate.

People who have no hobbies or interests will fall in love more frequently and faster.
Having a hobby or interest makes increases your emotional availability and free time. Also being bored, you need someone to entertain you.

People who are out of school and working in a boring job will fall in love more frequently and faster.

Most people are not strategic planners. They live day by day so they are unaware that being with the wrong lover is costing them an opportunity to be with the right one.

People who think they are attractive are more resistant to love and likely to be more selective. People with low self-esteem or low confidence are more susceptible to love.

When you break up, unless you announce publicly you have broken up, people will still assume you are still in a relationship. To most, you may look like a loser for always being single but to the socially smart, you are brilliant.

{ 1 comment… add one }
  • Jeanie 5/5/2008, 7:36 pm

    Are you saying that those still waiting for the soul mate are destine to wait or just more likely to than those who the thought has already been smashed?

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