Wierd Dating Openers

by Robert Nagle on 2/11/2009

in Dating & Relationships

Pick Up Artists (PUA) have a fetish about opening lines—although the most polished usually prefer the simplest opening line –which is, “Hi.”

(note: these two links are mildly NSFW mainly because of profanity and explicit sexual language).

Some openers are in fact hilarious. Here are two:

“Hi, my name is Thursday. I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you. But, before you talk to me, you should know that I have, like, no friends and an extreeeeeeeeeemly small penis.”

YOU: “Hey do you like horses?”
GIRL: ”HUH? ummm yea i guess.”
YOU: “Hmm, I thought so. OK check this out, when I was in the 6th grade, there was this girl who loved horses. She used to run around the playground for an hour straight at lunchtime. She’d be galloping and making horse noises. We used to call her the weird horse girl.”
GIRL: “Yeah, so?”
YOU: “well…you look JUST LIKE HER!”

With these openers, I inaugurate a new blog category: Dating & Relationships. Will this madness never end?

From the Fast Seduction Community, a FAQ about who should pay on a date: (edited slightly to remove profanity).

The default rule (for PUAs) is to not pay for anything except yourself. “No play, no pay.” However, this rule can (and should) be superseded by whatever the circumstance entails but not to the extent that you are going out of your way to impress or supplicate to her.

### For newbie AFCs ###

Not paying for chicks is SECONDARY. The main thing is to seduce them with your mental game and this  “rule” about paying is just to prevent you from doing what that that guy from the article “How not to PU” on Maniac’s site did… You DON’T pay for trips to Paris and you DON’T buy them clothes and jewelry! As for coffee, it’s too insignificant an expense to risk putting her in a bad state from which AFC newbies can’t pull her from.

### For AFCs/RAFCs miscellaneous situations ###

Co-workers having coffee: It is the expected that each person pay for their own drink.
Co-workers having drinks: It is the expected that each person pay for their own drink. Or to take turns buying drinks.
New HB + you having coffee: Play it by ear, but expect to pay. No big deal. Coffee & a snack is usually only a few dollars.
New HB + you having drinks: Play it by ear, but expect to pay the first round. Let her pay the second, then play it by ear from there.
First date: PUAs don’t “date” girls they aren’t already fucking.

(FYI: AFC= Average frustrated chimp, RAFC=recovering average frustrated chimp, PUA=pick up artists. HB=hot babe. Here’s a glossary. By the way, reading the glossary can be instructive in itself).

Speaking of paying, here’s an amusing exchange on Craig’s List between a 25 year old golddigger and her wealthy prospect (found on Snopes, probably spurious).

Postscript about Opening Lines: A guy at work just thanked me for an opening line to give an Albanian girl. I advised him to ask, “Are you Tosk or Gheg?  (referring to the language dialect in Albania). My friend came back and told me, it worked like a charm!

This reminds me of another first line I heard from a woman at work. Her husband worked at the same office building but in a nearby hallway. They passed each other regularly without really saying anything. His office had a glass door, and so one time he was on the phone, she passed by and he motioned for her to come in the office. She did, while he finished the conversation. Eventually he hung up the phone and said, “hey, are you married?” It turns out he had to attend some social function and needed a companion.  They hit it off and had a great marriage.

I don’t have any good first line stories except one. One girl I  knew in Eastern Europe came over to me and announced, My name is ——- and I am your secret Santa.” (It was true; I was involved in an afterschool group where we were doing all sorts of things; she had drawn my name and had sent some  small sweet  gifts).  It was love at first sight for me.

By the way, reading the  Mystery Method book made me aware of the “anti-bitch shield” which all young females apparently wear when they go out in public  (where they ignore any small talk from men when in a public place). He made the point that sometimes the initial response from a strange woman  may be unintentionally bruque–it’s more pro forma than genuine.   So maybe having a magical “opening” is not so important after all.

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