Risque Comedy & Flagging those Molecules

by Robert Nagle on 1/25/2010

in Offbeat/Humor,Pop Americana

Crazy TV nonnews.

The actor who played the annoying Screech in Saved by the Bell  tells how he picked up women: walk around Disneyland until a teenage girl recognizes him and starts hanging around. (From an amusing book review written by Sam Greenspan).

Ever wonder how to get on CNN? Write a random note about Gilligan’s island while on a plane and be arrested for endangering the lives of other passengers.  I quote the actual note he wrote in the customer card being passed around by flight attendants on the plane.

“I thought I was going to die, we were so high up,” the card said. “I thought to myself: I hope we don’t crash and burn or worse yet landing in the ocean, living through it, only to be eaten by sharks, or worse yet, end up on some place like Gilligan’s Island, stranded, or worse yet, be eaten by a tribe of headhunters, speaking of headhunters, why do they just eat outsiders, and not the family members? Strange … and what if the plane ripped apart in mid-flight and we plumited (sic) to earth, landed on Gilligan’s Island and then lived through it, and the only woman there was Mrs. Thurston Howell III? No Mary Anne (my favorite) no Ginger, just Lovey! If it were just her, I think I’d opt for the sharks, maybe the headhunters.”

By the way, they expect to release a Gilligan’s Island remake in 2011. I can’t wait (seriously). I also really can’t wait until the sequel to Wall Street is released in February. I admit I’m a sucker for sequels – especially when the original writers go against the grain and try  something peculiar (time travel, go to Vegas or get the band/crime-fighting duo back together), If all goes well, I’ll be receiving my Get Smart sequels in the mail tonight. (Apparently they did several TV sequels in the 1990s).

Actual answer by Sarah Palin on the 2008 campaign trail about oil:

When someone asked Sarah Palin this question ( “I’d like to know that all that oil we’re going to drill here is going to stay here domestically and it’s not going to be exported by the oil companies.”), Palin gives a doozy of an answer:

Oil (of coal), of course, is a fungible commodity and they don’t flag, ya know, the molecules where, where it’s going to where it’s not but and in the, in the sense of the Congress today they know our very, very hungry domestic markets that need that oil first. So I believe that what Congress is going to do also is not to allow the export bans to such a degree that it’s Americans who get stuck holding the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here, it’s gotta flow into our domestic markets first.

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