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To my amazement (and yes, joy), Conan will be doing a podcast version of a “Hans and Franz” movie from the famous/silly SNL sketch.
COUP LEADER IS NOT A POTENTIAL US ALLY: Last year Prigozhin freely admitted that the Russian government interfered in the 2016 election, and the US State Department offered a reward of up to $10 million for information on Prigozhin in connection with “engagement in U.S. election interference”. Even if you ignore the alleged human rights abuses committed by his mercenary army, Prigozhin could never be described as being a “lesser evil” than Putin.
MORAL BANKRUPTCY OF CONGRESSIONAL REPUBLICANS: Not only is it appalling that House Republicans voted to censure one of the most honorable and well-mannered members of Congress for dubious reasons, one has to ask why these same people never bothered to censure George Santos for lying about just about everything to just about everybody. Or Jim Jordan for his extreme rhetoric. Or Donald Trump for his bigoted statements. I wish we had more Adam Schiffs in Congress — and fewer people like my own congressman Troy Nehls (who described Donald Trump last year as “one of the greatest leaders of our lifetimes.”)
TROY NEHLS (QUOTE): “They’re getting so desperate that they’re going to try to break into his (Trump’s) home on a cheap search warrant to say that he is trying to hide classified information. I beg to differ. … They’re trying to destroy the greatest president we have had in our lifetimes…. He will be the nominee, and he will win. … No question about it; I saddled my horse, and that’s Donald Trump, and he’s going to take us all to the winner’s circle. (Newsmax, Aug 13, 2022)
MOVIE RECOMMENDATION (Streaming on Peacock): “Thousand and one” is a gritty Harlem drama about a mother and son, First time director A.V. Rockwell also wrote the sharp script, with incredible performance by Teyana Taylor who played the mother. Easily the best movie I’ve seen this year.
(NOW ON HBO/MAX). Michael Barrett reviews a recent documentary about a mentally ill 21 year old millionaire who publicly gives away his money in the 1970s. It’s an amazing and tragic documentary, directed by Austenite Keith Maitland.
“NEWHART” on Amazon Prime. Delighted to realize that NEWHART (the 80s sitcom starring Bob Newhart as a Vermont innkeeper) is on Amazon Prime. It’s definitely “comfort food,” but the writing and the characters are always fresh and the 3 brothers (Larry, Daryl and Daryl) always provide laughs.
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(LONG JOKE) A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”
The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.”
The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.”
The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.
Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.”
The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.
But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.
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EXPOSE! Comedy writer Merrill Markoe uncovers an international conspiracy of woman pretending to be able to write on their stomachs. Theevidence is damning.
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