Notes of a Blogging Retard

A screenwriter fesses up: she is a blogging retard:

By the way, I forgot to mention I am a blogging retard. I didnt even know what Trackback was, I had to look it up. I CANNOT UNDERSTAND THE CODE IN MY TEMPLATE, but twice now I have successfully put stuff in it. Like, my BE button and a COUNTER. However, I couldnt figure out how to get either one where I wanted it on the page. I desperately want to put links to other blogs on here, but I CANT FIGURE OUT HOW. I joined a thing called blogroller, but after that, Im not really sure what I was supposed to do. I dont even really know what Blogroller is. But, NONE OF THIS STOPS ME FROM THINKING: I can do that. So, I open up my TEMPLATE page and I stare at it, line by line, and think: I BET WHEN I SEE IT ILL KNOW WHAT IT IS I NEED TO DO. Theres just one problem: I dont really ever SEE anything. It looks like when my dog walks across my keyboard ?>nflitz
As long as we are sort of LAYING IT ALL OUT THERE, there are a few other things you should know about me.

ONCE EVERY 5 YEARS I buy one of those huge two gallon SUN TEA JUGS, and a box of Orange Zinger Tea, thinking: I will make Sun Tea! Somwhere around year 2, I realize I am never going to make Sun Tea but that I dont EVEN LIKE SUN TEA. Its SLOW and requires SKILLS, like, putting water in a jug and putting teabags in it. And what am I a fucking Stepford Wife? I cant do that shit.

See also: why she dislikes People’s Awards show and Things she has learned in her long life”. Here’s #10:

10. If your boss says he will be doing editing all day Sunday, and then asks what you will be doing, do not say, Making love to your wife. Even if youre a lesbian, and overweight.