Caterpillar in the Pudding

I stumbled across a random site of slang words that are cracking me up. After a few months of browsing, I have made a “short” list of my favorites.

a happy Birthday: A phrase mostly used by guys when they catch themselves in a situation when a girl exposes some part of her anatomy without knowing it, clothed or not.
Usually happens at the gym.

a Monet: Someone who is very good looking from a distance, yet from up close the attraction diminishes.

abbamatically: The tendency for an unbearably cloying song to
repeat over and over in your head all day after hearing it on the radio.
Example: More Than a Woman has been playing abbamatically in my head since breakfast.

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Example: If you drink 24 beers a day you must be prepared to abdicate seeing your toes again.

absonotly: Used when the intent is to most definitely decline in no uncertain terms.
Example: I absonotly won’t do that.

acrapulate: Word used for describing a large amount of useless junk collected over a period of time .
Example: I can’t believe how much I’ve acrapulated over the years.

adorkable: Being adorable in a dorky sort of way.
Example: When Eric started to dance the jig at the concert he looked adorkable.

Agent 21: The member of you group of friends who just turned 21. Usually forced to go buy alcohol when the group runs out. Usually done for revenge for all the times you bought beer for them when they were under 21.

alap: Acronym for As Long As Possible.
Example: He had to take the abuse, threats, and taunts in order to keep the money flowing ALAP.

alphanerd: Manager of Information Services, any IT professional from whom other IT workers take direction.
Geekish IT person who has been forced into management.

alzphoners disease: the disease that occurs when someone constantly says ‘Ill Call Ya Tonite and never does

ALYWING: acting like your working
Example: Stop ALYWING. I know better, Missy.

ambimoustrous: Equally adept at using a computer’s mouse with either hand – often in reaction to early-onset RSI.

amoeba bill: In romantic relationships, a person who is emotionally unavailable to you (within mere days) but is always open to romantic opportunities with others.
Example: Eustace courted Raven with ardency until two days later when he met Brigitte. He then proceeded to appall Raven with his passionate compliments about Brigitte. What an amoeba bill.

amorroneous: From amor and erroneous…the wrong time for romance
Example: Don’t be amorroneous; we’re
in public.

Amway Christian: A fundamentalist Christian who has forgotten the original message of Jesus Christ–to help the less fortunate.
Amway Christians subvert the message to instead become a celebration of how rich Jesus has made them.
Socially conservative Christians who utilize multi-level marketing, akin to Amway Corporation, combining Christianity and capitalism without seeing the contradiction.
Example: The Alliance Church parking lot is full of Mercedes and Lexuses.
The Amway Christians must be having their bible study meeting.

and baby Jesus cried: Used after an intense series of words leading up to or describing a period of deep sorrow.
Example: I crashed my car, I failed the test, I forgot her birthday…and baby Jesus cried.

Anticipointment: A greatly awaited event that turns out to be a fizzer.
Example: For some, Y2K was an event of great anticipointment, especially if you were holed up in a shed in the desert surrounded by cans of Spam

ape-touching: Describes an item that a person is in great awe of. A reference to the Dawn of Man scene in _2001: A Space Odyssey_.
Example: That’s an ape-touching new widescreen TV you’ve got there.

Aquaman: Derogatory term for someone who’s useless–
just as Aquaman was useless in the 1970s cartoon show The Superfriends.

Area 51ers: People who will see a conspiracy in everything.
Example: Well, Princess Diana is dead then. I expect the Area 51ers will claim she was assasinated by UFOs.Area 51ers: People who will see a conspiracy in everything.

arm candy: That exceptionally attractive and younger person walking with the older well-to-do person.
Example: I met Dr. Watson’s latest date. He always has the best arm candy.

arrove: Past tense of arrive.
Example: He arrove yesterday.

Artbuster (noun): An arthouse movie that crosses over to be a big mainstream hit. First used in Variety Deal Memo and picked up by other movie publications

Assariffic: Something that is not good.
Example: My weekend was assariffic! Friday I got pulled over and sunday I lost my homework.

ATF: Asshole Toleration Factor.
Example: Had to bust out of that staff meeting. My ATF was at an all time low and I was fixin’ to hit someone.

attention whore: A person or housepet who is starved for attention to the point of being annoying.
Example: Your dog always follows me around. What an attention whore.

Auntie Em: 1. Affectionate colloquialism for automatic teller machine, or ATM.
2. Very generous relative so as to be like an ATM.
3. To open betting, as in ante.
Example: 1. Can we go visit Auntie Em? I’m strapped.
2. I’m always glad when grandma comes cause she always Auntie Ems when she leaves.
3. Will you Auntie Em already so we can play this hand?

avoision: To keep away, refrain from doing something or seeing someone, etc.
Commonly mistaken as evasion or avoiding. Coined by the news reader Kent Brockman.
Example: Krusty the clown was arrested for tax avoision.

babe ratio: The ratio of babes to total women present in any gathering, expressed as a percentage. If two women are there, and only one is a babe, the babe ratio is 50.

back button panic: The spasmodic, uncoordinated movements you make when you’re surfing porn on the Net and you realise that somebody is standing behind you and can see what you’re doing…

backognize: To recognize from behind; to correctly identify someone, having only seen her back.
Example: I backognized Richard Simmons on Broadway the other day.

Bag Fries: The french fries that fall out of the individual containers, and collect at the bottom of the larger bag.

bagmata: The red marks you get on the palms of your hands from carrying heavy plastic bags.
Example: I carried these heavy bags of groceries all the way out to the car. Now I’ve got bagmata.

bait shop: 1. A place or gathering where there are many people to whom you are physically attracted. However, you will only be thwarted in all attempts to convince any of these people into a physical relationship. Consequently you will return home alone and fantasize about the people. 2. A strip club or a Hooter’s restaurant.
Example: Dianne: Lets go to that beach with all of the hot guys.
Mary: That’s just a bait shop, all those guys are gay.

Billy: That sorority PapaMikeSierra is having a party!
Jack: Unless you are a frat-boy with a Porsche, it’s a bait shop.

balljazz: The odourous sticky brown crap picked off the rollers when you’ve finally decided that it’s high time to clean your mouse cos you can’t click straight. Although its chemical makeup remains a mystery despite billions of dollars being poured into analysis in Silicon Valley, it is believed to be non-toxic and edible.
Example: Christ, I’ve got anough balljazz here to stuff a pillow!

barney fifedom: In a large organization, a small department run in an authoritarian fashion by an incompetent manager.
Example: It’s a pain to get internet access, because that’s Kevin’s barney fifedom, and you know what a stickler for rules he is.

beastfriend: A beastfriend is a really heinous looking girl who hangs out with a really goodlooking girl.
Usually, no article is used. Look at Beastfriend, not Look at the Beastfriend.
Example: I was going over to talk to Pamela, but beastfriend was there and ruined it.

betheme (verb): The act of taking a perfectly fine place (usually a public place such as a bar) and redesigning it with whatever theme some marketing department currently claims is fashionable
Example: The Sun used to be a really good bar until it was bethemed and wound up as Biddy O’Mulligans

bicycle boy: A man no woman needs.
Follows from A women needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
Example: Am I dating Todd? No way, Todd’s a bicycle boy.

blahriffic: Intrinsically mundane or mediocre, but nevertheless presented
as if it is exciting or superior.
Example: Don’s birthday party was simply blahriffic.

blandwich: Bland sandwich, lacking flavor and texture, and which you eat at your desk…on an uninspiring Tuesday
Example: A. What’s for lunch? B. I’ve got a blandwich again. It’s Tuesday, isn’t it?

bloetry: Poetry written for the sole purpose of a school assignment;
shallow, meaningless, and two-dimensional poetry.
Example: Hey, Lauryn, lemme read your poem for Creative Writing. Don’t bother–it’s bloetry.

blue-hair: Used to describe annoying old people. Like those who haggle for ten minutes at the checkout counter because the price rang up five cents more than what the item was advertised for; or those out for a Sunday drive on WEDNESDAY who cruise at 20 mph below the speed limit.
Example: That’s it . . . I’m going around this blue-hair.

BOBFOC: BOBFOC can be translated as follows : Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch (UK Crime series).
Many variations on this theme.
Example: Christina is most assuredly BOBFOC.

BOGSAT: Bunch Of Guys Sitting Around a Table. Acronym first heard from MIT professor Edward Tufte as a description of the way things usually get done in a large corporation.
Example: So you wanna change the vacation policy, huh? Hope you’re ready for some serious BOGSAT.

Bone Taco: A punch in the face. Can also be used as an interjection to mean bogus, lame, that guy deserves a punch in the face, etc.
Example: That guy’s finna get a bone taco if he doesn’t shut up about my rash. I told him it’s not contagious… Well, not very…

boof: A tiny, almost imperceptible burp. A bigger burp may be referred to as a boof galoof.
Example: Oops! Excuse me, I boofed.

borken, bjorken: In computer programming, an adjective which describes code that is so buggy that even the error messages are failing.
From an apocryphal story about a misspelled user alert window which read,
‘User should not get here, this code is borken.

bornography: excessively graphic photos or videos of the birthing process
Example: I was anxious to see the new baby, but knowing Chris’s obsession with his video camera, I was afraid of being subjected to a lot of bornography when I came to visit.

boy look: The way a boy looks for lost items ineffectively (opposite of girl look).
Example: Jack: I’ve been searching for my keys for an hour–where have you put them?
Jill: You must have been having a boy look–they’re right there on the coffee table in front of you.

boy-clean: A level of cleanliness that is not quite clean, but shows at least a modest attempt to remove dust, dirt, and hair. Not girl-clean, which is just plain clean.
Example: I love my boyfriend’s apartment–but he only keeps it boy-clean, so I can’t walk around barefoot in it.

boyschool block: Affliction which affects pupils and ex-pupils of all-boys schools.
Usually manifests itself in an inability to communicate with or relate to women of a similar age group.
Example: Jack had a crush on Susie, but boyschool block prevented him from talking to her.

brain hamster: The hamster that runs on the wheel in your brain making thought possible.
Example: I feel so stupid today. My brain hamster must be dead.

breastaurant: A bar or restaurant with scantily-clad waitresses.
Example: Hooters is the most popular breastaurant in the world.

Bucket o’ Lube: Anything extremely enjoyable.
Example: Thanks for inviting me to that party last night. It was a bucket o’ lube.

bullshit bingo: 1. Presentation or monologue full of meaningless acronyms and buzzwords presented so fast (or by someone not interested in audience interaction) that listeners are left gasping at the sheer idiocy of the speaker andthe density of words designed to alienate or puzzle them.
2. Game played at long meetings likely to be larded with buzzwords.
Players have bingo sheets full of buzzwords.
The winner must shout bingo at the top of her lungs.
Example: My God, that PowerPoint presentation was pure bullshit bingo.

bungee boss: A middle manager who is put in charge of a corporate department, changes all departmental procedures, and is transferred out in a couple of months. From Dilbert, circa 1994.
Example: We still haven’t recovered from our LAST bungee boss.

buttcrack of dawn: Also butt-crack of dawn. A very early hour of the morning.
Example: I had to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn to take the SATs.

C ‘n’ E goer: Person who attends church only for Christmas and Easter and usually only to please her parents.

calamatastrophy: Worse than a calamity but not quite a catastrophe.

Catch-23: In order to solve a problem one has to create a larger problem.

caterpillar in the pudding: Something which seems out of place, or not quite right for an undetermined reason. The general state of affairs resulting from such a situation.

cellphonic appraisal: the activity that occurs when a ringing cell phone causes everyone in the room to check and see if it’s theirs.

cellu-loser: Anyone who drives/rides/walks with a non-working or toy cell phone permanently jammed in their ear to give themselves what they believe to be status.

cewebrity: A web celebrity.

chanticipation: A state experienced at or near the end of a song as the listener expects a specific song to follow, due to album order, etc.

Chartmanship: Chart craftsmanship, the ability to prepare a beautiful presentation to cover up the fact that it contains no real information.

cheesefactory: Used in this phrase or something similar: Yeah, and I own a cheesefactory. It is the sarcastic reply to anything anyone says.
Example: You always lose your job. I got a new one. Yeah, and I won a cheesefactory.

chesidue: The cheesey residue that snacks like Cheetos leave on your fingers.

chew and spew: Cheap, all you can eat restaurants.

chewbacca: (v) Chewbacca in Star Wars always had to walk behind Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. To be chewbaccaed: when the third person in a group is forced to walk behind the other two, who are walking shoulder-to-shoulder.

daddy-look: (v.) The act of searching for something in a half hearted manner. A habitual token or cursory glance most often used when looking for articles of a child’s clothing.
Example: Daddy says he can’t find your shoes? Did he look or did he daddy-look?

Dancing Toad: From the classic Warner Brothers cartoon One Froggy Evening, featuring a dancing and singing Michigan J. Frog that just croaks when anyone other than its agent is present. Describes an application which runs fine when the development team are running it, but crashes when demoed to clients.
Example: I thought the program was robust enough to beta, but it turned out to be a dancing toad.

davism: an action intended to confuse someone so as to derive ammusement at their confusion. Called a davism after the dave project that searched out and lists these confusionisms.

de-hottify: To go from extremely attractive, hot, and sexy to…to RoseAnne–largely through gaining weight.
Example: I was a babe in high school, but I thoroughly de-hottified when I had my baby.

deeferdee: D for D. Dressed for Drinks. A state of dress for woman.
When a woman is dressed rather sluttily for a night on the town.
Example: Did you see how tight her skirt was? She’s deeferdee.

e-hole: Someone who talks about nothing but the internet and has no concept of much else.
Example: The swarm of people who moved to the San Francisco area over the past few years are mostly e-holes.

earlate: earlate:(pronounced ur, not ear) Between the hours of Midnight and 4am. To late at night to be early, and to early in the morning to be late.
Example: 2:30 am? Dang, it’s earlate!

ecnalubma: Word or phrase printed in reverse on the front of a vehicle so as to be read the right way in the mirror of a vehicle ahead.
Example: ecilop

Elbonics: The phenomenon of two people maneuvering for the same arm rest in a movie theatre.

email slut: 1. Someone who checks their email more often than once every 15 minutes, especially at work. 2. Someone who will do anything to get as much email as possible.
Example: Flowerchild is quite the email slut. She gets about 150 emails a day.

face-mail: Term used to describe the daring act of talking to someone in person instead of either leaving a voice-mail or sending an e-mail.
Example: Bill scares me–he knows how to use the phone and his computer, yet just marched right into my office and left me a face-mail regarding the Simmons account.

futility room: Any room in the house that is always messy and out of control
Example: That tool you are looking for? Possibly in the futility room ?

garbage juice: 1. The liquid leaking from a torn garbage bag. Most commonly found on sidewalks in large cities.
2. A beverage which tastes awful.
Example: 1. Gross, I just stepped in puddle of garbage juice.
2. This martini’s awful. It tastes like garbage juice.

Geekend: A weekend spent engaged in geek-related activities.
Example: I’ve just bought a new computer, so it looks like it’s going to be a long geekend.

generational dissonance: The state of believing that one’s generation is unique;
that one will avoid the errors made by predecessors in similar situations.
Example: He actually thought that 90s music would be around forever.
It was generational dissonance that kept him from seeing that it would clearly have the same sad fate ten years from now as 80s music does today.

geographically undesirable: Someone you would like to date, but lives too far away.
Example: Nikki sure is hot, but she lives in the next state. That makes her geographically undesirable.

giveupmanship: Pertaining to the act of dropping out of an activity in a particularly notable fashion
Example: And in a truly remarkable display of giveupmanship, after running only 200 metres of the circuit, Steve walked off towards a refreshment stand and bought himself some chips

glich: A computer error that happens over and over again. Child of the words glitch and cliche.
Example: That kernel32 error is getting to be such a glich.

gloush: the action of getting soaked by a passing car hitting a large puddle
Example: i got completely ‘gloushed’ by that bus

goat eggs: a reaction to any highly unusual occurence
Example: He marveled at her sixth finger, Goat eggs!

God Bless Captain Fear!: Expression of relief when you realise that something you
backed out of due to sheer cowardice turned out to be dangerous and ill-advised after all.
Example: Did you see that scaffolding collapse? God Bless Captain Fear! I didn’t climb up it.

goinable: Able to go in.
Example: That doesn’t look too goinable.

gondersnatch: Person who unfailingly manages to become distracted or preoccupied by something trivial in the middle of doing something important. Especially one who also succeeds in getting himself injured while engaged in said inconsequential affairs.
Example: Would you quit being such a gondersnatch and get your eyes back on the road?

gray-bar land: Where you are when you are waiting so long for your computer to finish something that it has to display a progress bar on the screen.
Example: I would like to install this freeware, but I am still in gray-bar land waiting for it to download.

grimble: 1.Any movie in which, no matter how important the man’s job
(stopping an assasination, saving the universe, generally preserving life),
his wife does nothing but gripe about how it’s breaking the family up and that he missed little
Jimmy’s birthday again.
2. The act of a movie woman griping in this way.
Example: Sissy Spacek did nothing but grimble all the way through the movie _JFK_.

GRP moment: GRP is short for the much-needed phrase, Get a real problem. Useful when addressing or describing people or situations in which insignificant issues are being blown out of proportion. For example, when my fourth and fifth grade students complain about other students budging (Hey, is that an official word?) them in line, I tell them that it sounds like a GRP moment, because we are all going to the same place no matter where we are in the line.
Example: After the school principal spent twenty minutes describing the problems with the pop machines in the staff lounge,
several teachers suggested she might be having a GRP moment.

guest/guesting: To borrow someone else’s computer to go online.
Or: The phenomenon of being mistaken for someone else simply because you happen to have Instant Messenger while using her computer.
Example: I sent a really erotic instant message to my boyfriend, only to find out his 13-year old brother was guesting.

guff: Food, cleaning supplies, appliances, rooms, etc. that are common to everyone who lives in a (usually co-op) house. Also used as a verb or adjective. Non-guff refers to private property.
Example: Noun: The coat closet is filling up with guff; someone ought to donate all that crap. Adjective: Is that soymilk guff, or did someone just not put their name on them? If it’s not, it shouldn’t be in the guff refrigerator. Verb: Jon’s mom sent him a huge tin of peanut brittle, but he guffed it because it was disgusting.

GUTI: My entry for the pseudodictionary would be guti (pronounced goo’-tee). It is an acronym for Get Used To It. Whenever you have to learn to do something no matter how much you don’t want to do it, you just have to quit griping and guti! Being a teacher, this word comes in handy a lot during the school day.
Example: You must learn to write sentences using active voice. Guti! Use passive voice and you automatically get an F.

h3o: Describes tap water that is just barely drinkable, due to cloudiness or poor taste.
Example: Bob, if you’re thirsty, help yourself to a bottle of water from the fridge. The stuff that comes out of the tap is more like h3o.

haircut blog: A weblog that is filled with descriptions of mundane activities such as getting a haircut.
Example: Don’t bother reading that; it’s just a haircut blog.

halfway to assville: The middle of nowhere.

hand salsa: Sweat on mice and joysticks, produced by gaming.
Example: Ugh, he got hand salsa all over my mouse from too much Quakeing.

hangry: The state of anger and blind frustration experienced during prolonged periods of hunger.
Example: Don’t get too close to Jason, he hasn’t eaten and is very hangry.

hathos: the taking of pleasure or joy in despising something.
Example: That Styx concert footage was pure hathos.

he-hooters: Large male breasts, resembling those of a woman. Also known as man-boobs.
Example: He has a huge set of he-hooters.

Hirrcup: Cross between burp and hiccup – when you burp and hiccup.
Example: I think you drank that soda too fast; you’ll probably get the hirrcups.

hollywood parking: A free parking space directly in front of the store you want to visit.
Example: Hey, look! Hollywood parking–grab it!

Hollywood Tires \ Tyres: To have car tires screech for no apparent reason as they do in Hollywood movies–
when reversing from a car park, cornering at low speeds, driving on sand or dirt tracks
Example: (Tire screech) That guy must have bought those new Hollywood tires.

homoentendrephobia: The fear of expressing one’s self to a same-sex friend in a manner that could be interpreted as a sexual overture.
Example: I was interested in stopping at the roadside attraction known as The Mystery Hole, but my homoentendrephobia prevented me from suggesting it to Bob.

honkadory: A cute young boy (child).
Example: Where is my little honkadory?

honorary Q: When you’re at your friend’s house so much that you become part of their family
Example: Megan: Cindy’s always at Marisa’s. Kim: Don’t you know, she’s an honorary Q.

huddlepuff(s): Can be used as a noun or verb to describe the people/action of multiple smokers gathering at the same location to smoke, usually right outside an entrance way of a building, impeding your attempt to enter or exit. Inclement weather tends to increase their ranks.
Example: I was late getting to class/work/safety from a burning building because I had to navigate around/through all of the huddlepuffs.

hydroflout: (hi’dro falout) Getting hit in the face by the ice that was stuck to the inside bottom of a drinking glass when you tilt the galss bottom up while drinking.
Example: If you don’t shake your glass, you’re gonna get hydroflouted.

hypernavigate: To excessively direct the driver of a car, usually characteristic of backseat drivers. Example: If you’re driving to your house and it’s directly in front of you, saying Go straight is hypernavigation.

hypotenusing: Walking for minimum distance and maximum efficiency often entails diverging from the common path: to cut across, or to take the shortest cut of all short cuts.
Example: Why are you going across the field?
We’re hypotenusing.

I’d like to *verb* his *noun*: Base form for constructing sexual innuendo. Best effect is achieved by using the most innocent verb-noun combinations.
Example: I’d like to wash his car.

I’m doin’ cartwheels: used when you are expected to be excited but you could care less
Example: hey john , we’re going to grandma’s today ! oh , I’m doin cartwheels ! -John

idea hamster: A person who always appears to have his idea generators running.
Example: That new temp is so eager to please, he’s become an idea hamster.

Idiot Sandwich: a gathering or a meeting of fools sitting together having a stupid discussion
Example: the meeting b/w the backstreet boys and n’sync turned out to be an idiot sandwich

Imaginary Morning Sickness: (IMS) A woman pretending to feel ill in the morning so that her husband or boyfriend will be extra nice to her, like making a cup of coffee or breakfast.
Example: Sorry I’m late. My wife had IMS this morning.

impassenger: the person sitting in a car that tries to unlock the car door while another tries to open it from the outside. This results in the door remaining locked and entry into the vehicle still denied.

Impatience Fee: Additional cost of a product stemming from the buyer’s unwillingness to do the legwork to find a better price.
Example: I paid $85 dollars for those hubcaps, including a $45 impatience fee there, ‘cuz I’m sure I could have found them somewhere else for $40.

in-office holiday: A period of time in which an individual continues to arrive and leave work at normal hours, however, instead of performing expected duties, one pursues relaxing and otherwise personal interests. In-office holidays are not commonly requested, or even discussed with the management and are frequently kept confidential for obvious reasons (see: management).

incorrection: Any attemt (sic) made to correct something that is already correct.
Example: I hate it when he edits my articles, there are always so many incorrections.

infosmog: The overload of information (and hype) now available in the web environment which makes it so hard to efficiently find quality information.
Example: How do we find that needle of relevant information in the haystack of infosmog that surrounds us. – see

intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund–lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. (From the Washington Post Style Invitational, 1999)
Example: I was intaxicated only until I realized how long it had taken to get my refund.

investigetting: When you go to check out the community food in your office, intending to come back with a plateful.
Example: I caught Sheila investigetting in the kitchen; there was still half a birthday cake left.

It’s all Jesus: A phrase used to describe when something is all good
Example: Jane and I got in a fight but we made up and now it’s all Jesus

jam ass: To move with considerable speed. (From my stepbrother Garrett, who most likely does come from Salinas, CA. So does the word.)
Example: A. You should have seen us. We were jamming ass the whole way here.
B. If you visit Paramount’s Great America in Santa Clara, be sure to ask all the ride operators, Does this ride jam ass?
Especially the ones on foreign exchange from other countries.

jarjarred: To take something perfectly acceptable as is, and add to it something unnecessary and annoying.
(adjective) Jarjarred: Having annoying, superfluous features.
Example: Microsoft Word 2000 is so jarjarred up I can’t write a simple memo anymore.
I really hope George Lucas doesn’t jarjar up his next Star Wars movie.

jen-debt: 1. Any sum of money owed to you that will most likely never be paid.
2. A personal loan which is paid back so slowly, you may forget about it (which, of course, is the hope of the person who owes it to you).
Example: 1. Jim: Did Mark ever pay back that $50 you loaned him? Dan: Oh, hell no. It a jen-debt now. I’ll never see that money.
2. Dave owes me 400 bucks, but he’s only paid me $3 a week for the last 4 months. The jerk has made it a jen-debt.

jewish holiday: Days off (usually from school) when there is no real reason we know of to have a free day.
Example: Tomorrow we don’t have classes. I’m not sure why. Probably some Jewish holiday.

jirkus: A situation which can be compared to a circus full of performing jerks.
Example: Jane: Let’s go hang out at Jerry’s place.
Algernon: I don’t want to go to Jerry’s. It’s a jirkus.

jive turkey: One who sees herself as much cooler than she actually is.
Often used as an insult. Or just calling someone crazy.
Example: Did you see what he was wearing. He’s a jive turkey.
Hey, jive turkey, nice move.

jockfrost: Condition brought about from driving with a cold drink between your legs. Results in one very chilly nether area.
Example: This Mt. Dew gave me a bad case of jockfrost on the way over here.

Jorts: Jean shorts, not including cutoffs.
Example: Since it was so hot out, Justin decided to wear a pair of jorts instead of jeans.

Julember: Used when someone wants to pin you down to a particular date when something will be completed and you don’t want to give an exact date. It is surprising how often people don’t notice right away they’ve been bamboozled.
Example: Your new home should be ready to move into, some time in late Julember.

kangakazi: kangakazi (n) – a kangaroo that waits until a passing vehicle is guaranteed to hit it before attempting to hop across the road.
Example: my car was attacked by a kangakazi causing severe damage to the front end

Kano: When a girl shoots a guy down, or puts him in the friend zone, she is Kano. From Mortal Kombat, where Kano’s finishing move is to rip your heart out.)
Example: 1. How’d it go with Jenny? 2. She was Kano. Says she just wants to be friends with me.

Kaycee: Used when someone has pulled a hoax on a large, unsuspecting crowd. Why a Kaycee? A woman fooled tons of people on the Internet by pretending to be a young girl, Kaycee, who suffered from leukemia. This went on for a long time. Finally, Debbie killed Kaycee. People who felt they were Kaycee’s friends were really sad, but some of the curious did a bit of digging and found out that Kaycee never existed.

keeper of the speed: a motorist who makes it their personal mission to drive below the posted speed limit at all times, thereby ruining the commute of those motorists stuck behind
Example: I would have been here on time, but I got stuck behind a keeper of the speed doing 30 in a 45 zone.

kiboshilator: The individual who is putting an end to anything or situation.
Example: As the kiboshilator, I terminate without preduice.

kindernetzi: One who believes in and advocates the notion that all public net content should be family friendly.Specifically, one who believes that the realities of sex and drugs need to be kept hidden from kids for as long as possible.

klingons: Disgustingly lovey-dovey sweethearts, the kind who fawn over each other in public.
Example: Why don’cha get a room, ya klingons?

knockoverable: being in a place where something is easily knocked over
Example: The cup on the table is lookin’ a little knockoverable.

la de freaking da: This term is a response to be used when somebody tells you some insignificant piece of information that you couldn’t care less about.
Example: Paul – Hey, did you hear that Iggy Pop has a new album out?
Me – La de freaking da.

lame-inator: That person at a party or any other social gathering who is the first person to say no to a zany idea or want to go home.
Example: John, I can’t believe you, of all people, are being such a lame-inator. It’s only midnight.

land yacht: An extremely large car, especially from the 70s.
Example: The ’73 Cadillac is a land yacht.

landlard: The fathead landlord who won’t fix the heat.
Example: My apartment is freezing and the landlard won’t fix the heat.

Laundry Event Horizon: The state after which there is no longer any way to avoid doing laundry.Example: Jockeys are already inside out, t-shirt backwards and inside out,
laundry pile has crept out into the hallway. I’ve just passed the Laundry Event Horizon.

Learjet lefties: Politically liberal rich persons who criticise the capitalist system that they themselves exploit to accumulate their wealth.
Example: Did you hear how those Learjet lefties Ted Turner and Bono who want to write off Third World debt?

Left Handed Screwdriver: A thing we used to make freshmen go down and ask for from the machine shop to test their stupidity. Used now to describe a new product that performs the same basic function as the old product, but has a useless marketing feature.
Example: Wow, the new Ziploc bags have a yellow and blue zip stripe…sounds like nothing more than a left handed screwdriver. (Well actually, there is a function: the stripe turns green so you can tell the bag is sealed. Not a biggie, but it’s useful.)

Lickasourus: A large dog that can’t stop licking people.
Example: The lickasourus just got me.

like an ape to an empty shirt: When someone just seems to take to something,
getting on smoothly, fitting in perfectly, and having the time of her life
–yet in fact she is completely messing up the job.
Example: Jane took to her new job like an ape to an empty shirt.
It was her favourite job yet, but the company shut down within a week due to her imcompetence.

link farm: A person who can consistently produce, almost instantaneously, a URL related to any current topic of discussion; used especially during chat to make aware to the link farm himself,
that perhaps he spends way too much time on the internet.
Example: And: Did you ever see the Goonies?
Nad: Ooh yeah, look…
And: uh… thanks, link farm

Lotusize: Converting any raw data or information into a Lotus or other spread sheet. . Synonym: excelit.
Example: Take all that financial data and lotusize it.

luchismo: Adherence to a struggle for its own sake, rather than for the ostensible goal.
(Spanish lucha `struggle’)
Example: Though no longer a socialist, she kept going to the same protest rallies out of luchismo, looking for some new cause to march for.

Lukecold: The opposite of lukewarm–closer to cold than warm, but not *really* cold.
Example: Hey, is the beer still cold? Nah, it’s kinda lukecold.

lunch radius: The physical proximity of good lunch spots to one’s place of work,
typically referring the variety of decent lunches one can cycle without feeling gastronomically repititious.
Example: Hey, Roger, got a new job. Good money, great lunch radius.

macrobian: Someone who is eternally worried about grades below an A, to the point of nightmares.
The typical macrobian takes pure science, accelerated maths. and accounting (just in case).
Example: The macrobian sat crying, this was the lowest A+ she had ever received.

magic smoke: The stuff inside expensive electric things that you can smell if you accidentally zorch them on a
dry winter day. Once you let it out, that thing will never work again.
Example: I touched my Palm Pilot after shuffling across the rug,
and I think I let out the magic smoke because now it doesn’t work.

Magnum P.O.’d: Magnum pissed off–as pissed off as you can possibly be.
Example: She is Magnum P.O.’d at me.

mahkayooka: Contraction for my car, your car.
Used as a question when two people are trying to determine which car to take on a trip.
The first or second half of the word can be used as an answer.
Example: John and Tim walked out to the parking lot to go to lunch. Mahkayooka? asked Tim.
Mahka, answered John.
John and Tim walked out to the parking lot to go to lunch. Mahkayooka? ,asked Tim. Mahka, answered John.

making a sentence fancy: When you add an unecessary cuss word to a sentence.
Example: He’s a fucking asshole. Sorry, I had to make that sentence fancy because I am so upset.

mallet approach: used often in school. If you are unsure of an answer, you write an incredibly long answer that covers such a wide topic, you are sure to get the question right.
Example: I used the mallet approach on a social studies paper and wrote a six page answer.

man-chair: The always convenient, deftly placed chair for men to sit on and wait for their female counterparts to shop in a retail store.Often plush and unapologetically cushioned to keep men in one spot,complete with all other purchases of the day.
Example: Honey, I’ll meet you at the man-chair while you put on that blouse. Take your time.

man-in-the-window: Booger.
Example: Find a tissue, you have a man-in-the-window.

mandals: Bulky, strappy, sandals worn by men. European men wear them with socks.
Example: Phil could walk no further, as his new mandals had given him a blister.
If only he’d worn his socks!

manser: Man’s answer. A stupid answer given by a man to a simple question.
Example: When I asked my cousin about the kind of relationship he wanted, he replied, I want a short-term commitment.
Now if that’s not a manser, then I don’t know what is!

marketecture: A completely fictional architecture diagram of a company’s product, festooned with marketing buzzwords. Used to woo investors and customers.
Example: This marketecture diagram bears no resemblance to what we’re actually building.

mature moment: Usually applied to people over 40–a synonym for brain fade or synapse lapse. Forgetting something simple.
Example: I forgot milk at the store again. I must have had a mature moment.

MBA: Married But Available.
Example: He’s not just a lech he’s an MBA.

meatware: The people cost of an IT project.
Example: Hardware (computers), software (programs), and meatware (IT personnel) complete the IT triangle.

merlin: A gifted but lazy student who somehow manages to pass exams
without doing any work at all, as if by magic.
Example: A. Did Kurt pass his exam?
R. Yeah, he truly is merlin.

momspam: (varient: dadspam) the endless barrage of trivial emails sent by recently online mothers to their adult children. Momspam is the cyber-age equivalent of those envelopes full of newspaper clippings and unfunny comic strips your mother used to send you.
Example: examples of momspam are: unfunny forwarded internet humor, links to news articles and online birth and wedding anouncements, pictures of relatives and pets, chain letters & unfunny online comic strips.

moo juice: Milk.
Example: Pick up some milk, the moo juice has gone chunky.

monumenial: Monumenial — adjective; describes the state of having accumulated so many undone or incomplete inconsequential and/or trivial tasks that the doer is overwhelmed. These are tasks that individually would be no porblem, but collectively result in doer paralysis.
Example: I put off cleaning up the kitchen until eventually the job got monumenial and I had to hire help.

moofed: The annoying act of being disconnected from chatroom or any other online public forum.
Example: She’s been moofed again from the chatroom

Mousterbait: The wiggling of ones mouse in order to wake a computer from sleep mode.
Example: My screen went black so I mousterbaited to wake it up.

Mr. Pants: The person in charge, often used disparagingly.
Example: All right, Mr. Pants, I’ve had enough of this crap, I’m getting out of here.

Mule eating briars: A guilty person trying to look not guilty.
Example: He did it. He looks like a mule eating briars!

mumpie: Middle-aged upwardly mobile professional.
Example: I became a mumpie when I started graduate school at age 45.

musquirt: The liquid that first squirts out of a plastic mustard bottle when you first squeeze it that has no mustard in it, just juice.
Example: I tried to squirt a little mustard on my hot dog but all I got was some musquirt.

Nader: A dangerously designed car or thing.
Example: A: Do you remember the Suzuki Samurai’s that would flip over all the time?
I used to see those Naders with the bumper stickers upside down…
so you could read them when they flipped over!
B: We redesigned the C5 Corvette extensively. We didn’t want to make it a Nader.

nanatechnology: the effect of design completion by banana gas – usually manifested as ripening, but in this case applied to slightly broken things kept in a drawer for months in the hope that they will work again when you take them out next year sometime. Batteries and floppy disks are examples of things you’d put in a drawer instead of throwing away when they don’t work.
Example: *** note – this is cut ‘n’ pasted from my ‘Healing Drawers’ submission to halfbakery. jutta suggested I stick it here for posteriority. *

Napsterbation: Spending hours downloading songs you don’t even like, because you can
Example: In 3 hours of napsterbation, I got the complete works of the Partridge Family

narapoia: That uneasy feeling that you are unintentionally following someone.
Example: I drove my usual route home and there was a car in front of me the whole way.
I got such a bad case of narapoia, that I kept going past my house until it was safe.

nasodenial: The delusion shared by televised baseball players and motorists stopped in traffic that no one can see them publicly picking their noses.
Example: Ugh, the director groaned. Camera two, pan away. That outfielder is in serious nasodenial.

NBC: Nobody Cares.
Example: So she took you to the cleaners and also trashed your reputation? Dont you get it? NBC.

Needing a Taco: The state of being in which a person is taking him- or herself wayyyyy too seriously. Most commonly used in the context of love and romance. (Taken from the South Park cd Chef Aid in which Chef gives Meatloaf a taco because he gets carried away singing about Meredith Baxter-Birney.)
Example: Now that is a man in dire need of a taco!

negligeent: Describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Example: I can’t believe I was so negligeent that I answered the door for the FedEx guy wearing my naughty nightie.

Nekedwork(ing): Pronounced: (rapidly) Neck-Ed-Working. This word should be substituted in casual/business conversations about Networking. If asked what you said, insist you merely said networking.
Example: We need to add another port to the Nekedwork.

neotrad: Short for neo-traditionalist. One who tries to embody anachronistic behaviours or appearance.
Example: Where are all these neotrads coming from; there isn’t a retro shop in this town.

nerbie: Someone who is book smart, but street dumb
Example: Chris is such a nerbie

nerdvana: The infinite bliss of technical perfection.
Example: On configuring the final router, I reached nerdvana.

NERFAR: Acronym: Not Emotionally Ready For A Relationship.
Example: Sam wouldn’t go out with Jane. Said he didn’t have the time. Personally, I think he’s just NERFAR.

Nes: Neither yes nor no, a one word answer to get you out of trouble.
Example: Have you been throwing berries at cars, Jon? Nes.

nespa: Is that not so?–challenging the other person to contradict you.
Example: Yeah? Well, YOU were the one who wanted us to come here in the first place. Nespa?

network nazi: Term referring to IT support personnel, typically working for a large corporation, who impose arbitrary production-inhibiting rules about what software and hardware is allowed on the company LAN.
Example: The network nazis took out my CD-ROM drive because it was non-standard

nexialist: One who knows absolutely nothing about anything, but posts hyperlinks to data that support whatever his position of the day is.
Example: Uh oh, looks like we have another nexialist on the newsgroup.

nexting: The act of blindly clicking the Next buttons on software installation dialogs.
Example: I’m nexting through the dialogs. I hope it installs right.

nibling: Gender-neutral term for niece or nephew
Example: My sister’s three daughters and her son are my four niblings.

nicotime: The years added to someone’s appearance because of a long smoking habit.
Example: Her ID says she’s 27 but she looks 40 because of nicotime.

night monkey: Going out in to the middle of the night and running around like an idiot to get rid of one’s nervous energy.
Example: We’ve been working on this project for 15 hours straight and I can’t sit still any more.
Let’s night monkey.

nintendicide: Intentionally killing yourself in a video game so you can go do something else that is deemed more important.
Example: I had to commit nintendicide last night because my parents insisted I call it a night and my lousy game doesn’t allow for saves.

no brakes: 1. Still trying when everyone knows the situation is futile.
2. Unable to stop.
3. A psychotic belief that the next time one will be successful.
Example: Bob: Why did Jack send flowers to Betty?
Billy: No brakes.
2. Jim has no brakes–that’s why he keeps plaing that video game.

nodstrip: the safety grooves along the highwat intended to awaken sleeping drivers who stray too close to the shoulder. also see: bumhummer
Example: i like to drive along the nodstrip.

non-heinous: Good (or, more literally, not bad). One of the few Bill and Ted words that never caught on.
Example: That trip we took through time and space was most non-heinous.

nongnong: A person who is smart but they do stupid things.
Example: Rachel is such a nongnong, she got had an A in Sociology but she woke up late and missed the final.

NORF: No Observable Redeeming Features.
Example: The suggestion made by the Gov’t man was another NORF.

not spot: a place where 1 and/or more persons should NOT be
Example: This is your not spot.

not-: Prefix used before a person’s name to create a new name applied to a different person who looks similar.
Example: Ed: Hey, look over there, it’s not-Ted.
Ted: Haha, I should go talk to him. It would probably look funny, the two of us.
People would think we were twins or something.

notwork: The system in place when you must have some online project finished today.
Example: Oh, no, the notwork is down again!!

nudge-wink network: Web sites that supply illegal material (warez, MP3s, etc.) regarded as a single source.
Example: I’ve been playing Grand Theft Auto non-stop since I found it on the nudge-wink network.

nukeorphan: Forgotten things in the microwave.
Example: I forgot the chicken in the microwave. Oh, the poor nukeorphan.

nurgle: Verb encompassing the act of entering a shop and walking around
looking at stuff but with no intention of actually buying anything.
Example: A. Can I help you with anything? C. No thanks, we’re just nurgling.

O-Dark Thirty: a ridiculously early hour in the morning
Example: We will meet in front of the hotel at O-dark thirty…and then we will take the subway to the race start

off like a prom dress: similar to gotta jet this phrase means to leave somewhere very quickly with speed matching that of prom dress removal at a post-prom party
Example: Talk to ya later, I’m off like a prom dress

Oinkarific: Really good.
Example: That game looks oinkarific.

oka-ba: the actual words are okay, bye, but instead, you put them together and say it really fast. Try it, say it fast and keep repeating it. All phone conversations with my friends end with this. No seeya or later, just oka-ba.

on terms: To be neither on particularly good terms with someone, nor on particularly bad terms with them.
Example: I might be able to borrow money from Steve–I’m on terms with him.

on wheels: Adjective phrase added to the end of a description to enhance it.
Example: Darlene is one heinous bitch on wheels. This pie is heaven on wheels.

one shy of a turkey: When somebody asks how you feel and you’re not too good you can say, One shy of a turkey.
Comes from bowling, where a turkey is three strikes in a row.
If you get two strikes and on the third you leave one pin standing you are one shy of a turkey
and you don’t feel so hot afterwards.
Example: Q: How you feelin’ morning?
A: Oh, one shy of a turkey.

onion-ringer: Something that makes you cry a LOT.
Example: Well, have you ever seen the movie _Armageddon_? That’s the ultimate onion-ringer.

out of one’s catapult: Out of one’s mind.
Example: You’re out of your catapult, Madam.

outsert: the opposite of insert.
Example: when asked how long my cooking spoon was, i had to outsert my mind from the gutter to give a non-sexual answer.

p2c2e: A process too complicated to explain. From Salman Rushdie’s _Haroun and the Sea of Stories_.
Example: How the atom can be split using a toaster and a household drill? Well, I’m afraid that’s a p2c2e.

pacify: Military lingo for securing a hostile area, usually by killing the hostiles therein.
Example: We pacified the landing zone and brought the choppers in.

pagonged: To reduce in count or get rid of one by one, as the Tagi tribe did to the Pagong in the first season of Survivor. A Survivor fan’s word.
Example: Looks like Rodger’ll be next to get pagonged.

painple: A zit that hurts but doesn’t show yet.
Example: Gotta buy some Clearasil for my painple or I’m going to have a crater on my forehead in a couple of days.

pajamaficate: the act of putting pajamas on kids when its bedtime also pajamafy, pajamafication
Example: Ok kids..time to pajamaficate

palligator: A supposed friend who takes advantage of you.
Example: I no longer trust her; she’s a palligator.

Palm-Salsa: Hand sweat
Example: I’ve got serious Palm-Salsa going on here from my mouse

parenthesizer: Someone who is prone to using parentheses far too often in his or her writing, often inturrupting the main point of the sentence before its conclusion.
Example: Jeff never finishes sentences in his email…he’s a parenthesizer.

parkma: Parking karma–the ability to find a parking space in the busiest parking lot or city street.
Example: He’s got parkma. Can you believe he found a parking spot right in front of the store during the Christmas holidays?

pass me an oar: Used to indicate you are in the same boat with someone.
Example: Heather: I didn’t get any sleep last night.
Kim: Pass me an oar.

pastry shop / pastry shopping: verb – when some (man) goes out specifically to pick up men or boys at less than classy places
Example: Rory turned his cell phone off – he’s out pastry shopping and he doesn’t want to be disturbed

Patridiot: A person who rabidly patriotic to the point of idiocy. Any body whose sole reaction to 9/11/01 was buying and displaying an american flag on their SUV
Example: W’s speech at ground zero really frothed-up all those patridiots.

PBS: Post Burrito Syndrome. Used to describe the onset of gastrointestinal discomfort immediately following
the consumption of a large burrito.
Usually used after a trip to the San Francisco Mission District.
Example: Oooooh, I’ve got PBS.

PEBCAC: Acronym for, Problem Exist Between Chair And Computer.
Example: Computer Technicians find that 90 percent of all computer problems are some form of PEBCAC.

pedophobe: A person who fears children.
Example: The pedophobe shivered when he saw children playing outside.

percuburp: Percuburp is the sputtering sound the coffee pot makes when
it tries to send the last of the water through to brew.
Example: The coffee is ready, didn’t you hear it percuburp?

percussive maintainence: The suprisingly successful technique of trying to fix something by hitting it.
Example: The TV wasn’t working, but I did a bit of percussive maintainance on it and now it’s fine.

Permanti Style: Adding cole slaw and french fries to any kind of sandwich.
Originating from the Permanti Bros. restaurant in Pittsburgh, PA
Example: Just mind your own business. I’m making my sandwich Permanti Style today.

personalities: Any other word for breasts.
Example: I’m only after girls with nice personalities. Yeah, look at the personalities on her

PFM: Pure Freaking Magic. Used by the computer elite when something is too cutting edge
to be understood even in their own circles. (Coined by the boys at
Example: We understood the FSAA, but 8-layer single pass multi-texturing? That’s just PFM.

Phantom-of-the-water-cooler: A terminated employee who insists on sneaking back into a workplace and visiting with ex-employees.
Example: My boss had a strict policy on preventing Phantoms-of-the water-coolers at my worksite.

pharmarrhea: The dense, pseudo-medico-legal boilerplate that appears at the end of commercials or advertisements for prescription drugs, advising consumers of the risks. Always ends with the phrase Use only as directed.
Example: That might be just what I need for my low self-esteem, said John. I don’t know, Julia fretted,
did you read any of the pharmarrhea? She pointed to one particular sentence of the tiny type: 44% of test subjects experienced spontaneous hair failure, compared with 7% who received a placebo.

phlalamascalang: Inappropriate music played before a rock gig by the venue;
inappropriateness varies proportionately to the lateness of the band.
Example: They Might Be Giants were late on stage in Houston,
and the endless samba music was driving the crowd up the wall.
Why not play some TMBG records, instead of this awful phlalamascalang?

Phlophinay: A phlophinay has been commited when someone almost says or does a very stupid or ridiculous thing but catches herself before actually doing it–thus saving herself a bit of embarassment–only to immediately tell everyone about the stupid thing
she almost said or did.
Example: Cleo broke up with Tony because he almost called her by his ex-girlfriend’s name and was foolish enough to then tell her about his near Freudian-slip. What a phlophinay on his part.

phooey boo: To show disappointment.
Example: Phooey boo on you, duck. You stole my piece of bread.

Pickin’ a fruit from the rando: Used when someone says something in conversation that has
nothing to do with what you are talking about.
Example: Where did that come from? You are totally pickin’ a fruit from the random tree.

pity party: A gathering of two or more people in which those present share their miseries and feel sorry for each other.
Example: I just got a ding in my car, you broke your nail, and Mike just got an A- (instead of his usual A) on his exam. I guess we should just all get together and have a pity party.

pizza-envy: The covetousness you feel when the gluttonous person you bought a pizza with keeps selecting bigger pieces than you.
Example: Hey! Stop taking the bigger pieces of pizza! You’re giving me a massive case of pizza envy.

please-e-asaur: A bratty little brother who never stops asking for things.
Example: My little brother Jerad won’t quit being a please-e-asuar.

plug-inski: something that uses a template or formula, therefore minimizing the amount of brain-effort required for the task.
Example: Here’s the new content, here’s the template to use — it’s plug-inski.

Pluntan: A fake suntan.
Example: Suntan cream will give you a pluntan.

pocket billiards: subtle rearrangement of male parts in a public place
Example: i was sitting awkwardly, in considerable discomfort. a quick game of pocket billiards soon solved the problem

pock: 1. Kind shorthand for I completely like and respect you, maybe even love you, but you must please leave me alone right now, no questions asked. Especially appropriate when the other person is visiting your turf — your dorm room, office, etc.
2. To leave immediately after hearing a pock request, without bearing the speaker any ill will.
Example: (Your friend Bill is yakking while you’re trying to finish your taxes.) You: Um, Bill? …Pock. (Bill nods and walks out without feeling offended.)

polibot: Political commentator who stays strictly party line, who never has a creative thought.
Example: I figure the shell script to generate that polibot’s newspaper columns would run 50, maybe 60 lines max.

pop the stack: To revert back to previous topic in a conversation that has wandered across many subjects.
Borrowed from computer science, similar in meaning to backlist.
Example: I told Joan about the interesting factoid I heard on the radio, we got to talking about about
other radio stations, then advertising, and then Gap. Then she popped the stack and asked me about what radio program I was listening to.

porno: A short public service or self-help video. Features low quality music and acting and a wardrobe that is noticeably out of style. Usually seen in high school, college, and government buildings
Example: I was in Consumer Economics today and we had to watch a porno on supply and demand.

poto: Pointing Out The Obvious.
Example: I’m POTOing here, but your hair is on fire.

powerchat: When you engage in a conversation with a friend or colleague with whom you share so many cultural
references that you can use shortcuts rather than explain stuff.
Analogous to computer power users, who use keyboard commands rather than menu commands for
complex and esoteric functions.
Example: Jill and I had a great powerchat the other day.

pr0n (sometimes pron): Alternative spelling of porn. This word is used to bypass adult filters, which have since been configured to notice the word pr0n as well as the word porn. People still use it because it looks hip, which, translated, means it looks really stupid and uneducated.
Example: sum1 hook me up wit sum BRITNEY SPEARZ PR0N W00T W00T!

prairie-doggin’: You work in a large office, open except for dividers separating work spaces. Somebody drops something or screams…and several people stand so they can pop their heads up over the partition to see what’s happenin’. That’s prairie-doggin’.
Example: How we gonna prairie dog if the get rid of the cubicles?

pregnant chad: 1. a punch card hole with a depression, but not completely punched out. 2. a guy with a beer belly/ a beer belly
Example: He’s cute, except for his pregnant chad.

pregnatism: the magnetic force that attracts female co-workers to rub the belly of a pregnant colleague.
Example: Sally radiated enough pregnatism to lure ten co-workers into orbit.

premature enterjaculation: Accidentallly hitting’enter on your keyboard (or send button) when using chat or instant message before you’ve finished typing.
Example: Steve had a premature enterjaculation when messaging Tonya. His message said, Thanks for the piz.

prepone: to reschedule a meeting or event for an earlier time
Example: Can we prepone the meeting from 7 to 6?

Princess Leia: From the character in Star Wars that can be subdued by three foot high teddy bears, but can strangle a 6’5 Storm Trooper with her bare hands when there’s nobody around to rescue her. A person (usually female) who appears completely ineffective and useless until the pressure is on and then they turn into Rambo.
Example: Give the work to Princess Leia, but don’t expect a single line of code before the due date.

Privial Pursuit: The act of looking for a restroom in an unfamiliar mall, office building, etc.
Example: Would you care to join me in a privial pursuit? Looks like she’s off on a privial pursuit.

procrapstination: Procrastination while relocating–specifically, avoiding packing when you realize how much crap you have and try to figure out how much of it you can leave behind.
Example: After much procrapstination, Chris decided it would not be necessary to take along his entire scrap metal collection

Procrastinitis: Condition in which employees or students are absent the day before an important project is due, inherently due to them putting the work off until the last possible minute.
Example: The student, stricken with Procrastinitis, remained home to finish the 4 page essay (the day before it was due).

proof battleships: When two sub-editors or designers mark things as a mistakes or bad style on each others’ proof pages purely as retaliation for marking something reasonable on theirs earlier.
Also known as proof jousting. Partly derived from calendar battleships–
two people exchanging salvos of dates in an attempt to agree a meeting,
either business or social.
Example: Honestly, I was playing proof battleships with Tom all day yesterday. What a waste of time.

pseudodate: A maybe date. Could be considered a real date or just hanging out together,
depending on how it goes.
Example: I’d have talked to him, if I hadn’t been on a pseudodate with that loser, Chris.

psychic e-mail: When you think I must call X and then X calls you at that moment.
You’ve obviously sent her a psychic e-mail.
Example: God, it was so weird. I was sending psychic e-mail all day.

pull a John Hughes: To pull a John Hughes is to be needlessly concerned about the results of a test everyone else knows you aced.
John was known to be extremely smart, but he was always saying after an exam, I know I got an F. Fellow students, in a sort of John Hughes Fan Club, had green sweat shirts (John must have had about forty, because he almost always wore one.) made up that had I know I got an F printed on them. Marshalltown, IA, circa 1981.
Example: I know I got an F. C’mon, Jack. You tryin’ to pull a John Hughes? Everyone knows you didn’t get a single answer wrong.

puma: a young girl at a bar who is aggressively seeking affection
Example: That puma was all over you.

put my name in: Used by a guy to alert his buddies of his interest in a given female.
Example: Mary is quite attractive. I may just have to put my name in.

quasipology: Pretending to apologize to someone, but in reality only justifying the actions you should be apologizing for.
Example: After the meeting, Dave came up to me and started to say he was sorry for shafting my project and lying to the manager about it. But then he just quasipologized instead and said he’s had problems like this before, so he has reason to be paranoid and he has to take preemptive measures because I might’ve done something wrong later. For about five seconds, I thought he’d actually apologized.

Queego: saying, Could we go (insert place)
Example: hey, queego dairy queen?

Questrogen: The search for the perfect woman
Example: He is on a never-ending Questrogen.

quick goat thinking: The process of ultra-fast problem solving in a dire situation. Others cannot comprehend how you achieved the results.
Example: I used my quick goat thinking when my car wouldn’t start. I bypassed the key start and used a screwdriver to short out the terminals on my starter.

qwerty: (adj., origin unknown; not original) So tired that one’s face drops onto the keyboard, typing qwerty.
Example: After pulling three all-nighters in a row, the web designer knew that no amount of caffeine would save her from becoming qwerty.

r-mail: Short for reality mail, i.e. physical transportation of material objects for communication purposes.
Used in contrast to e-mail.
Example: I prefer to r-mail my parents when I ask for money,
because then it’s harder for them to copy my original message into their reply.

R.I.Q.: Room Intelligence Quotient Originally from the stand-up comedy subculture. The level of intelligence of an audience or group. Typically used as a pejorative term to indicate that you will have to do material that appeals to the lowest common denominator. Can be used in any group situation, especially business meetings.
Example: He spent his entire set doing West Virginia sister and wife jokes. That should tell you what the R.I.Q. is.
Speak slowly when you give your presentation–I have a bad feeling about the R.I.Q.

racoculous: (adj) Extremely ridiculous.
Example: The fact that this word isn’t being used worldwide yet is racoculous.

Radio Shack: A particularly uptight techno-dweeb.
Example: Hey, Radio Shack, why don’t you stick to troubleshooting the network?

ragemeister: Rage master; one who has learned which buttons to push to cause rage in another.
Example: She loved to play ragemeister and push his jealousy button to mess with his mind.
Everyone has at least one ragemeister.

rainbox: The shower.
Example: I stink. To the rainbox I go.

Ralph: To ralph is to vomit.
By uncanny concidence, pronouncing ralph in a long, drawn out fashion sounds like the
sound made by someone vomiting
Example: Charlie drank too many midis and is having a ralph in the garden.

ralphichax: The thing that happens when a person vomits and people around him react to it by vomiting also.
Example: When Willie puked after his 10th shot of Jim Beam, the ralphichax was unprecedented.

Real People: An entertainment industry term used in casting, meaning a non-actor. We hire them when we don’t want a polished, trained professional performer.
Example: In this commercial we want to use real people, not actors.
We want you to cast for this scene on the street–get us some real people.

rebunking: Reviving the reputation of something that has been debunked.
Example: The theory of multiple universes has been rebunked.

Reginald Molehusband: Name given to a person who is determined to fit his or her car, van, or bike into an incredibly tight space.
Example: That Reginald Molehusband’ll have a job getting in that space.

relationslut: A relationship-junkie incapable of surviving life as a single. Characterised by an over-willingness to settle for any lifeform with two legs and a pulse. Can often be located in cheap pubs and under damp bridges dissecting what went wrong with the previous relationship. Habits include confiding in nearly every stranger who passes by, in hope of receiving an illuminating piece of advice that will instantaneously solve all self-created problems.
Example: Why, yes, a blow-up doll is a perfect substitute until you find another boyfriend. And no, honey, you aren’t a relationslut.

remifluxion: The act of hearing somebody mention something that triggers you to remember
something you had once learned or saw, but had since totally forgotten.
Example: Steven brought up an episode of Pee Wee’s Playhouse
and I had a total episode of remifluxion, I hadn’t thought of it in so long.

resando: The feeling of regret or sadness that comes after waking from a pleasurable dream that one wishes to have been real.
Example: When Jonathan awoke from his dream of having inherited millions of dollars from an obscure relative and realized it was only a dream, the only word to describe the feeling that overcame him was resando.

residual girlfriend: Noun, feminine variant. The remains of a previous girlfriend that still seem to linger about your present beaus heart and apartment. Masculinine variant: residual boyfriend.
Example: He talks about his residual girlfriend non-stop. Its like being a third wheel in my own relationship. I was going thru his closet and found an old bra. Residual girlfriend strikes again.

Retarded-cool: Being briefly cool during its time, then deemed stupid by the mass populus only to come back 10 years later as kitsch.
Example: I love Vengaboys–it’s totally retarded-cool.

retirement zombie: Someone who retires without first sorting out a life for herelf thereafter.
Result–retirement zombies wander the streets aimlessly, usually accosting former colleagues and boring them to death with chat about the old days.
Example: Watch, out Chris’s coming–he’s the worst of this year’s crop of retirement zombies.

rhubarb: Word used to describe anywhere you didn’t originally intend to be, usually a roadside ditch or somewhere off of a sled or ATV trail. Occasionally, rhubarb functions as a verb.
Example: He got goin’ too fast and put ‘er in the rhubarb or He got goin’ too fast and rhubarbed ‘er.

ridorkulous: Ridiculously dorky.
Example: You look ridorkulous in that gorilla suit.

rinse & repeat: To act in an extremely anal-retentive way, such as following directions word for word, and doing everything by the book.
(Lather. Rinse. Repeat.) Can be used in several ways.
To describe someone: rinse & repeater.
To use in the immediate sense of the word: rinse & repeat(ing).
Example: Dave is a rinse & repeater when it comes to dinnertime. Heaven forbid anyone pass food to the left.
Quit rinse & repeating, and start the car. You’ve already done two walkarounds, and checked the air pressure in all of the tires!

road booger: An accumulation of ice and snow in the wheel well of a car or truck.
This is a winter phenomenon, generally in the northern U.S. and Canada.
Example: That there’s a rilly big road booger on yer truck.
Ya want me to kick it off?

rocks-for-jocks: Geology 101 in any undergraduate program.
Thought to be the easiest the science requirements.
Example: He’s unable to count his fingers without giving himself a hemorrhage,
so he took rocks-for-jocks as his science.

Rotten Ronnie’s: MacDonald’s, not in favour of.
Example: Where do you wanna go for lunch? Anywhere but Rotten Ronnies.

royal sampler: A collection of objects that are all different; typically implies that they are more-or-less useless.
Example: I found a royal sampler of video adapters at Radio Shack, but there was nothing to convert from RCA to coaxial.

rude o’clock: 1. Ridiculously early in the morning. 2. Any time before I get up
Example: What are you ringing me for? It’s rude o’clock!

runnerbunny: An imaginary prey, especially one which presents itself at times inappropriate for pursuit.
Example: His new kitten was a delight, except whilst chasing runnerbunnies at 4:00 AM.

rushmore: The one thing you’re perfect for or is perfect for you. A rushmore is the one thing that you’re good at and should do it for the rest of your life. If your rushmore is a person, that’s the person you should spend the rest of your life with.
Example: She’s my rushmore, Max.

saffronious: Hard to get, over-priced, over-rated, and completely unnecessary.
Example: I finally found that Neil Sadaka demo tape on Ebay…it’s saffronious.

salad dodger: An obese person.
Example: What does she look like? Well, she’s a bit of a salad dodger.

Salt: Persons, male or female, who happen to interfere with someone else picking-up one of the opposite sex–the object. They can, but are not limited to, being salt if they really suck, or by flat out being a dork (which results in that dorkiness reflecting on you in an unfavorable manner),
or they can be tactless and say something stupid that offends the object, or they can perhaps be a friend of a friend of a girlfriend–which could obviously be detrimental to the game in play.
Example: I don’t want Chris to come with us. He is nothing but salt. OR If perhaps your buddy walks up and says anything dumb while you are talking to a lady. After she is gone you can point to him, shake your head, and say, Salt, thereby referring to his salty behavior and calling him salt.

sarcestion: Sarcastic inquiry made without expecting an answer.
Example: I asked him a sarcestion and he actually gave me an answer.

sausage overload: Said to be unfavorable. Occurs on a Saturday night when you and your two cronies just add to the non-existing girl-guy party ratio.
Example: After a brief observation, Karl discreetly brings to Anthony’s attention that the party is supporting a major sausage overload.

scarf, scarfing: Scarf: Noun. Used in the pizza delivery business. 1. A delivery driver who recognizes a particular customer address which is known to give a good tip (gratuity) to the delivery driver, and steals that delivery run from the driver to whom it belongs.
2. One who steals runs just so he will have more deliveries (thus, more money at the end of the night).

Scarf: Verb. to steal delivery runs
Scarfing: The act of stealing runs

Scarfer: One who scarfs.
Example: You’ve got to watch Chris–he’ll scarf your runs.

There goes Bill, scarfing another run!

schlockjob (verb): To advertise a job opening as one thing or to have one set of requirements–only for the applicant to find out the job is nowhere like what was described on the internet or in the newspaper.
Example: Bobbi soon found out that she had been schlockjobbed
the moment she began talking to the alien-like human resources person.

science project: The tupperware container in the back of the fridge that has been there so long that you have no idea what is inside and are terrified to find out.
Example: Honey, how long has this science project been back here?

scope ‘n hope: v. – to scan a crowd, looking for a potential love interest.
Example: The singles retreat at my church was spiritually uplifting — and a major scope ‘n hope!

Screensaver mode: having a glazed look in your eyes as you perform your daily tasks
Example: Vito was in Screensaver mode after his heavy lunch.

Sea Monkeys: From Douglas Coupland’s Microserfs. Something that seems unbelievably fun, but in the end winds up as a cruel, bitter letdown upon arrival.
Example: This new publication was expected to be groundbreaking, but in the end, it was just Sea Monkeys.

seagull manager: Boss who shows up randomly, makes a lot of noise, messes up eveything…and then leaves.
Example: (name) is a seagull manager. I wish he’d just travel all the time. (Make seagull cawing noises to warn of manager’s arrival.)iving

selective infictionation: The illogical refusal to accept certain principles of fiction whilst accepting other, more unlikely, principles
Example: He infictionated ‘Superman the Movie’ by accepting the guy could fly but refusing to believe Lois Lane would never recognise him!

SEP: Someone Else’s Problem. Something you don’t have to worry about, because responsibility for it belongs to someone else.
Example: A. Oh, no! There’s a huge load of customers that walked into the door!
B. I’ve signed out and changed clothes. SEP.

seven four seven (747): When a conversation topic, joke, etc. goes straight over your head–
as a Boeing 747 does. Useful when you don’t have a clue what’s going on.
Example: I didn’t get it. It was a 747 to me.

severious: severly serious
Example: this is a severious matter, damn-it.

sexile: To force your roommate to leave so you can have annoying, noisy sex.
Example: Andy: Jeff, why are you sleeping in the student lounge? Jeff: Got sexiled. Again.

SF49: Anything that grows from small to huge very rapidly. From the growth of San Francisco in the 1849 Gold Rush from 1000 to over 100,000 people in a few months.
Example: Yahoo went SF49. Hey, Tom, if you gobble down any more of that pizza, you gonna go SF49.

Shaboose: To take something from someone when they have asked you if you want some before going to get it–and you declined.
The best description is when you ask your friend I am going to get a burger and fries,
you want something? they decline, but when you return,
they take a substantial portion (more than a couple of fries).
Shabooser, shaboosee, shaboosist, shaboosing, shaboosable.
Example: If I had known you were going to shaboose my potato salad, I would have got more for you.

shacket: A piece of clothing that is both a shirt and a jacket. Perfect for nights that are not too cold or hot.
Example: That is a nice shacket.

shake a tower: Take a shower.
Example: I got really dirty playing football. I’m going to go shake a tower.

shame train: The bus.
Example: My car broke down so I’m taking the shame train this week.

shappy: Being both shocked and happy at the same time.
Example: Yes, Mallory, when you told me you were marrying Nick, I was very shappy for you.

shasta: An average to ugly-looking person that you’d sleep with anyway if nothing better is around.
From the cheap soft drink Shasta. You’ll still drink it if there isn’t anything better around.
Example: The chick that Greg took home is shasta. Must have been a slow night at the bar.

sheepdoggin: When one attemps to coherse a group of people into an action by gentle prodding.
Example: Everyone was so unmotivated i wound up sheepdoggin us over to the bar for wings and beer. Hey do what you want, i aint gonna sheepdog tonight. Ok who’s sheepdoggin tonight?

shelf: The stomach when it has become enlarged to the point of being an appendage.
Example: You dropped some food on your shelf.

Shibbytastic: Adjective meaning cool, brilliant, wonderful, fantastic, shibby. More exhuberant way of saying either of these. Derived from the words shibby and fantastic.
Example: Wow, I just had the most shibbytastic day!

shippleshanks: When someone has done something outstanding for you….and you want to
thank them three times. Shippleshanks = triple thanks.
Example: Shippleshanks for paying for the movie.

shootin’ sheep: Suffering from insomnia. When counting the sheep doesn’t work, thin their numbers.
Example: Jim: Where’s Greg gone to?
Tom: Oh, he’s just shootin’ sheep in his room.

Shot Nazi: Individual(s) who has a strong desire to force shots of alcohol upon everyone else. This happens more often when the recipient does not wish to drink.
Example: I’ve had 12 beers and two whiskey sours, so tell that shot nazi to stop buying me pucker shots.

shump: 1. the stuff remaining in a salad bowl after having completed eating the salad.
2. Worthless or nonsensical collection of objects.
Example: There was a huge amount of shump in the closet.

Shunk: To stuff something into something anyway even though it doesn’t quite fit.
[Cf. Procrustes, procrustean.]
The word has even more meaning when lubrication would normally be used but was forgone.
Example: I watched as Billy tried to shunk the puzzle piece into the puzzle.

sidewalk sale: The collection of people hanging outside a club after it closes, hoping to get a date to finish off their evening.
Example: There was this cute guy there at the sidewalk sale, but someone else walked up to him before I got up my nerve.

SIDS: Standing In Doorways Syndrome. This refers to those inconsiderate people who choose a doorway or other restricted area to stop and have a conversation or otherwise hold up the traffic.
Example: I’m sorry I’m late but I was held up by a load of SIDS in the shops.

sin-laws: The parent or parents of a person you are living-in-sin (cohabitating, shacking-up) with.
Example: I have to go over my sin-laws’ house this weekend with Suzie.

Skanktastic: A girl you know you should stay away from but you can’t help yourself.
Example: I know I shouldn’t go out with Betty, but she sure is skanktastic.

skeptimistic: Skeptical + optimistic. Optimistic, but with a bit of skepticism thrown in.
Example: Our team’s pretty good, but I’m a bit skeptimistic about their chances of beating Jenks.

Skiffy: A proper pronunciation of the horrible, abbreviated, and improper reference to science fiction, Sci-Fi. (Originated by members of the Seattle’s Northwest Science Fiction Society, 1976) [ED. As every proper science fiction fan knows, the correct abbreviation for science fiction is SF.}
Example: After work, want to go see a skiffy flick?

skittle: An extremely inconspicuous act of revenge that results in no real harm done, but nevertheless provides the person seeking revenge with a sense of satisfaction.
Example: Tom forgot to take the trash out, so I left him a skittle–I moved the bookmark seven pages in the book he’s reading.

skmath: n. a generic term for people who work at fast food restaurants to help finance their post secondary education.
Example: lets go to pita pit and visit skmath!

skull drag: A tedious and boring task.
Example: That Web site functionality meeting was a real skull drag…I could hardly stay awake.

skycastles: Nominally non-conformist. Descriptive of a person who, in his or her attempt to be original, has simply shifted group affiliations (e.e.c many goths, punks, bikers, or whiggers). Comes from the phrase building castles in the sky.
Example: Chris: Did you see Jerry? What’s with the spiked hair? I thought he liked 60s rock.
John: Man, Jerry’s gone all skycastles.

slapping the cobra: Provoking someone or something. From going to the zoo and slapping the glass of the cobra cage to see if it will put its hood up and spit.
Example: Every time I see that 20-year old twit, Amber, I feel like slapping the cobra.

slashdot: v. to generate enough activity to bring a system to it’s knees, specifically a webserver. From the site, whose news stories are links to other sites, which then almost immediately bog down.
Example: I was going to read that cool article, but the site’s slashdotted. Anywhere there’s a natural disaster and relatives try to call loved ones, the phone system gets slashdotted.

slipcake: At NIU (Northern Illinois) they have cheese cake and just about anyone who gets it ends up dropping it on the floor.
Example: As I saw him pick a piece of slipcake my friends and I started laughing because we knew he was going to drop it.

slobberknocker: a great battle b/w two equal forces (often used to describe wrestling matches)
Example: Lennox Lewis vs. Mike Tyson would be quite a slobberknocker.

slurd: That nasty triangular frozen slush blob that gathers behind the wheels and up under the fenders of cars.
But not in Vancouver, I suppose.
Example: It is best to kick off your slurds in someone else’s driveway.

Smackeroonie: A bad surprise.
Example: Gertrude had a smackeroonie when she got home to find her cat on fire.

smallerize: fx of the left-most window control button on the title bar, also flat-line
Example: Click this button to smallerize the Excel file window.

Smartacus: A male who is smart…and suave, courageous, charming in any way. Frequently used in a flirty way to gently tease. It can also replace the word smartass, when said using a sarcastic tone.
Example: Hey there, Smartacus. Whatcha readin’? OR Shutup, Smartacus! Paris is NOT the capital of Algeria!

smerk: To take an exam or final knowing you’ll fail, but not being bothered because you did so well on the coursework that you’ll still pass a class.
Example: The administration has not yet given me a convincing reason not to smerk my way through this huge exam.

smeventy-smeven: A conversation where two people stimulate each other intellectually and creatively in a way that feels almost sexual, but isn’t explicitly sexual at all.
Example: I caught Joan on ICQ last night and we had a little smeventy-smeven about arcologies and how they would work. It was great.

smexy: Intellectually sexy. Sexy in a way that is divorced from one’s body.
Example: Joan was an exciting, lively chat-room conversationalist, with an active and creative mind. Billy found her quite smexy.

snail jockey: A mailman. (From snail mail)
Example: My dog bit the snail jockey yesterday, so I’ll be using e-mail exclusively for a while.

Snakes: Family slang term for money–because dollars, like snakes, are hard to hold on to.
Example: I want to go to the store, but I’m all out of snakes.

snapoutofitism: The belief that depressed people choose to be depressed and could simply stop at will.
Example: We’d see a whole lot less snapoutofitism from you if you had half the problems she does.

snard: Situation Normal, Another Rotten Day.

sneezure: Sudden, uncontrollable sneeze
Example: Having a sneezure while driving a car is very dangerous.

sniffertunity: A canine-activity/behaviour specific to dogs whose leading organ is their nose.
Example: When I take my dog, Georgie, for a walk, she never misses a sniffertunity to hunt up garbage or some other indelicacy to eat.

Snorgasm: when a person finally sneezes after several false starts.
Example: I’ll tell you how I caught this cold–an inconsiderate woman sitting next to me on the bus didn’t cover her proboscis before her snorgasm.

sockpuppet: A cowardly denizen of the internet, who uses the anonymity of an ever-changing handle to harass and malign others in a way she would never have the courage to do in real life.
Example: Having no self-esteem or particular knowledge of his own, the sockpuppet posts away ad nauseum, wasting bandwidth and contributing nothing to the community.

solipsists’ ball: A standard, but excellent, excuse for avoiding some tedious social event, in favour of your own company.
Example: Sorry, can’t make it tonight: it’s the Solipsists’ Ball, don’t ya know.

soulrot: Sarcastic term for anything that consistently distresses you emotionally
to the point that you become depressed and lifeless.
As a result, decaying self-confidence dips to sub-zero levels.
Example: Ex: This is the worst job e-v-e-r. I can’t fix 2 years worth of somebody else’s mistakes in 3 months
and my boss doesn’t understand why. This job is giving me soulrot.

soybomb: Someone who foolishly intrudes on the show–ineffectively, but memorably nonetheless.
From the Grammys when Bob Dylan was playing and a guy jumped on stage with no shirt and the word soybomb on his chest.
Dylan not so much as looked at the guy. Hehehehe.
Example: The freakin soybomb jumped up on stage and tried to sing.

space junk: unwanted gifts that fill your shelves and cupboards
Example: Clair’s attempt to find that red dress she wore to her year 12 formal was thwarted by space junk.

spare: A hanger-on; a useless person who attaches herself to a group but is not so obnoxious that the others will actively try to drive her off. In any sufficiently large group of people, one person will be the spare. To find out who the spare is, ask the question, If we were being chased by Zombies, who would we shoot in the leg so the Zombies would stop to eat him,
so that the rest of us could escape?
Example: That’s just Craig. Ignore him, he’s our spare.

spaztastic: Combination of spazzy and fantastic. Used when someone is extremely hyper or something is really great.
Example: She was extremely spaztastic. She downed a tube of Crest, then sang beautifully.

spice box: A person who is always ready and willing to state his or her opinion however controversial,
politically incorrect, or offensive it may be.
Example: Brian is always arguing his point even when the Professor says he’s wrong. He’s a real spice box.

spinhacker: Anyone who engages in the deconstruction of propaganda for the edification of others.
Example: Did you see that guy on TV last night tear into that campaign manager? Man, what a spinhacker.

splab a squiffy: To read something really fast without actually reading it properly;
to glance at something.
Example: Did you read that article?
No, but I’ll splab a squiffy later on.

Splink: verb. To casually mention your boyfriend or girlfriend in conversation, in order to show that you are not interested in the listener without making him or her lose face. The boyfriend or girlfriend can be real or imaginary.
Example: I thought it was going to be a study-date, but she splinked me early on, so I guess we were just studying.

springbutt: A person in a (military) class who knows all the answers (because they jump to their feet to answer questions).
Example: Hope you and Mike are enjoying (Fort) Belvoir. ID the springbutts in the group yet?

Springer Moment: 1. The sensation of finding yourself suddenly surrounded by rednecks.
2. The sudden realization that you’re doing something worthy of a Jerry Springer guest.
Example: When he woke up in the hotel room with the motorcycle gang, John had a real Springer moment.

spritely jig: Celebratory dance .
Example: After their victory the team danced a spritely jig.

sprunch: Lunch/supper.
Example: Let’s do sprunch sometime.
Let’s go to Vic’s for sprunch.

squid: Persons whose experience in an area, especially sports, especially paintball, would suggest that they should be more skillful or more knowledgable then they actually are.
Someone who should know better or play better.
Example: John’s a squid. He’s been on the basketball team since freshman year and still can’t make a free throw.

stackronym: Stacking acronym. A string of acronyms, such that one letter of an acronym represents
another acronym; opitomized by the incessant use of ‘G’ (meaning GNU) in fFree software.
Example: GDK = GTK+ Drawing Kit
GTK+ = GIMP Tool Kit
GIMP = GNU Image Manipulation Program
GNU = Gnu’s Not Unix
so. GDK is a stackronym fFor:
Gnu’s Not Unix Image Manipulation Program Tool Kit Drawing Kit

starbucksian: An adjective which describes an item or store related to the popularization of a once grass-roots theme. Example: When the flashy new starbucksian restaurant put the diner out of business, the neighborhood was finally considered upscale.

steak in the pocket: To experience good fortune or good luck when it was unexpected.
Example: Nice, my roommate bought the beer this time. Steak in the pocket.

Step-husband or -wife: A virtual definition imposed on people who’re seen together so often
that people assume they’re in a relationship together.
Esp. for roommates of the opposite sex.
Origin: The term is spawned by the broken family phenomenon in which one cannot be truly sure if a child-parent pair are in fact biologically related. Therefore the term step- is imposed as a prefix to the assumed relationship.
Example: Either my step-husband or I will be home all day to let the cable guy in. [They never give you a narrow enough window to let you do anything else the whole day. Arrogant bastards!]

stod: A nameless and helpless character in video games, action movies, and similar works.
One who exists only to be effortlessly killed, beaten, or otherwise dispatched by more
important main characters with names.
Example: Before reaching the boss battle that ends level six, the player must fight through approximately two-hundred stods.

stoptional: A stop-sign in the middle of nowhere.
Example: Don’t slow down, it’s only stoptional.

storyhog: Someone who dominates any conversation with an unlimited amount of stories to tell.
Example: I hate when that storyhog is around–nobody else can get a word in.

street puppy: Any hot dog or sausage sold by a street vendor.
Example: Spiros! Throw another street puppy on the grill.

studitis: Tendency of females to be attracted to the alpha stud, like football heroes, for mating–
and males to be attracted to the alpha stud as their leader, as in gangs.
The animal instinct to mate or follow the strongest male.
Example: She had studitis so bad she was constantly jumping to stronger males, but she died rich and happy.

stupid onion: A woman so unbelievably hot she brings grown men to tears without marriage.
Example: Pointing excitedly. Holy crap! That is one stupid onion.

stupified: To make instructions easy enough for even the dumbest to understand and follow.
Example: We stupified the manual so that everyone can understand it now.

subliminal gastard: 1. A person who is subtly manipulative and suggestive, who uses carefully selected words and actions to achieve a desired reaction.
2. Someone who disguises deriding or mocking comments in such a way that they are not perceived intil later.
Example: 1. I can’t believe that subliminal bastard of a salesman convinced me to get an Apple PC.
2. If I had realized at the time that I was being insulted I’d have cleaned his clock.

suckalicious: It really**3 sucks.
Example: I can’t believe he gave me a ticket. That’s suckalicious.

superliminal: The opposite of subliminal–direct and loud manner of instruction; screaming or in-your-face approach.
Example: George’s superliminal tactics in conversation aided him in expressing exactly what he was thinking and left no room for surprises.

sweatermeat: Breasts.
Example: That chick is packin’ some serious sweatermeat.

sweeps magillicuddy: the person who has to sweep the store when closing.
Example: hey, look it’s Sweeps Magillicuddy! You missed a spot.

swim upstream: to travel a long distance to meet with a girlfriend/boyfriend, inspired by the lengths salmon go to mate

tadpole: A man who is dating a woman considerably older then himself.
Example: Look at Betty, she’s landed herself a tadpole.

tafe-syndrome: Those at a publicly funded tertiary education facility, deluded into thinking that they will be set up when they finish.
The saying comes from Enmore Tafe in Sydney where many design students think that upon graduation they will just walk into web design jobs.
2. A person whose expectations are far in excess of the reality of her situation.
NB not used as an insult, more in the way of pity for the unwitting.
Example: The way those guys are talking–its tafe-syndrome for sure.

tag ‘n release: The act of picking up a potential love interest and setting them free before having sex. Usually practiced by married men who don’t want to cheat on their wives, but still enjoy the thrill of the chase.
Example: I went to a nightclub last night for a game of tag ‘n release.

tajmahtoilet: a very expensive bathroom remodeling project.
Example: The contractor’s clients purchased $90 per square foot imported tile for their tajmahtiolet renovation.

talent: Describing a place or situation in which there are many good looking women.
Example: Boy, there sure is some talent here tonight

tanorexic: Someone who goes to the tanning bed way too much.
Example: She goes tanning every day. She’s tanorexic.

tanwahsya: (Tan-wahs-ya) Acronym. Stands for There Are No Words For How Screwed You Are. Used when someone has put off a terribly large project to the last minute, or any other appropriate time.

Example: Peter, you are tanwahsya.

Teacher Breath: A foul smelling breath brought on by excessive consumption of tea or coffee. Remarkably common in high-school teachers.
Example: Don’t get too near to Mr. Smith, he has terrible teacher breath.

Techno-Peasant: One who works with technologically advanced machines, and yet does not understand how they work.
This may be most accurately used to describe those who work all day on the computer, but have to call in the Sysop when their screen freezes.
Example: I may work for a software company, but as a secretary I am merely a techno-peasant.
In 1989, I became a Techno-Peasant when hired to do data-entry for the Federal Government.

technotic: Any boring, droning electronic dance music designed to be enjoyed only by happy people; describes almost all music played at a rave; in the state of being bored by any bad disco influenced music.
Example: This place is so technotic only ravers could enjoy it.

technovelty: the latest technological gadget that is more a conversation piece than a necessity
Example: His parents would not allow him to spend his allowance on the compact retractable shoestring lacer, saying it was a technovelty that would soon end up in a drawer.

telecrastination: The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.

tempon: Temporary employees hired for a short-time to soak up extra work around the office.
Example: That project was killing us until we hired those tempons.

teshmelon: The result of the first time you shampoo on your own after you get a new haircut,
and you not only lose the style, but your head looks abnormally large and rectangular
for the rest of the day.
Example: When I left the salon yesterday, my doo was stylin…but today I got the teshmelon.

Thaid: Pronounced like said with a th. Describes the act of thinking what you’d rather say in a certain situation, instead of what you obviously did say.
Example: This girl asked me if I had the time, and she was pretty hot, so I thaid, Sure, what did you have in mind?

thank the process: (of evolution.) Thank God. Of evolution is optional.
Example: Thank the process for gummy worms.

the *noun* fairy: Mythical being that is responsible for the delivery of an object which is obviously too ludicrous to have been delivered by said being. In reference to the tooth fairy.
Example: I was a good little girl and the piano fairy brought me a brand new Steinway.

the American Embassy: The most prevalent US export to the United Kingdom: McDonalds.
Example: And over here, we pass Taunton’s very own American Embassy.
I only see the Golden Arches.

The H is O: Shortform of the The Heat is ON!

Take from the title of a Glenn Frey song. Also used on a Saturday Night Live sketch.
Example: Rich: Albert, you’re screwed! You have a 12 page essay due tomorrow that you haven’t started yet.
Albert: Yeah, I know. The H is O.

The W’s: The internet. Refers to the www. prefix to most internet addresses.
Example: Hey, Kris, look up the movie listings on the W’s.

therapy fodder: A self-affirming way of describing something really awful that happened – you’re going to have something to talk to your psychologist about! (Note: this actual phrase is used by maybe five people on the face of the earth. It’s a good explanation for my URL though.)
Example: Yeah, so my boyfriend just dumped me. Ah well, it’s all therapy fodder…

thropping: Thrift shopping.
Example: I went thropping yesterday and I got the cutest shirt for just $3.

tire chaser: A very ugly girl; basically, a dog, hence the reference to chasing cars.
Example: That girl is one serious tire chaser. Better bring a paper bag.

to spielberg: To hide an advertisement in a work of entertainment
Example: Did you see the new Tom Cruise movie? They spielberg for everything from laundry detergent to ballpoint pens. It’s worse than network television.

toe-in-cheek humor: Anything that tries to be witty, but blows it and winds up looking stupid.
Example: He thought he’d make a cute joke about her divorce, but it turned into toe-in-cheek humor at that point.

toolbar: Used to describe a dumb person, but specific to computer geeks.
Example: That guy comes to the computer lab every day just to play tetris-arena. What a toolbar!

transpocket: To transfer the contents of one’s pockets from one article of clothing to another.
Example: Diana’s heart sank when she realized she’d forgotten to
transpocket her lip gloss from her shorts to her suede pants.

Trebek, (Alex): From the host of Jeopardy, Alex Trebek. To appear highly informed and intelligent because you have the answers in front of you.
Example: I had my PalmPilot in front of me for taking notes and I Trebek’d the whole interview. No, they didn’t ask anything that I couldn’t answer. I went Alex Trebek and printed out all of the source code before the meeting

trinoacidol: Howard Stern’s try no ass at all.
Example: Sure, there’s a cure for AIDS. It’s called Trinoacidol.

trolling for cops: When driving, allowing an aggressively-faster vehicle to overtake you in order that the faster vehicle will attract police that would otherwise be stopping you for speeding.
Example: When approaching small rural towns, he let the Corvette behind him troll for cops, thereby keeping up his ten-over-the-limit average.

trout: (n) Old news or information. (v) To inform someone that she is repeating old news.
(Originated in the Cloudmakers Yahoo Group,
Example: (n.) Audrina posted some month-old trout to the message board today.
(v.) Audrina was telling us month-old news, so I trouted her.

TTPECC: Tip-eck. There’s a Time and a Place for Everything, and it’s Called College.
Example: What’re you doing with the bong, the squid, and those three drunk chicks?

tuber: As many of y’all may know, a tuber is a plant root. This word is used to describe a couch potato watching the boob tube.
Example: As soon as Saturday soap operas roll around, my girlfriend becomes a complete tuber.

twinkie: A turn-off; a disgusting act performed by a romantic interest> Origin of the word:
When I saw my boyfriend in the seventh grade shove a twinkie in his mouth,
I was repulsed and dumped him that afternoon.
Example: Oh my God, Claire, look at the booger hanging out of his nose; that is a major twinkie.

typewaiter/typewaiting: Fast typists who strike up Instant Message dialogues, having forgotten that the other person is a hunt and peck typist, causing the fast typists to have to wait for what seems an interminably long time before receiving a response.
Example: Sorry I’m late. I was stuck in an IM with a typewait situation.

uglet: noun. the ugly grey patch that appears when a java applet is loading
Example: Aaargh, I crashed on that damn uglet!

Ugly Lights: The lights they turn on in the nightclub when it’s about to close to get everyone to go home.
Example: I had been dancing with this guy all night–and then they turned the ugly lights on.

umfriend: Someone you’re sleeping with who isn’t your girlfriend, boyfriend, or significant other.
Example: This is my… um… friend.

unass the ao: unassemble the area of operation, to leave a particular spot, widely used in the US Army
Example: What do you say we unass the ao and grab some chow?

underzaggerate: To understate or underestimate.
Example: I tend to underzaggerate my genius, you know.

unga bunga: A piece of native art or ethinic art that hangs on the wall of your parents’ cottage or grandparents’ house.
Example: My mom went to Mexico for a holiday and now the house has a million unga bungas everywhere.

unput: The kinds of info you are usually given by people who think they are smart but are not.
Example: Thanks for the unput, Mem.

unshushable: in a movie theatre, when a person will not stop talking, even when asked to stop. a group of such people are known as the unshushables.
Example: i couldn’t enjoy the film at all, due to the unshushables behind us.

Urban Assault Vehicle (UAV): SUVs driven by people who don’t go camping.
Example: Chris bought the biggest urban assault vehicle he could almost afford.

user friendly: used to describe a person who is easy, or slutty.
Example: 1. The look she gave me told me she was totally user friendly.
2. I’m guarenteed to get some tonight, because that girl looks very user friendly.

viagravate: 1. To annoy with too much desire for sex.
2. To annoy in extreme fashion.
Example: That guy at the bar was so drunk last night that all he could do was viagravate me.

voice-jail: Another word for voice-mail. Especially applicable to phone systems that don’t offer the ability to get a real live person on the other end of the call.
Example: I called Jim at his office this afternoon, but he must’ve gone home already, ’cause I got thrown into voice-jail.

wacktastic: Really odd, but nonetheless neat.
Example: That ghost movie was really wacktastic.

wallet-screw: The situation of reassuring a customer of the value of his or her purchase by charging as much for it as possible. The customers are filled with a warm afterglow and are sure it must be good because it was expensive. Mutually rewarding in different ways for all parties.
Example: Rather than shop for a bargain, Chris would go to one of the big stores and get a good wallet-screw.

Wally Martinez: South Texas-Rio Grande Valley for Wal-Mart.
Example: I’m headin’ to the Wally Martinez, need anything?

wasband: Ex-husband. More often used as an insult.
Example: Q. Did you divorce that jerk yet? B. Yes, he has now attained the rank of wasband.

wearing the cheese: To move slowly or to do something slowly.
Example: Bob is really wearing the cheese.

weather porn: Reality-type video TV program featuring home video of tornadoes, hurricanes, etc. Related to cop porn.
Example: Are you watching weather porn again? If you’ve seen one tornado, you’ve seen them all!

weirdette: a female weirdo 🙂
Example: that girl’s weird…she’s a weirdette

whatever wets your salad: whatever’s good for you
Example: Girl. I think he’s fine.
Response: Hey, whatever wets your salad, girl.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: What The Fuck? Military slang.
Example: Bill. Damn, your mom is HOT! John. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!

wire fairies: Wire fairies aren’t tiny imaginary beings in human form, possessing magical powers. They are tiny little evil beings in human form, their sole purpose in life is to tangle wires up when humans aren’t looking and this is how wires become messed up always.
Example: oh my, all of my wires have become tangled, damned those Wire Fairies damn them all.

wonderlust: Sexual desire based on curiosity rather than passion.
Example: Andrew? He’s seriously hot for Rollergirl, but with Bjork it’s just wonderlust.

wood-pusher: A professional chess player.
Example: Bobby Fisher was the greatest American wood-pusher ever.

work the biscuit: This phrase was originally used in the context of a guy hitting on a girl or vice-versa.
Since it’s conception, however, the phrase has been extended to include many other forms
of action not necessarily related to dating rituals.
Example: Check out Dave talking to Kelly. He’s really working the biscuit.

would you like some cheese: A snappy retort to be used against someone who keeps
interrupting in an annoying way.

Example: Them: Oh, can’t we just stop here? My feet are getting all hot and I think
I’m getting blisters.
You: Aw, look at the poor little baby? Would he like some cheese with his whine?

wounded soldier: A partially-finished can or bottle of beer that can still be consumed.
Example: Ed: I can’t find any more beer anywhere. Ted: Here, take this wounded soldier off me.

wrinkle ranch: A name used in place of nursing home, senior citizen estates, and so forth.
Example: Damn, is she getting old… It’s about time to move Grandma to the wrinkle ranch.

Wrong way to eat a reese’s (c): A phrase said when some one makes either a very big mistake, or any mistake one would think impossible. Comes from the Reese’s (c) ad slogan there’s no wrong way to eat a reese’s (c)
Example: I spilled wine on my date’s dress, and then almost set her on fire Whoa! Wrong way to eat a reese’s (c)

wuss-rock: music that males (mostly boy-bands) make that’s very sappy and cheesy in nature. it’s usually listened to by teenaged girls, who think there are males out there that actually talk like that.

xenacate: To utterly destroy a fictional character so as to prevent anyone, anytime, anywhere, from resurrecting that character in any media.
Example: I lost my job on the soap-opera because he xenacated my character.

yardormore: Some that is only attractive from a yard or more away.
Example: I thought she was hot, but she was only a yardormore.

yippies: Young women who find it necessary to scream each others’ names at high decibels–repeatedly.
Example: Those yippies are hurting my eardrums.

yoinked: The act of swooping in at the final seconds of an online auction and outbidding your competitors.
Example: I had the high bid on that thing with 20 seconds left and then yoinked it.

your other left: You say it when someone goes to the right, after you tell them to go left. See Neo’s last chase scene in The Matrix, just before he gets shot.
Example: A. Go through the door on your left.
B. This one?
A. No, your other left.

Yuh-HUH: Probably invented by Friends scriptwriters. Used when somebody is only now coming to understand something that everybody else found insanely obvious. Read the example and you’ll get it.
Example: So, Santa Claus doesn’t exist? Yuh-HUH!

yuppie gunfight: when two or more people reach for their cell phone when one rings. see also ‘cellphonic appraisal’
Example: when ron, justin, and mike heard a cell phone ring, it was a yuppie gunfight to see who could grab their phone first.

Zanzaro: Meaning someone who still can’t understand your source code even after reading your excellent comments.
Also meaning mosquito in some languages.
Example: Tony, I can’t believe your being a zanzaro.

Zebra Logic: If you hear hooves, think horses not zebras.
Those guilty of zebra logic are constantly looking for the exception to the rule.
Example: Using her uncanny zebra logic, Jen suggested that the holes in her clothes were caused by my Martian death rays.

zentropic: The state of someone who has a shallow understanding of Zen, and uses it to excuse the fact that she does absolutely nothing, on the basis that she is in tune with the Tao.
Example: Jim smokes marijuana every day, and he sits at home contemplating the universe. He’s so zentropic he hasn’t left the house in months. OR He fixed me with his best calm pond look, the zentropic bastard.

zircon: A girl that’s pretty enough to date but you can’t get serious about, as in worthy of a cubic zirconia but not a diamond.
Example: Cheri’s sweet, but that hyena laugh makes her a zircon.

zombielicious: Something so good it turns you into a wide-eyed slab of enjoyment.
Example: Mike’s party was zombielicious.

zug: A person who is fanatically obsessed with a geeky hobby to the point of being socially clueless–poor hygeine, rude behavior, moronic sense of humor, arrogance despite obvious foolishness. Common subcategories include comic book zugs, gaming zugs, Star Trek zugs
(trekkers, the people who are so into it they can’t let themselves be called trekkies),
rennaizugs (idiots with sticks wearing sheets, socially clueless people who live at the Rennaissance festivals and fairs), Rocky Horror zugs (way too late, way too lame),
Vampire zugs (fang tards), anime zugs, etc. This is not a term for the general fans of these hobbies, but for a specifically severe type of social retard. To my knowledge this was originally a comic book or game shop insider term as early as the 80s, but it has not been shared with the fan base, instead being supplanted by the less derogatory and more gender-specific fanboy.
Example: We’d better get the subscribers comics out of the shipment before the hordes of slobbering zugs come through the door. That guy seems to think he’s cool, but he’s just a zug.
You should see how many toys he has in his living room.

zzz-mail: An email that is taking forever to send. Example: Damn b, this ain’t email, this is zzz-mail







2 responses to “Caterpillar in the Pudding”

  1. […] If you’re easily offended, don’t look and instead go to my 2005 collection of American slang. […]

  2. […] this amuses you, see also my Caterpillar in the Pudding and my faves from the Overheard in New York […]