Ask the Cats at 3

Half an hour ago, I received a cryptic IM from Lawrence Simon, who runs the esteemed weblog, . The transcript follows:

isfullofcrap: atc – at 3
robertdotnagle: as happy as i am to be sent an IM (although I don’t usually do much IMing), I must confess I have no idea what this message means!
isfullofcrap has signed back in. (8/14/2006 2:26 PM)
isfullofcrap: ask the cats
robertdotnagle: ?! Oh, I am so out of it.
robertdotnagle: Will the cats tell you? Are the cats even listening? Should we trust what the cats have to say? Are the dogs full of misinformation? Will the cats entertain any peculiar question or only cat-specific questions? Who ever decided that the cat’s opinions are worth taking into consideration? Should I be asking the cats in unison or one at a time? What if the cats don’t agree?
robertdotnagle: Do the cats enjoy being bothered by humans? How many cats do I need for a clear enough cat-consensus? How do I know the cats will offer constructive information when they don’t know me from Adam? Does it really matter which cat I ask? Why should the cats be asked at 3:00? Will they complain if I ask earlier? Is that when they come back from lunch or breaktime or some important catty meeting?
robertdotnagle: How sure can I be that the cat’s information won’t be out of date by the time I ask it? If I start asking the cats, will I then be obligated to answer their silly feline questions? If I ask something, how sure can I be they won’t just scoff? Can’t I just google it? Will asking the cats so late in the game be an exercise in futility? How do I know these cats are in my same time zone? (Perhaps they are already fast asleep somewhere in Bangkok).
robertdotnagle: How would I even know if they have read my question (and not simply dancing merrily on some fence somewhere?)
robertdotnagle: If I DON’T ask the cats, what will be the implications? Will I piss off a bunch of cats? Or will they be too preoccupied to notice?
robertdotnagle: If I have no time to ask the cats today, is it okay if someone asks in my stead?
robertdotnagle: Do the cats charge per minute? Will they take umbrage if I ask too many newbie questions? Should I address them by saying, “Hey, Cats,” or take the trouble to find out their names?
robertdotnagle: If I ask something without first checking their weblog , will they ignore me?
robertdotnagle: Isn’t it better to ask the cats in person?
robertdotnagle: Would the cats be impressed if I ask them something about Ruby on Rails? Nuclear Proliferation? Digital Maoism? Index funds?
isfullofcrap: i think you’re a tad unclear on the concept.

Post-script: 3:00 came and went. With all my jibber-jabbering, I have forgotten to ask these cats anything. I could kick myself…KICK MYSELF! is there still time? Will they be mad? Will there be time to ask them next week? Did you ask them anything?

(For more, see this fullofcrap post).