Numbness of Sorrow: 18 Minute video interview of a murder victim’s mother

Here’s a sad and otherworldly 18 minute TV interview with a mother of a murdered girl. It seems on the surface to be a perfectly ordinary interview, but the girl died the day.  the mother found out only hours before she did the interview! She and her son  had actually seen a newscast about the murder the previous night, not realizing it was about her daughter.

This was a murder with strange details: pornography, clinical depression, a sleazy photographer and drugs. The mother’s demeanor is chatty, even kind of giddy in a perverse way. She laughs hysterically at parts. (If any actors are reading this blog, this interview is instructive. People react to traumatic events in very unpredictable ways).

Before the murder, the mother knew something was horribly wrong; she met the murderer several times and even acted pleasantly towards him; she wanted to avoid arousing suspicion.  The mother  had even planned to rescue her on the next day (the day when she had the interview!) I’m sure she will feel a lot of guilt for not acting sooner. What a burden! When the reporter asked her if she was in shock, she replied:

(15:08) I’m in shock. I speak calmly and coherently and I can carry on and answer the phone and function because I .. you know, I look at the clock..and she’s supposed to be here by now , but she could be late. You know. But I cannot imagine…I cannot imagine… tomorrow and the next day and the next day… She was..she was… an amazing person…amazing… so even though I seem calm, cool and collected, it’s because I can’t believe it’s true. I can’t .. I can’t deal with the thought that I cannot see her again…

When people are struck by disaster, they don’t immediately crumble; they survive on the adrenalin induced by the tragedy.

The reporter who conducted the interview describes the process of doing this interview and why he felt it was positive.

I googled around for news of the murder and I came across mydeathspace, a chat forum for people to discuss myspace people who have died. Here’s a long thread about the murder, with two comments by people who knew both the murdered and the victim. (Note: the subject of porn comes up at several places, but this is generally a respectful and worksafe thread).

It is extremely sad to read such things. I have to wonder whether all the chatter online really helps people to resolve the issues related to the death. Or does it bleed the wounds further (or compromise the testimony of witnesses?) I’m more optimistic. Perhaps it  increases the possibility that some witness will produce an important piece of evidence.

By the way, all murders are tragedies, but I have to say by some random coincidence I came across another murder of a porn star, Haley Paige. (see the wikipedia page) . This story seems almost sadder. Why are all the young girls dying these days?

I don’t really have anything against porn, but why does it attract so many freaks? If anything, these crimes point to the fact that drugs impair judgment and makes crazy people crazier.






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