Category: Literary/Ebooks

  • Quest of a hoe hand (Essay by Robert Flynn)

    I noticed that my college writing instructor Robert Flynn is 94 today. Quite randomly I stumbled upon a personal essay which my college writing teacher Robert Flynn (Home, W) had published in the Houston Chronicle in 1998. It is a beautiful essay, and I am reposting it here to celebrate Robert Flynn’s 94th birthday. See also my 2007 audio interview with Robert Flynn. Editorial Note: In the middle of the essay, It appears that the digital version might be missing a sentence. I will look up the original essay and try to rectify that. Stay Tuned. RJN

    Robert Flynn, 2008, Picture by Robert Nagle, (Source: WIkipedia)

    Quest of a hoe hand – He began digging for universal truths as a young writer in Chillicothe, Texas – and he’s still at it.
    March 15, 1998 | Houston Chronicle (TX)
    By ROBERT FLYNN; Novelist Robert Flynn is writer in residence at Trinity University in San Antonio. | Page: 8 | Section: TEXAS MAGAZINE

    To be a writer in Texas is to have your eyes opened to truth and beauty. A friend and I were standing in the cotton field one day. It was one of those 100-degree North Texas days when the hot wind blows – and the wind always blows, and it always blows either hot or cold. And the only thing there is to move is sand. And the sand moves every time the wind blows. We were leaning on our hoes, and way off in the distance we could see a pickup truck going down a country road and leaving a cloud of dust behind it. We must have stood there, transfixed, for 10 or 15 minutes, just admiring that cloud of dust on the horizon. My friend said, “Ain’t that the prettiest thing you ever saw?” It was my introduction to beauty.

    My introduction to truth was not so dramatic. My grandmother was born in Vermont in 1842. That was the year the Webster-Ashburton Treaty was signed between the United States and England settling the boundary of Canada west of Lake Superior. She married my grandfather who was an Irish immigrant and followed him to Texas where he helped build the Fort Worth and Denver Railroad. Grandmother bore him three sons, all born at a constantly moving end of the track. Near Chillicothe my grandfather bought a piece of land. A few years later, in 1897, he was murdered. Grandmother hung on to that piece of land and she doomed her children to do the same.

    Every day both going and coming from the two-room country school I attended, I had to cross over the railroad tracks my grandfather helped to lay. And in both directions the tracks ran as far as the eye could see. A few miles to the east and we would have been in an oil field. A few miles west and we would have been on land good for nothing but running cows and chasing jack rabbits. Slowly the truth appeared on the horizon. My grandfather had been tricked into buying the only place in 20 miles

    The cotton field is one of the great classrooms of life. Put a young man in a cotton field, place a sack on his back or a hoe in his hand, and right away his thoughts will turn to truth and beauty. A far-off look will come into his eye. Put a young man in a cotton field and he will take up prayer. “Lord, if you will just get me out of this- I will never again as long as I live look at the women’s underwear in the Sears catalog.”

    It was in the cotton field that I first learned the power of the English language. I had a girlfriend who chopped cotton with me. She was called a hoe hand. I know because my mother told me. As I stood there all alone in the cotton field – my girlfriend had been sent home because I used the wrong word – it came to me like a flash of light that if the wrong word like hoer had the power to move my mother to such action, just think what using the right word – like hoe hand – could accomplish.

    That was when I first got the notion of being a writer. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. We didn’t go in much for writing at the country school I attended. Writing was something that was done by weirdos and other New Yorkers. Real men studied penmanship. We made little push-pull lines all over the page. And row after row of spirals. It was called the Palmer Method and was invented during the Spanish Inquisition as a means of turning boys from writers to pray-ers. “Lord, if you will just get me out of this I will never touch another pencil. And I will never again drop my eraser and try to look up Myrtle Bailey’s dress.”

    But we knew what a writer was. A writer was somebody who was dead. And if he was any good he had been dead a long time. And if he was real good, people killed him. They killed him with hemlock. Hemlock was the Greek word for Freshman Composition.

    The country school I attended was closed and we were bused to Chillicothe. Chillicothe had a teacher who had seen England. From a boat. She had discovered truth and beauty from eight miles offshore and had come to Chillicothe to share her vision with picturesque rustics. With some timidity I confessed that I too hankered after truth and beauty.

    Chillicothe is small. Chillicothe is so small there’s only one Baptist church. Chillicothe is so small you have to go to Quanah to have a coincidence. For a good coincidence you have to go to Vernon.

    Chillicothe was fairly busting with truth and beauty and my teacher encouraged me to write about it.

    I decided to write about my father. My father, the youngest of three sons, was born in a boxcar at the end of the track that has since come to be called Chillicothe, Texas, thus becoming the first born in my hometown. The boxcar served as the station house for the railroad and was, with the exception of a dugout that served as a store, the only building in town. I wrote that my father was born in the finest house in Chillicothe.

    My teacher told me to write something that had an epiphany. For an epiphany you had to go all the way to Wichita Falls.

    I wrote about Delmer Lance’s pet heifer, Snuggles. Snuggles was raised on a bottle and was as friendly as you’d want a heifer to be. Until Delmer locked her in the barn with his range bull, Bradley. The next morning, Snuggles was gone. Also the barn door. The top rail off the fence.

    Delmer chased the cow all over the country but Snuggles went wild as a new rope. One night Delmer was driving down the highway and ran into Snuggles. Delmer said he recognized her when she passed over the windshield by the puzzled look on her face. That was an epiphany. I spent half my life thinking I could recognize a bad girl by the puzzled look on her face.

    My teacher said to write about something that had happened to me. I wrote about the year there was a blizzard and everybody from the two-room country school – two teachers, 38 pupils and three adults who had sought refuge in the school – had to walk two miles through the snow to our house to spend the night. I remembered it because that was the day my father came home with 400 baby chickens and it was so cold we had to keep them in the house. All over the house it was butts and feathers.

    Forty-two chickens were squashed in the linoleum. Three drowned in the chamber pot. One was crushed when Ed Byars put on his boots. When Mother lighted the gas oven 13 went up like a torch. Three more were scorched so bad that Dad threw them out in the snow. Ed Byars spent the rest of his life minus the end of his nose because he preferred frostbite to the smell of singed chicken feathers.

    My teacher said I didn’t know the first thing about truth or beauty. I promised to go to England the first chance I got. Or at least Korea. She loaned me books that were not available in the Wilbarger County Library, books that had been written by real writers.

    Real writers wrote about such things as I had never heard of. Damsels. Splendor falling on castle walls. For splendor we had to go to the Fort Worth Fat Stock Show. Since I wasn’t overly familiar with damsels and splendor, I tried reading what real writers wrote about rural life. “Dear child of nature, let them rail. There is a nest in a green vale.” Which was pretty mystifying to me. I remember asking Bubba Spivey, “Don’t writers get chiggers like everybody else?”

    I set out looking for a green vale to make a nest in and when I got there I found out what made it so green. When it comes to vales, a cow will get ahead of you every time.

    I wrote a story that contained the wisdom of the world in eight poetic pages of arcane words and mysterious imagery full of towers, turrets and spires. My teacher loved it. She had never met a symbol she didn’t like.

    Assured of success, I went to college to become a writer. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to reveal the false hopes, the futile dreams, the fleeting victories, the glorious visions, the hidden desires, the sudden and secret joys, that bind us into one humanity. I wanted to refine the language, to explore the avenues of communication, to stretch the limits of understanding, to probe the mysteries and futilities and glories of man, to heal his broken spirit, to restore his sense of purpose, to discover the nature of beauty and truth, and to sell it to the movies for a million dollars. After which I intended to marry a movie star and move to Paris, Texas. Or at least Commerce.

    My instructor told me the way to find truth and beauty was to write about heroes and villains, good people vs. bad people. The best people I knew did bad things, and the worst people I knew did good things. We weren’t heroes or villains, we were just puzzled. How could I write about the people I knew when I was attending a college that did not approve of dancing? Smoking. Swearing. Drinking. Dating members of the opposite sex. Dating members of the same sex. I used to pray, “Lord, if you will just get me out of college I will never be a Christian again.”

    We were told to write a love story containing truth and beauty. I was petrified. I had never seen a moat or a moor. I had never known a knight or a knave. I was the only great lover I knew. The only time I came close I began nuzzling the girl’s ear and lost my chewing gum in her hair. It was Bazooka bubble gum and I hadn’t gotten all the sweet out of it. I spent the next hour and 45 minutes alternating between kissing her eyes and frisking her scalp, and holding my hands over her eyes while chewing her hair. Her mother called her three times before my jaws came unstuck.

    I wrote about a boy and a girl. He is true. She is innocent. They have found a nest in a green glade. They smoke a Salem. They speak of truth and beauty.

    I threw the story away. I wrote about a boy and a girl. The boy is generally true. The girl is relatively innocent. They find a meadow. The sun is hot, the wind roughens their complexion. They smell of sweat and Salem cigarettes. He speaks of love with some truth. She has a puzzled look on her beautiful face.

    I tore up the pages. A boy and a girl. He is a bastard. She is a bitch. They are lying in a pasture among cow dung. Scratching chigger bites. The blazing sun raises blisters on his back. He has a herpes on his lip. She has bologna breath. He whispers obscenities into her ear. He loses his gum in her hair. It is Fleers bubble gum and still has some of the sweet in it. Her mother calls. He gnashes his teeth.

    I tore my hair.

    I wrote about Bud Tabor. Bud was a married man, and Sherry McIlroy’s father shot him through Box 287. Ed McIlroy was the postmaster and when Bud came in to get his mail, Ed stuck a pistol in the open end of the box and shot Bud in the eye. Ed was a conscientious man and he waited until Bud opened the box and looked inside so as not to deface government property.

    They never found Bud Tabor’s eye. Buried him without it. They fixed him up with a glass eye for the funeral, but Sherry and Bud’s wife got in an argument over who got to keep it as a souvenir. Sherry won. Put it on a chain and wore it hanging down between her breasts. Folks used to say Bud may have gone to hell but his eye went to heaven. Some folks’ idea of heaven is mighty small. Larger on one side than the other.

    My instructor said it was not a love story.

    Delmer Lance had some sheep but they developed an unnatural affection for an old yellow dog. They followed the dog wherever it went. No pen could hold them for long, and once they were on his trail, the dog couldn’t shake them. In desperation the dog ran away from home, the sheep right behind him.

    From time to time the dog and sheep would show up at someone’s tank or feed trough, the dog looking gaunt and haunted eyed, the sheep looking all unraveled. Elmer Spruill shot the dog. Elmer said he couldn’t stand the puzzled look in the dog’s eyes.

    My instructor said there was no beauty, no truth and no moral.

    Lowell Byars came to the county with his wife, Lou. They lived in a dugout and poor-boyed, working as long as there was light to see. There was no time for visiting neighbors or going to church, just day after day of chopping weeds and carrying water, with nothing to eat but biscuits and gravy, and nothing but the gritty quilts Lou’s mother had given them to sleep on.

    The roof of the dugout caved in during a rainstorm, they were dispossessed for two days by a skunk, the crops blew away in a sandstorm. But Lou stuck it out, and if she cried of loneliness or despair it was when Lowell was away from the dugout. One morning Lowell got up early as usual and said, “Get dressed, Lou, we’re going to Quanah to see the Mollie Bailey show.”

    Lowell milked the cow, fed the mules, hitched the wagon, and when he got back to the dugout he had to fix breakfast. Lou was still brushing her hair. They drove to Quanah and watched the wagons come in, drawn by elephants. They looked in the store windows and stared at the crowd of people in town. They drank lemonade and had a supper of sardines and crackers and saw the show and it was over, time to get in the wagon and start for home.

    It was a long way back to the dugout and Lowell knew he would have to get up early the next morning to make up for the work he had missed but he didn’t care. The moon was bright, a thousand stars twinkled in the sky, and he had shown his wife a sight. Lowell felt pleased with himself.

    “It ain’t so terrible being married to me, is it?” he asked Lou who was sitting silent and sleepless beside him. Lou began to cry. She cried all the way home. She cried all night. When he got up the next morning she stopped crying to fix his breakfast, but she wouldn’t speak to him for three more days until he cut his hand heading red top maize and she had to ask how he was.

    Lowell promised to take her to the Christmas dance and rather than disappoint her they drove 15 miles in an open wagon in the face of a norther. Lou danced every set of the all night dance. She went home with a fever, took pneumonia and died of frivolity.

    I had found a story with a moral but I also found it wasn’t easy writing about people I knew. I got all puzzled. I didn’t know what was beautiful, and what was foolish, and where truth lay. Was Lou Byars a silly girl unsuited for a rugged country? Was she the innocent victim of a foolish dream? Or was she a tragic heroine who knew that the quality of life was not measured by the years endured in twilight, but by the moments spent in the candle’s flame?

    Ideas are neat. You can outline an idea. You can label an idea. Ideas don’t bleed. They don’t cry. They don’t blame you for their unhappiness. They don’t die of frivolity. But a person has many faces. Some of them are vain, and some are foolish, and many are secret.

    It looked like for truth and beauty you had to cross Red River. All I knew about was a little place called Chillicothe. And it wasn’t even the Chillicothe that was on the map. It was a little place I called Wanderer Springs that existed only in my mind. And all I had to go by was my grandmother who died at the age of 90 the year I was born, and that my father was born in a boxcar at the end of the track. Would truth and beauty as I wrote it stand up against the reality of my grandmother? Would my

    I wrote the love story of Grover and Edna Turrill. When he was 16 Grover had married Edna, at the request of both families.

    Grover’s father gave them a milk cow, and Edna’s father gave them a steer. Grover yoked them together and started to California. It was his promise to Edna.

    They crossed Red River and stopped near Preston where Edna had a baby boy with no one to help her but Grover. They started again as soon as she was able to travel, Edna and the baby in the wagon, and Grover walking beside the wagon, prodding the ox and milk cow, and picking up firewood.

    One day Edna placed the sleeping baby in the back of the wagon and got out to walk beside the cow. Grover found a tree stump and not knowing the baby was in the back of the wagon, he threw in the stump, killing his child. Some cowboys found them, two teen-agers traveling across the prairie with a dead baby wrapped in a quilt. The cowboys buried the child.

    Grover and Edna were still on their way to California when the milk cow died near Wanderer Springs. They lived in the wagon while Grover broke the land with the steer and planted a crop. Later they built a house and had two more children. When Billo was 12 he went hunting on Wanderer Creek with some older boys. They ran a coon up a dead tree, and Billo was sent up the tree to shake the coon down. A pile of brush had been washed up under the tree and the older boys set it afire so that Billo could see. The dead tree caught fire and Billo was burned so he couldn’t lie down and Edna and Grover took turns holding him the four days it took him to die.

    A few years later, when Polly was 13, she complained of a stomachache. Polly wasn’t fat, but like Edna, she was slope-shouldered, solid and a good eater. When she was unable to eat breakfast, Grover hitched up the wagon, made a pallet in the back, and with Edna to comfort Polly, they started for the doctor in Wanderer Springs, several miles away. The wagon had no springs, the road was just a set of ruts across the prairie, and Polly whimpered the whole way although Grover drove as slowly as he dared.

    When they got to Wanderer Springs, they found that Dr. Vestal had been called out of town. Over near Medicine Hill, folks thought, expected to be gone all day. Polly was too sick to wait so they started for Medicine Hill, sending word ahead by Buster Bryant who volunteered to carry the message.

    It was August and the sun was hot and Polly cried out at every bump, so Edna stood and held a quilt to shade her, and Grover drove the mules as fast as he dared. They met Buster Bryant who had missed Dr. Vestal somehow. The doctor was on his way to Bull Valley. Grover turned the mules toward Bull Valley with Buster racing ahead.

    Dr. Vestal had left Bull Valley for Red Top. Buster rode to head off the wagon. The mules had played out and Grover was walking beside them to lighten the load. Edna was standing with her feet spread, holding the solid little girl in her arms, trying to absorb the bumps and shocks of the wagon with her own body. Buster told them to go home. He would find Dr. Vestal and meet them there.

    It was almost dark when the wagon got back home and Buster and the doctor were waiting. Edna was sitting beside Grover holding Polly who was so big she lay across both their laps. The mules stopped of their own accord and neither Grover nor Edna made a move to get down. Dr. Vestal started to the wagon but Grover said, “I don’t want you to touch her. We’ve been praying for you all day and listening to her die. I know it ain’t your fault, but I don’t want to see you now.”

    Buster stayed with the Turrills although he didn’t dare go in the house. He unhitched the mules and fed them and sat out on the porch. After a while Grover came out. He sat on the porch and stared at the dark, empty, treeless miles over which he had ridden that day, listening to the shriek of the wagon wheels and the dying cries of his last child.

    After a while Edna came out also and learned against the porch post, hugging the porch post as though it were a child, her head hanging down a little as though permanently bent from ironing clothes and chopping cotton. She waited while the last light of day faded and one by one the stars came out, watching the prairie that under moonlight had a sheen like a silent sea.

    “If that cow hadn’t died, we’d be in California,” Grover said.

    “Old Boss,” Edna said, remembering the name over all the years, recalling the dreams they had shared as they traveled across the prairie in the wagon.

    “Damn country,” Grover said. “Washes away every time it rains. Blows away every time there’s a wind. Hail or grasshoppers every damn year. Hot as hell or cold as hell. Flood or drought. Too dry to plant, too wet to plow – “

    “Yeah,” Edna said, nodding her head in the darkness. “But ain’t it purty.”

    Truth in the mythical kingdom of Wanderer Springs was neither comic nor tragic, neither big nor eternal. And it was revealed through the lives of common folk who belched and fornicated, and knew moments of courage, and saw beauty in their meager lives.

    But Grover Turrill gave me some problems. Some readers thought the vocabulary was offensive. I could not write about the people I knew without using the vocabulary they knew. My father did not believe a cowboy said “golly bum” when a horse ran him through a barbwire fence.

    I went to see Clifford Huff. Clifford was a horseshoer and he had been kicked, bitten or stepped on by every horse in the county. It gave him an extensive vocabulary. I asked Clifford the worst words he knew. He said they were “yes and no.” He had said yes when his wife, Letty, asked him if he was playing around and he had said no when she asked him if the gun was loaded. They had been married 33 years when Letty shot him once through the pantry and twice up the stairs.

    Words are not casual things. They are powerful. Even explosive. Words can start wars, or families. Words can wound, they can shock and offend. Words can also heal, and explain, and give hope and understanding. Words have an intrinsic worth, and there is pride and delight in using the right word. Anyone who chops cotton with an axe is a hoer.

    I don’t know whether or not Travis drew a line at the Alamo. Maybe that story is myth. I do know that every writer draws the line. Must draw the line. Whether he is dealing with teachers, advisers, well-wishers, editors, publishers, critics or the public. This is my kingdom. These are my people. I know them better than anybody. They will not jump through hoops for the amusement of casual readers. They will not temper their speech for prudish ears. I may not respond the way they do, but I respect them for what they are. And that’s where I draw the line.

    I wrote a book about people my grandmother would have spoken to, and they used words my father would have believed. A few people heard of it. Fewer read it. My closest friends bought it. And loaned it out. After a while the book disappeared from bookstores to make room for a best seller written by a man who had never met an adverb he didn’t like. It was about an oil-patch hooker who falls in love with a Soviet spy but turns him over to the CIA to save the Battleship Texas from being stolen by Sandinistas. When it comes to writing, hoers have it all over hoe hands.

    But I had already turned down the next row. Writing is a lot like chopping cotton. It’s a long way to the end of the row, and when you get there, there’s always another row to turn down. A friend was disturbed that I was spending so much time at something so unrewarding. “There’s no money in it,” he said. I couldn’t argue with that. “There’s more fame in selling used cars. There’s more fun in running a gas pump.” I didn’t argue with him because he was right.

    I just kept chopping on down the row, knowing when I got to the end of it, there would be another row to turn down. And another. And another. And as the day wore on it wouldn’t get any easier. Maybe it wouldn’t get any better. Perhaps no one would come out to the field to see if I was still working. I might not even hear the dinner bell. It didn’t matter. He thought I was a hoer. But I am a hoe hand.

  • What exactly does a human being do?

    Today I was brainstorming possible events or activities in a person’s life. Why? I was trying to create a reference page of normal events/situations which could be settings for dramatic things to take place. I have done this for several other parts of life as a springboard for brainstorming.

    If you think about it, life is not that complicated. There’s only so many activities that I normally engage in. To be fair, I am not a very active person and I am single (ie. unattached) and live with my mother. I would imagine that there’s no more than 100-200 activities that describe my life (most of it anyway). The activities listed below probably account for 95% of my day. That’s all it is.

    Most of the activities are common to all humans across the globe. Sure, the activities of different people might have slight variations. For example, if you were a musician, you would probably spend time rehearsing with your instrument, going to group rehearsals, performance, etc. That is an example of specialized activities on the job. A U.S. president probably has to perform certain specialized tasks that most humans rarely have to do, but chances are, this list includes 95% of the activities that even a president or a pope would do.

    The list below doesn’t capture the magic and poetry and sadness of life itself. For example, I can say that listening to music throughout the day gives me a lot of joy. Listening to music keeps me going; I do it while working on intellectual tasks or even trying to sleep. I would like to say that I love reading books and discovering new authors, but honestly in my mid-adult years, I have very little time to do the activities I love the most.

    I imagine a video game designer for the Sims has already made a map of human activities like this. It is surprisingly easy to compile this list, and I suspect that the majority of these activities can be programmed fairly easily (the movement part at least).

    It occurs to me that I do a lot of things in bed. I do a significant amount of thinking and meditation there, along with reading and of course sleep. Sometimes I do some writing (or at least note-taking).

    One has to wonder how this list would be different 50, 100 or 200 years ago. Instead of doing stuff online, maybe you’d go a library

    I also spend a lot of time doing things on my computer desk, including this blogpost. But I also drink and eat on it. Here goes my list:

    Solitary Activites

    Solitary moments

    • taking a walk through the neighborhood
    • driving in a car
    • swimming
    • riding a bicycle
    • taking a shower
    • sleeping
    • thinking/dreaming in bed
    • exercising/weights

    Meals at Home

    • eating dinner together with housemates or visitors
    • or alone
    • snacking while doing something else (working, watching TV, web surfing etc).

    Internet usage

    • research for purchase
    • read daily news
    • learn about new concept or product
    • research people
    • social media following friends and celebs
    • posting on social media/generating content

    Entertainment

    • watching TV/movie
    • reading book
    • going to an arts event — concert, play, movie
    • performs at an art event
    • Participating in a multiplayer video game

    Personal Hygiene

    • Brushing Teeth & flossing
    • Urinating/defecating
    • Apply make-up
    • Taking shower, washing hair
    • Washing hands and face.
    • shaving

    Solitary Chores

    • paying bills, planning finances
    • preparing meal & washing dishes
    • cleaning room & organizing
    • cleaning equipment or tools.
    • rehearsing something (a musical instrument, a presentation, a speech or dramatic performance)
    • Sorting through/organizing belongings. Making an inventory.
    • Archiving old things (by digitizing, tossing, storing)
    • checking mail
    • walking dog, feeding dog
    • repair or mend a household or personal item.
    • getting gas
    • washing clothes, drying, folding and putting away.
    • picking up trash/taking out trash

    Outdoor Work

    • Yardwork. Mowing the lawn.
    • Taking out/bringing in the trash.
    • Picking up the mail/dropping off the mail.
    • Simple home maintenance (Decorating the door and yard. Cleaning the outside)

    Enjoying the Outdoors

    • Birdwatching,
    • Getting a sun tan,
    • Take the dog to the park
    • Taking a simple walk (around the neighborhood, etc)
    • Visiting a park (by oneself, with a child or pet)

    Relaxing

    • listening to Music (maybe with others)
    • taking a walk (walking the dog)
    • Playing with the dog
    • playing a single player game (on the phone, etc).
    • reading
    • watching tv
    • gardening (relaxing chores)
    • playing a single player game (videogame, wordle, on the phone, etc).

    Hobbies

    • Join a club or group or church; attend meetings
    • Buy equipment to pursue the hobby (do research, learn skill, etc)
    • Learn the activity by self or with others
    • Do solitary activities related to the hobby

    Learning

    • Follow a tutorial
    • Try by doing
    • Try, test, try
    • Asking Somebody to explain
    • buy training
    • buy and read a book
    • Read the manual
    • attend a class or seminar

    Writing

    • email to personal friend
    • blogposts/essay
    • fiction
    • write a complaint
    • post and/or share on social media

    Creating Things

    • Making a graphic or editing a graphic
    • Combining media to make multimedia
    • Draw or design something physical for artistic reasons (self-expression, beauty, etc)
    • Draw or design something physical for functional reasons (Make a poster, invitation, ornament, clothing)
    • Use a computer or device to create an original visual design or image.
    • Work with 1 or more individuals to create some complex physical or digital work)
    • Refining or editing something creating to make it perfect

    Traveling/On the Road

    • Routine car trip within town
    • Being caught in traffic
    • traveling on mass transit
    • long trip to another city
    • Walking to a destination to get something done or to visit someone
    • stopping at rest stop (for food, restroom, drink)
    • finding a parking space.
    • Waiting for someone in the parking lot
    • Picking someone up at a location (airport, school, work)

    Human Interactions

    Occasional Social events

    • birthday parties
    • thanksgiving
    • christmas parties family
    • xmas party friends
    • xmas party work
    • Eating out with friends or family (& dates?)
    • Meeting somebody’s friends or family
    • Going to an event or activity with one’s romantic partner
    • School & Work Reunions
    • Visiting sick or elderly people

    Family Activities

    • driving people to places
    • birthday parties for family members (small or big)
    • family meeting (for big announcements & decisions)
    • attending educational events of children (plays, award ceremonies, graduation, etc).
    • having dinner with people
    • holiday togetherness, parties
    • Babysitting for children
    • calling family/friends

    Parenting Activities

    • Going to an amusement park for kiddies
    • Going to zoo or museum
    • Chaperoning young people at social events
    • Attending sports activities of children
    • Bringing kids to an outdoor activity (swimming pool, ice rink, fishing)
    • Buying clothes for kids
    • Picking kids up from school or nursery
    • Doing carpool for your kids and others

    Social Activities within the household

    • repairman visits home to repair something
    • package delivery
    • home health care
    • exterminator visit/air conditioner repair
    • inspection/insurance inspection

    Personal errands (usually requires going offsite)

    • go to restaurant to pick up or dine in
    • visiting dentist or doctor for routine exam
    • reporting somewhere for a medical test
    • reporting somewhere to receive a license/permit/document
    • visiting the library to check out or return items or to attend special event
    • bring car or bike to repair shop for maintenance
    • Work out at a gym
    • using mass transit; interacting with strangers
    • Helping a neighbor with routine maintenance

    Shopping Tasks

    • finding a parking space (all types)
    • Directed shopping at stores (buy a specific item). Hardware store, shoe store
    • Undirected shopping (supermarket, Bookstore, clothing store, thrift shop, shopping for clothes, buying gifts for other).
    • Window shopping (visiting stores determined not to buy anything but just to see what’s there)
    • Box store shopping (combines directed shopping + browsing). This includes shopping for food

    Telephone or Video Call Events

    • Making plans with friends and family
    • texting with people to make plans
    • Discussing a personal or logistical problem
    • Introductory call with a new friend or date
    • Call to RSVP or cancel something
    • Catching up with old friends or family
    • multiperson video call (mainly for reunions of family/friends)
    • Calling a business to make an appointment
    • Calling a business to ask a question, complain, check on an order
    • receiving a call from a spam caller
    • receiving a call from a stranger who wants to arrange something (a sale, event, etc)

    Exercise & Sports (physical activity which often involves interactions, but also a certain number of repetitive tasks which may be done alone)

    • playing one-on-one with someone (handball, pickle ball, golf)
    • gym repetitions: lifting weights, stair master, treadmill,
    • “practice” — swimming, hitting tennis balls,
    • team sports — done more for the social aspects than the exercise aspects. Flag football, basketball, indoor board games, poker, massively multiplayer online games
    • Group games of a non-physical nature… Treasure Hunt, larping, role-playing games, videogames? Cards, party games like charades
    • One on one indoor. Chess, card games, adult-child games,
    • Jogging/bicycling outdoors.

    Participating in Events (artistic or otherwise)

    • Signing up or auditioning
    • Rehearsing for the Event; Attending meetings, etc.
    • Notifying friend and family about the event
    • Performing at the Event
    • volunteering for a charity or local association

    Vacation activities (occasional)

    • traveling for several hours to a destination
    • Going on a guided tour with experts or professionals (that includes outdoor adventure activities)
    • relaxing outdoor activities: hiking, going to the beach.
    • playing games/sports outside (pickle ball, volleyball, basketball
    • nightlife activities — restaurant, club, concerts

    Full-Time Professional Activities (which for certain people and at certain times of life, one does for long stretches of time)

    Technical work/problem solving

    • programming/formatting
    • Research something on the web
    • Asking someone for help online
    • Calling someone to ask for help
    • computer maintenance
    • maintaining an inventory. Stocking/restocking. Counting, checking.

    Work-related activities. This might vary radically according to the nature of each job

    • Filling out HR paperwork for onboarding
    • meetings to prioritize tasks and assign them to people
    • Informational meetings about goals and policies
    • Writing a plan or proposal to give to a coworker or client.
    • Training activities (usually offsite and paid for by employer and faciliated by someone else)
    • gathering information in order to start a task.
    • dealing with both internal and external “customers” and sharing knowledge and expertise
    • asking others for help
    • direct contact with customers/customers/patrons where courtesy is a priority.
    • Writing records or reports (as output, compliance notes). This includes presentations.
    • CYA emails. Emails to express concerns about something (and noting it officially).
    • Performance Reviews. (Not that time-consuming, but a source of anxiety).
    • Giving presentations at meetings.
    • Organizing things/cleaning things. Moving equipment or objects to the right place.
    • Traveling (usually by car) to a specific location to do a task or job or service

    Normal intermittent tasks

    • looking for work
    • applying for job
    • renewing license
    • making online payment of recurring bill
    • paying taxes
    • minor repairs
    • being sick/recuperating

    Legal/court events

    • Serving on jury duty
    • renewing driver’s license
    • being stopped by the police; receiving a ticket
    • Reporting a crime
    • Being arrested
      • being caught by the police and driven to jail
      • booked for the charge
      • going to jail, waiting to get bailed out
      • finding attorney; waiting for plea bargain
      • appearing in court as defendant
      • being sentenced, reporting to prison?

    Activities frequent when young

    • playing outside
    • hanging out with other people at someone’s house
    • going to and from school
    • classes with teachers
    • doing homework at night

    Going to a University

    • Traveling to campus
    • Orientation
    • going on outings with classmates
    • going to class
    • doing lab work
    • attending Parties, dances
    • Studying alone
    • studying with partner or with a group
    • Taking tests
    • Watching/participating in a protest

    Major Life Events

    Major Public Events (Two levels: first for the person directly involved and second for those witnessing the occasion)

    • birth
    • religious ceremonies: baptism, first communion, confirmation
    • wedding
    • divorce (usually not public or ceremonial)
    • baby shower/wedding shower
    • big birthday party/surprise party
    • big wedding anniversary
    • funeral
    • graduations

    Major Private Events

    • Having Sex
    • Making out with somebody (not sexual).
    • Sickness — Flu, Covid, etc
    • Injury — Going to Doctor or Emergency room or staying home.
    • Breaking Up with Somebody
    • Getting Fired from Work/Quitting a Job
    • Being robbed or beat up
    • Committing an indiscretion or even a crime
    • Learning about the death or major illness of a friend or family member
    • Losing a job
    • Getting in a car accident

    Emotional Turmoil (Mostly solitary)

    • Anger towards a family member.
    • Sadness about a death or loss of a friend.
    • Depression about unrequited love
    • Sadness about the state of one’s life (money problems, personal insecurities, job anxiety, etc)
    • Guilt about a wrong one committed
    • Fear of being hurt or threatened by someone
    • dealing with the spiral of addiction

  • Interview with Milan Kundera by Philip Roth (corrected)

    In college I read an amazing 1980 interview with Milan Kundera. Novelist Philip Roth did it, and Peter Kussi (W) translated it from French/Czech. and it was included at the end of the Book of Laughter and Forgetting novel. A month ago I stumbled upon the same interview and was similarly blown away by it. I looked for an online copy and found it on the New York Times website. Strangely, according to author/blogger Stephen Saperstein Frug, the New York Times had made a serious transcription error (details here). I compared it against the version in the book, and sure enough, NYT had made a mistake. I am copying the interview from the NYT verbatim and correcting the transcription error as Frug suggests. (If NYT or the estates of either author hunt me down, I’ll take this post down, but they need to publish a corrected version of the interview!) . Note: This interview also appears in its correct form in Roth’s ebook Shop Talk: A Writer and His Colleagues and their Work which is also great and frequently discounted on Amazon.

    PR: Do you think the destruction of the world is coming soon?

    MK: That depends on what you mean by the word “soon.”

    PR: Tomorrow or the day after.

    MK: The feeling that the world is rushing to ruin is an ancient one.

    PR: So then we have nothing to worry about.

    MK: On the contrary. If a fear has been present in the human mind for ages, there must be something to it.

    PR: In any event, it seems to me that this concern is the background against which all the stories in your latest book take place, even those that are of a decidedly humorous nature.

    MK: If someone had told me as a boy: One day you will see your nation vanish from the world, I would have considered it nonsense, something I couldn’t possibly imagine. A man knows he is mortal, but he takes it for granted that his nation possesses a kind of eternal life. But after the Russian invasion of 1968, every Czech was confronted with the thought that his nation could be quietly erased from Europe, just as over the past five decades 40 million Ukrainians have been quietly vanishing from the world without the world paying any heed. Or Lithuanians. Do you know that in the 17th century, Lithuania was a powerful European nation? Today the Russians keep Lithuanians on their reservation like a half-extinct tribe; they are sealed off from the visitors to prevent knowledge about their existence from reaching the outside. I don’t know what the future holds for my nation. It is certain that the Russians will do everything they can to dissolve it gradually into their own civilization. Nobody knows whether they will succeed. But the possibility is here. And the sudden realization that such a possibility exists is enough to change one’s whole sense of life. Nowadays I even see Europe as fragile, mortal.

    PR: And yet, are not the fates of Eastern Europe and Western Europe radically different matters?

    MK: As a concept of cultural history, Eastern Europe is Russia, with its quite specific history anchored in the Byzantine world. Bohemia, Poland, Hungary, just like Austria have never been part of Eastern Europe. From the very beginning they have taken part in the great adventure of Western civilization, with its Gothic, its Renaissance, its Reformation–a movement which has its cradle precisely in this region. It was here, in Central Europe, that modern culture found its greatest impulses; psychoanalysis, structuralism, dodecaphony, Bartok’s music, Kafka’s and Musil’s new esthetics of the novel. The postwar annexation of Central Europe (or at least its major part) by Russian civilization caused Western culture to lose its vital center of gravity. It is the most significant event in the history of the West in our century, and we cannot dismiss the possibility that the end of Central Europe marked the beginning of the end for Europe as a whole.

    PR: During the Prague Spring, your novel “The Joke” and your stories “Laughable Loves” were published in editions of 150,000. After the Russian invasion you were dismissed from your teaching post at the film academy and all your books were removed from the shelves of public libraries. Seven years later you and your wife tossed a few books and some clothes in the back of your car and drove off to France, where you’ve become one of the most widely read foreign authors. How do you feel as an Emigre?

    MK: For a writer, the experience of living in a number of countries is an enormous boon. You can only understand the world if you see it from several sides. My latest book, which came into being in France, unfolds in a special geographic space: Those events which take place in Prague are seen through West European eyes, while what happens in France is seen through the eyes of Prague. It is an encounter of two worlds. On one side, my native country: In the course of a mere half- century, it experienced democracy, fascism, revolution, Stalinist terror as well as the disintegration of Stalinism, German and Russian occupation, mass deportations, the death of the West in its own land. It is thus sinking under the weight of history, and looks at the world with immense skepticism. On the other side, France: For centuries it was the center of the world and nowadays it is suffering from the lack of great historic events. This is why it revels in radical ideologic postures. It is the lyrical, neurotic expectation of some great deed of its own which however is not coming, and will never come.

    PR: Are you living in France as a strange or do you feel culturally at home?

    MK: I am enormously fond of French culture and I am greatly indebted to it. Especially to the older literature. Rebelais is dearest to me of all writers. And Diderot. I love his “Jacques le fataliste” as much as I do Laurence Sterne. Those were the greatest experimenters of all time in the form of the novel. And their experiments were, so to say, amusing, full of happiness and joy, which have by now vanished from French literature and without which everything in art loses its significance. Sterne and Diderot understand the novel as a great game . They discovered the humor of the novelistic form. When I hear learned arguments that the novel has exhausted its possibilities, I have precisely the opposite feeling: In the course of its history the novel missed many of its possibilities. For example, impulses for the development of the novel hidden in Sterne and Diderot have not been picked up by any successors.

    PR: Your latest book is not called a novel, and yet in the text you declare: This book is a novel in the form of variations. So then–is it a novel or not?

    MK: As far as my own quite personal esthetic judgment goes, it really is a novel, but I have no wish to force this opinion on anyone. There is enormous freedom latent within the novelistic form. It is a mistake to regard a certain stereotyped structure as the inviolable essence of the novel.

    PR: Yet surely there is something which makes a novel a novel, and which limits this freedom.

    MK: A novel is a long piece of synthetic prose based on play with invented characters. These are the only limits. By the term synthetic I have in mind the novelist’s desire to grasp his subject from all sides and in the fullest possible completeness. Ironic essay, novelistic narrative, autobiographical fragment, historic fact, flight of fantasy: The synthetic power of the novel is capable of combining everything into a unified whole like the voices of polyphonic music. The unity of a book need not stem from the plot, but can be provided by the theme. In my latest book, there are two such themes: laughter and forgetting.

    PR: Laughter has always been close to you. Your books provoke laughter through humor or irony. When your characters come to grief it is because they bump against a world that has lost its sense of humor.

    MK: I learned the value of humor during the time of Stalinist terror. I was 20 then. I could always recognize a person who was not a Stalinist, a person whom I needn’t fear, by the way he smiled. A sense of humor was a trustworthy sign of recognition. Ever since, I have been terrified by a world that is losing its sense of humor.

    PR: In your last book, though, something else is involved. In a little parable you compare the laughter of angels with the laughter of the devil. The devil laughs because God’s world seems senseless to him; the angels laugh with joy because everything in God’s world has its meaning.

    MK: Yes, man uses the same physiologic manifestations–laughter–to express two different metaphysical attitudes. Someone’s hat drops on a coffin in a freshly dug grave, the funeral loses its meaning and laughter is born. Two lovers race through the meadow, holding hands, laughing. Their laughter has nothing to do with jokes or humor, it is the serious laughter of angels expressing their joy of being. Both kinds of laughter belong among life’s pleasures, but when it also denotes a dual apocalypse: the enthusiastic laughter of angel-fanatics, who are so convinced of their world’s significance that they are ready to hang anyone not sharing their joy. And the other laughter, sounding from the opposite side, which proclaims that everything has become meaningless, that even funerals are ridiculous and group sex a mere comical pantomime. Human life is bounded by two chasms: fanaticism on one side, absolute skepticism on the other.

    PR: What you now call the laughter of angels is a new term for the “lyrical attitude to life” of your previous novels. In one of your books you characterize the era of Stalinist terror as the reign of the hangman and the poet.

    MK: Totalitarianism is not only hell, but also the dream of paradise–the age old drama of a world where everybody would live in harmony, united by a single common will and faith, without secrets from one another. Andre Breton, too, dreamed of this paradise when he talked about the glass house in which he longed to live. If totalitarianism did not exploit these archetypes, which are deep inside us all and rooted deep in all religions, it could never attract so many people, especially during the early phases of its existence. Once the dream of paradise starts to turn into reality, however, here and there people begin to crop up who stand in its way, and so the rulers of paradise must build a little gulag on the side of Eden. In the course of time this gulag grows ever bigger and more perfect, while the adjoining paradise gets ever smaller and poorer.

    PR: In your book, the great French poet Eluard soars over paradise and gulag, singing. Is this bit of history which you mention in the book authentic?

    MK: After the war, Paul Eluard abandoned surrealism and became the greatest exponent of what I might call the “poesy of totalitarianism.” He sang for brotherhood, peace, justice, better tomorrows, he sang for comradeship and against isolation, for joy and against gloom, for innocence and against cynicism. When in 1950 the rulers of paradise sentenced Eluard’s Prague friend, the surrealist Zalvis Kalandra, to death by hanging, Eluard suppressed his personal feelings of friendship for the sake of supra-personal ideals, and publicly declared his approval of his comrade’s execution. The hangman killed while the poet sang.

    And not just the poet. The whole period of Stalinist terror was a period of collective lyrical delirium. This has by now been completely forgotten but it is the crux of the matter. People like to say: Revolution is beautiful, it is only the terror arising from it which is evil. But this is not true. The evil is already present in the beautiful, hell is already contained in the dream of paradise and if we wish to understand the essence of hell we must examine the essence of the paradise from which it originated. It is extremely easy to condemn gulags, but to reject the totalitarianism poesy which leads to the gulag, by way of paradise is as difficult as ever. Nowadays, people all over the world unequivocally reject the idea of gulags, yet they are still willing to let themselves be hypnotized by totalitarian poesy and to march to new gulags to the tune of the same lyrical song piped by Eluard when he soared over Prague like the great archangel of the lyre, while the smoke of Kalandra’s body rose to the sky from the crematory chimney.

    PR: What is so characteristic of your prose is the constant confrontation of the private and the public. But not in the sense that private stories take place against a political backdrop, nor that political events encroach on private lives. Rather, you continually show that political events are governed by the same laws as private happenings, so that your prose is a kind of psychoanalysis of politics.

    MK: The metaphysics of man is the same in the private sphere as in the public one. Take the other theme of the book, forgetting. This is the great private problem of man: death as the loss of the self. But what is this self? It is the sum of everything we remember. Thus what terrifies us about death is not the loss of the past. Forgetting is a form of death ever present within life. This is the problem of my heroine, in desperately trying to preserve the vanishing memories of her beloved dead husband. But forgetting is also the great problem of politics. When a big power wants to deprive a small country of its national consciousness it uses the method of organized forgetting . This is what is currently happening in Bohemia. Contemporary Czech literature, insofar as it has any value at all, has not been printed for 12 years; 200 Czech writers have been proscribed, including the dead Franz Kafka; 145 Czech historians have been dismissed from their posts, history has been rewritten, monuments demolished. A nation which loses awareness of its past gradually loses its self. And so the political situation has brutally illuminated the ordinary metaphysical problem of forgetting that we face all the time, every day, without paying any attention. Politics unmasks the metaphysics of private life, private life unmasks the metaphysics of politics.

    PR: In the sixth part of your book of variations the main heroine, Tamina, reaches an island where there are only children. In the end they hound her to death. Is this a dream, a fairy tale, an allegory?

    MK: Nothing is more foreign to me than allegory, a story invented by the author in order to illustrate some thesis. Events, whether realistic or imaginary, must be significant in themselves, and the reader is meant to be naively seduced by their power and poetry. I have always been haunted by this image, and during one period of my life it kept recurring in my dreams: A person finds himself in a world of children, from which he cannot escape. And suddenly childhood, which we all lyricize and adore, reveals itself as pure horror. As a trap. This story is not allegory. But my book is a polyphony in which various stories mutually explain, illumine, complement each other. The basic event of the book is the story of totalitarianism, which deprives people of memory and thus retools them into a nation of children. All totalitarianisms do this. And perhaps our entire technical age does this, with its cult of the future, its indifference to the past and mistrust of thought. In the midst of a relentlessly juvenile society, an adult equipped with memory and irony feels like Tamina on the isle of children.

    PR: Almost all your novels, in fact all the individual parts of your latest book, find their denouement in great scenes of coitus. Even that part which goes by the innocent name of “Mother” is but one long scene of three-way sex, with a prologue and epilogue. What does sex mean to you as a novelist?

    MK: These days, when sexuality is no longer taboo, mere description, mere sexual confession, has become noticeably boring. How dated Lawrence seems, or even Henry Miller, with his lyricism of obscenity! And yet certain erotic passages of George Bataille have made a lasting impression on me. Perhaps it is because they are not lyrical but philosophic. You are right that, with me everything ends in great erotic scenes. I have the feeling that a scene of physical love generates an extremely sharp light which suddenly reveals the essence of characters and sums up their life situation. Hugo makes love to Tamina while she is desperately trying to think about lost vacations with her dead husband. The erotic scene is the focus where all the themes of the story converge and where its deepest secrets are located.

    PR: The last part, the seventh, actually deals with nothing but sexuality. Why does this part close the book rather than another, such as the much more dramatic sixth party in which the heroine dies?

    MK: Tamina dies, metaphorically speaking, amid the laughter of angels. Through the last section of the book, on the other hand, resounds the contrary kind of laugh, the kind heard when things lose their meaning. There is a certain imaginary dividing line beyond which things appear senseless and ridiculous. A person asks himself: Isn’t it nonsensical for me to get up in the morning? to go to work? to strive for anything? to belong to a nation just because I was born that way? Man lives in close proximity to this boundary, and can easily find himself on the other side. That boundary exists everywhere, in all areas of human life and even in the deepest, most biological of all: sexuality. And precisely because it is the deepest region of life the question posed to sexuality is the deepest question. This is why my book of variations can end with no variation but this.

    PR: Is this, then, the furthest point you have reached in your pessimism?

    MK: I am wary of the words pessimism and optimism. A novel does not assert anything; a novel searches and poses questions. I don’t know whether my nation will perish and I don’t know which of my characters is right. I invent stories, confront one with another, and by this means I ask questions. The stupidity of people comes from having an answer for everything. When Don Quixote went out in the world, that world turned into a mystery before his eyes. That is the legacy of the first European novel to the entire subsequent history of the novel. The novelist teaches the reader to comprehend the world as a question. There is wisdom and tolerance in that attitude. In a world built on sacrosanct certainties the novel is dead. The totalitarian world, whether founded on Marx, Islam or anything else, is a world of answers rather than questions. There, the novel has no place. In any case, it seems to me that all over the world people nowadays prefer to judge rather than to understand, to answer rather than ask, so that the voice of the novel can hardly be heard over the noisy foolishness of human certainties.

    October 2025 Update: Funny, when I was doing literary research about Kundera in the 1980s, I thought I had found all the interviews with Kundera. But here’s another interview I totally missed: NYT had another interview with Olga Carlisle in 1985 (May 19, 1985, Section 6, Page 72) which is equally delightful (Gift Link). Here are two fun quotes (the first is a joke):

    A Czech man requests a visa to emigrate. The official asks him, ”Where do you want to go?” ”It doesn’t matter,” the man replies. He is given a globe. ”Please, choose.” The man looks at the globe, turns it slowly and says, ”Don’t you have another globe?”

    Life when one can’t hide from the eyes of others – that is hell. Those who have lived in totalitarian countries know it, but that system only brings out, like a magnifying glass, the tendencies of all modern society. The devastation of nature; the decline of thinking and of art; bureaucratization, depersonalization; lack of respect before personal life. Without secrecy, nothing is possible – not love, not friendship.

  • RIP Author & Literary Blogger Jake Seliger(1983-2024)

    If there ever was a Pulitzer Prize for blogging, then certainly Jake Seliger would have won it hands down for this year’s blogging….

    On August 7 Jake Seliger died of cancer at the age of 40. He had been fighting it for a while and last summer he made the shocking announcement on his blog that the cancer was terminal and acting quickly. Amazingly, Jake and his wife were able to get experimental treatments to prolong his life, but this outcome was (by his own admission) preordained. Before last summer’s announcement, Jake was a frequent blogger who blogged about literary and social topics. Amazingly, despite his ailments, he blogged harder and deeper than ever before. Some of those posts from the previous year are about his illness — and somewhat hard to read — but often he blogged about the usual topics — as though cancer were just a figment of the imagination. I’ve been busy catching up on his old blogposts — he’s been blogging for over 17 years and will be uncovering some great posts from years past. Here’s a thoughtful post from exactly a year ago — before Jake would travel down that long and harrowing roller coaster ride.

    His wife Bess Stillman has been blogging on Substack during the year as well. When Jake enters hospice, his wife (a physician and also a great writer) talks about how she made her peace with the outcome and reflecting on his death.

    One of the most amazing things about this year is that in addition to all the writing, they have regularly taken selfies of themselves during these awful times. They are a beautiful testament to their marriage and fidelity. It was a pleasant surprise to learn that Bess is pregnant with Jake’s baby. They are at the bottom of their blogposts.

    I left a long message on his final post:

    This last year has been an amazing year of blogging! You have gone to places which I never thought possible (and yet you still have thrown in some “normal posts” as well). If there was a Pulitzer Prize for blogging, then certainly you would have won it hands down for this year’s blogging….

    Back in my late thirties, I was still pretty gungho about web technologies and working in IT. Recovering from a romantic breakup, experimenting with different kinds of storytelling, impatient with the retro-conservativism of the Bush Administration (lord, if only I knew what would be coming later). That was where I was at during that stage of life. I certainly wasn’t pondering mortality or stoicism or anything philosophical. I was rewatching the Blues Brothers, playing around with Python and cameras and trying to read Petrarch. It was shortly after that time that my reading dropped off significantly, though I have picked it up again in the last 5 years or so). In comparison, I feel as though you have traveled around the world several times (metaphorically speaking) while I was still learning how to walk. Of course, nobody could have predicted or sought out your path, and frankly good health and time is a luxury that people take for granted until they can’t.

    I’m glad to hear that Bess is expecting a child. How promising. I’ve been watching the charming TV series on Apple+, Lessons in Chemistry. One of the main characters dies unexpectedly in an early episode while the girlfriend is pregnant. By the end of the series, the baby grows up into a precocious little girl who is driven to find out more about her father (and stumbles upon some amazing insights into the man without ever meeting him). You’ve certainly led a full life — and your wife certainly will preserve your memories. I’m sure that will be enough material offline and online to appease your child’s curiosity about you when she grows older.

    As I said, I know that hospice is the next logical step (and yes, the final one), but from the perspective of a reader and fellow blogger, I feel as though my contact with you and your writing is only just beginning. I can see by the comments how many people your life and words have already touched (and WILL TOUCH). Thanks for generously sharing this last year with readers like me — even when it must have been painful and harrowing and exhausting. Please enjoy the rest of your time as best as you possibly can.

    I am glad I had time to give that final message — which hopefully Jake was able to read. It’s funny. I’ve been blogging for a few years longer than Jake, but I admit I never really felt obligated to post regularly. Sometimes weeks — and even months — have gone by without my posting a thing. In fact I have sometimes questioned the value of spending too much time on the blogging thing. (Similarly, I don’t post too much on social media even though I have streaks where I simply don’t shut up online). Part of the reason is that nobody really reads bloggers anymore (perhaps they never did), and blogging is something you do to document recent intellectual discoveries. I’ve going to be saying a LOT more about this topic in a longer post — stay tuned. Ha, ha, it will be a while before I write this post, but I’m pretty sure I will title it, “The Itch that must be scratched”.

    A year ago I started digging into Jake Seliger’s blog archives, but frankly, it will take a long time to go through everything.

    In the meantime, I’ve been digging through Jake’s blog archives — there’s a lot to discover or rediscover. Eventually I’ll do several megaposts on some of Jake’s literary stuff (which were always interesting and fun to read).

  • The Awesomeness Score: A Rubric for Measuring a Story’s Power

    I’m constantly trying to assess the value of story ideas and completed stories. As an editor, I want to pick stories that are the most inviting and enjoyable. As an author, I need a way to guess the story’s power and value before I write it — and after I write it.

    I can talk about aspects or values that a great story should have. Truthfully though a great story doesn’t need to have all of these aspects. Also prose and story structure are tightly integrated. You can’t just make something better unless you change everything. Sometimes that just isn’t possible. A story can succeed spectacularly well in one aspect and still be a mediocre story. You can have a great premise or a great character or a great plot twist, but the rest of the story can be so-so. Sometimes wit and eloquence makes a bad story great — or at least worth reading. Even a story may be lacking in some of the fundamentals (great style, succinct writing, memorable character, etc.) but still be a compelling read.

    A story could have great ideas or insights into humanity and still be dull. Conversely, a story can be fun to read or entertaining, and be utterly forgettable. Novelty — do you really need it? Some stories can be amazing and yet be predictable or unoriginal. A plot could be fascinating, but the protagonist could be wooden or speak in cliches.

    In education rubrics have taken over grades, especially in a subject as wishy washy as writing. You can’t really assign a numerical value to a work of art, but it’s nice to set criteria and assign relative importance to them. I prepared a literary rubric for evaluating stories by myself and others as a nice way to rank and compare. It’s possible that self-evaluations may be inherently flawed. Writers may be too close to their own work to be properly able to assign it a value. Even if I am scoring other people’s stories, I may appreciate certain story aspects that most readers don’t care about.

    I have spent a day or two coming up with a rubric or scale which I can live with.

    Primary Qualities: 1-5 points each x 3 (5-15 points)

    I picked 5 important criteria for scoring a story. I’d like to think that these criteria are independent of one another, but that is not exactly true. Sometimes what makes a story excellent in one aspect will make another aspect excellent as well. Also, some of these criteria attempt to be about intrinsic qualities, while others are more about the response they provoke in a reader. Let me list these quickly.

    I put primary qualities on a 5 point scale (with 5 being best). Then I multiplied the total by 3 (so a 4 would really be a 12, etc. ) Another thing. It’s often possible for a great story to be totally deficient in one criterion, so there’s nothing wrong with ranking such a story low on that quality. The point of this whole exercise is to provide a scoring system that allows unusual works to be rated highly. But no story can be everything.

    • Ease of Reading. A story published in 2024 needs to be inviting for the contemporary reader. The reader can’t be expected to work hard to get immersed in a story. Contemporary readers are impatient and lazy. They could be watching a movie or playing a video game. An ornate or unusual style (say something like Faulkner) can be appreciated for what it is, and maybe a reader can warm up to it, but the first duty for a story is to be read. Frankly, if you need to be a grad student with a free weekend to get into something, that is asking a lot. This involves a simple style, unambiguous meanings, brevity, apparent structure. So what about Proust? Faulkner? Joyce? Personally I’d rank most of Faulkner a 1, Proust a 2, Joyce a 1 or 2. On the other hand, Milan Kundera would be a 5; so would Stephen King and some of Kurt Vonnegut. On the other hand, I don’t think the stories of King or Vonnegut as inherently better, just different.
    • So what? Insights into the Human Condition? Why was a story worth the writer’s time to write (and the reader to read)? Ideally it should be clear what the reader learns about the human condition or the world after finishing the story. Often what the writer thinks may not be what the reader thinks, but isn’t it the writer’s job to justify the value of the story to the reader? By the end, the reader should be able to say, “This was important for me to read because …” Maybe there are uncertainties or no clear answers. Maybe the insight is that all insights are flawed or limited. Maybe the point of a story is simply to recognize that X is more important than Y. Underlying this is the sense that the story accurately conveyed some truth about the real world even though it’s just a story. It’s not always necessary for a story to convey truths about external reality. But it helps and certainly makes the reader feel that reading it was worth doing.
    • Insights into Character? It’s always great when a character or several characters strike you as life-life and memorable. The reader has to want to meet this character and see how and why he changed over time. Sure, a character may be a witch or a demon or a rat or a dead person, but the character should arouse some feeling in the reader (positive or negative), and the story should allow the reader to see how events change that character’s perspective. Sometimes an author can vary viewpoints in a longer story or novel and thus provide insights into more than one character. But it’s hard enough to portray just one character.
    • Enjoyment/Pleasure/Thrill. Basically a good story should have something amazing or sexy — something that makes the dreary act of reading worth it. It can be a fun plot point or an achievement by one of the characters. It can be a super power or revelation or a consummation of love. It can be a lovely fantasy or a sensual thrill or the unraveling of a mystery. I guess you could call it a “climax” or “resolution” or maybe just a transcendent moment. In truth though a number of stories don’t produce good feelings; they can be dark or sad or tragic. In those cases, the “pleasure of the text” can provide nothing more than a catharsis. Stories don’t need to bring some kind of literary high, but really it helps. If a story is grim or about a depressing subject like war, it can still be worth reading; it just won’t score high on this quality. Often this quality is delivered in a specific scene or chapter; it does not have to provide constant excitement or enjoyment.
    • Surprise/Suspense. A good story should offer something unexpected or disconcerting or shocking. It’s similar to suspense — not knowing what’s going to happen, but wanting to find out. The paradox is that you have to create expectations in order to subvert them. I could write a book loaded with surprises, but if I did that, nothing would be surprising. I have to create a baseline and a narrative pattern in order to subvert it. Are surprises or suspense always necessary? No, but they help the reader keep reading.

    So each primary quality has 1-5 points (all of which are multiplied by 3). Because you have 5 primary qualities, then the score range for all of them would be 25-75 points.

    Bonus: Nice to have qualities (0-4 points each)

    Below are some nice-to-have qualities for a story. They are not as crucial to making a story enjoyable. For this reason they can add from 0-4 bonus points to the overall score.

    • Style/Eloquence/Wit/Poetry/Verbal Pyrotechnics. Sometimes you can read something mediocre and yet still be wowed by the wit and eloquence. Sometimes it manifests as wit; sometimes it manifests as verbal ebullience or poetic descriptions. It is easy to recognize the wit in Oscar Wilde, or the ebullience of James Joyce or the careful language of Henry James. These qualities can sometimes make up for shortcomings in plot or character. As much as these qualities are a delight to find, they are not really required for a story (aside from a certain compactness). This was a lesson I learned late in my writing career. Not all sentences have to shine — especially if it’s a building block for a story or dramatic moment. Sometimes in fact this eloquence can be distracting or make a story hard to read. Proust and James and Joyce can be fun to read, but also strenuous.
    • Informative/Educational. Fiction can sometimes educate a reader about certain aspects of society or innovations or cultural habits that a reader wouldn’t normally come in contact with. A novel can bear witness or offer insight into how people turned out a certain way. Doctors can educate readers about diseases or what happens in a hospital; a computer expert can reveal the process to investigate a computer hacking. An erotic novel can reveal the strange kinks of certain couples. Sometimes this consciousness-raising has political significance. Sometimes the informational value of a literary work matters less than its aesthetic qualities. On the other hand, it can be fun to learn about new places and societies (real or imagined). A story can teach you about beauty pageants or prisons or Egyptology or skateboarding.
    • Worldbuilding — Sense of the World. Some fiction — especially science fiction or adventure novels — can present a world that is convincing and easy to imagine inhabiting. The ability to build a world within a novel can be a challenge. How do you describe a world and present the story simultaneously? Most readers don’t want to read a chapter that simply describes all the buildings and forests. The author typically doesn’t have that luxury. Instead the author must reveal things gradually while the plot is taking place. A good storyteller can do it in a way that doesn’t seem forced or slow. In movies worldbuilding has a lot to do with visuals and sound and special effects. But in fiction you have to mention just the right amount of detail that suggests a reality without drowning the reader in unnecessary detail.
    • Crazy Novelty. Sometimes a literary technique or story premise is so unusual that a reader will enjoy it as such (regardless of what it means or how well it is executed). Author Alberto Balengo wrote a story about a breakfast taco that takes over the world– maximum points for originality! But that does not make the story good or worth reading. Stories need to have a fresh perspective and relatable characters, but absolute novelty is not necessary (especially if it results in reader confusion). It’s a nice bonus, but that’s all.

    Subtractions: Undesirable qualities (0-3 Points)

    Here’s a list of qualities a story might possess that render them less interesting and beautiful and readable. This can be subjective, depending on the individual. I don’t know why I assigned 0-3 points for these qualities, except to mean that the presence of these qualities is not fatal for making a good story. But I think that most readers notice these shortcomings.

    • The Story Drags. There may be many reasons that a story may drag. There might be too much exposition, too much description, too much emphasis on minutia, too much dialogue, too much introspection. There’s a mismatch between what the author thinks is needed and what the reader thinks is needed. Sometimes in fact the reader’s laziness or inattention may be to blame. Often the underlying problem is that the reader is not sufficiently invested in the story or character to care about these details. Often this may be due to reader incompetence in constructing transitions. Sometimes a good story can have great parts and parts that drag. No story can maintain a high level of interest. Sometimes a little dullness is necessary to convey a sense of waiting and to throw out a number of details to distract from other important details. For example, a mystery needs to have enough red herrings to throw the reader off track. Perhaps the reader can truly gauge how much a story drags after finishing it. Maybe during the second read what seemed to drag now seems more interesting or important.
    • Cliched Emotions. Often a reader can anticipate what the emotional tone of a story will be. If the emotional stimulants or catharsis are too predictable, the reader can grow bored. Not every event or emotion needs to be a surprise, but if the emotional journey follows a predictable path, it becomes less important. Sometimes in fact a story needs to deliver exactly what is promised. Sometimes there is only a limited number of ways to express emotions in extreme situations. But the path to getting there needs to be interesting and insightful. If not, then the emotional reactions can seem forced and cliched.
    • Stereotyped Characters. Not every character needs to be unique and interesting. Secondary characters (flat characters) may have only one or two qualities which are revealed in a story. Sometimes an author has no choice but to include several characters which the reader will never need to know. Even the major characters can be predictable and easy to figure out. Some of this involves an author’s lack of effort or laziness; some of it may simply be that the character does not really need to be individualized. Think of a head cheerleader, an Arthurian knight, a janitor, an elderly Southern lady, an astronaut. I often hear that characters in sci fi novels are not memorable or individualized. Maybe so, but they do need to be for the story to work?

    Similar to the cliched emotions listed above, for the characters to come alive and be identifiable, they have to run counter to stereotype in some way. Think of who the head cheerleader at a high school who everyone wants to date. Did you think of her with the high school quarterback or some athlete? What about the head of the chess team? Or a lesbian? Or a dorky high musician in the high school jazz band? Maybe she doesn’t want to date at all? Maybe she wants to date a brooding poet? A protagonist can have simple or identifiable goals or desires, but the more that this character conforms to social expectations, the less likely the reader will find her to be complex and interesting.

    What this All Means

    So what is the point of this exercise?

    I recently edited a story collection by a distinguished author. I had to choose which stories would go into the anthology from dozens. I wanted to showcase the author’s best, yet many of the stories were uneven or even unpleasant. They were not bad stories per se, just not fun or enlightening to read. Some of the stories were maudlin or cruel or unimportant. (To be fair, some of these stories were written during the writer’s early years when he was still getting the hang of things). The scoring system provided a way for me to rank the stories among several criteria, and that was helpful. I ended up leaving a few low-ranked stories in the collection because they were so special and remarkable despite the low score. After I did this, I applied this scoring system to other story collections I edited (and to one I even wrote myself). I wanted to check whether the final score gibed with my impressions about the values of individual stories. Did some stories end up scoring higher than I would have thought? I thought I did a good job of creating criteria that could be considered independently. But sometimes a positive quality can be less important than one might think…or maybe it could even turn out to be a negative.

    This scoring system also gave me a way to evaluate or rank my own stories and story ideas. On another level, the scoring system and the formula —

    Total Score =3 X (SUM OF PRIMARY QUALITIES) + (SUM OF BONUS QUALITIES) – (SUM OF UNDESIRABLE QUALITIES)

    revealed my personal aesthetic and values for fiction. For example, I give more importance to Pleasure and Ease of Reading and less importance to Novelty and Eloquence and Information. I suspect that sci fi readers might reverse these things. Indeed, I’m not very sympathetic to genres like mystery (which is reflected mainly in how I designated the So What? criteria as a primary quality). A good detective story might entertain and inform, but it’s doubtful that it would reveal some deep existential truth.

    I could have changed the mathematical parts of this scoring formula. These are totally arbitrary things that reflect my intuition. Curiously, after scoring a group of stories one day, on another day I scored the same stories again — to see if a new day might have caused me to score them differently. Actually the way I scored seemed pretty consistent — although I feel pretty sure that another reader might assign a totally different score. This rubric is highly personal.

    Changing Literary Standards

    Over the last decade I have become aware of how literary standards have been changing. It has reached the point where I am no longer sure whether I know what a younger reader might consider good.

    Here are some things that seem to have changed.

    There’s a lot more overlap between “literary” and “genre” fiction. This is only a vague sense, but I feel like the typical genre story is much better written than it used to be. Also I find that a higher percent of stories are associated with a specific genre that not.

    Readers have become more female (in the USA). Silly me, I used to think that being an author was a masculine sport, but with more females going to college and studying the humanities and occupying prominent positions in the publishing world, the woman’s perspective is beginning to prevail. Who knows what that means? More family sagas, less swashbuckling, more fantasy over sci fi, less explicit sex. These are generalizations; perhaps I’m way offbase. I definitely am aware of how the feminization of the book world has changed how certain stories are received. It used to be that females would end up having to read a lot of male-centered fiction (especially before the 20th century) while male readers would generally ignore female authors. In that sense females would be more ambidextrous in being able to read both kinds of books. Now it seems that the tables have been turned; females no longer need to read traditionally male kinds of stories, and it is the male reader who needs to be more flexible about what he reads.

    More transmedia storytelling. (i.e., videogames, TV shows, movies). I guess I should be grateful that more studios are trying to adapt books to other mediums. In the 20th century it was probably true that authors adopted cinematic techniques in their narratives. But now it’s more than that. Books written today are not just incorporating cinematic storytelling effects, they are being written specifically to facilitate adaptation into another medium. Sure, when you’re adapting a novel, you need to rethink and even re-imagine a lot of things. But mainstream publishers gravitate towards works that are easy to adapt into other mediums. This is not a bad thing, but I think if a work has less drama and dialogue and more internal action, they are less likely to be touched by a big publisher. Conversely, I think there is more tolerance for literary works created for a specific shared universe (Marvel comics, Star Trek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, etc.)

    More rehash of magic and literary tropes. Let me pick two phenomena to illustrate: Zombies and Time Travel. I simply fail to understand why so many books and TV shows are made about zombies. (I even wrote a funny story about the phenomenon). And yet they do. Time Travel continues to be popular if only because it is fun and easy to write. (Here’s my rant about time travel movies). Sure, it is fun to imagine some character in the past being handed information about what will happen 10 or 20 years later. All an author really needs to do is hand-waving about the technology, then do research about the time period being described.

    Zombies continues to be popular on TV and movies because they are soulless and therefore not deserving of human compassion. (The same for Daleks, and robots and such). So you can kill them all you want and never have to grapple with ethical questions. That turns all zombie stories into videogames.

    Magic and fantasy have a place in literary works even (especially?) for adults. But somehow having a magic potion or superpower seems less disruptive than time travel themes — which disrupt the very nature of narrative. In a way, when someone edits and sequences a movie or story, they are already moving time around to decide upon the optimal sequence — in terms of flashbacks and foreshadowing. They don’t need to insert a new system for going through time. I mean, when Rip Van Winkle fell asleep and awoke again, he was essentially travelling through time — and the author didn’t need to subvert physical reality.

    Personal Preferences

    I’m a fussy reader. Sometimes I dismiss certain types of stories because of what they are or appear to be. Some of it is based upon past experience. Some of it has to do with my peculiar emotional and intellectual needs. Also, I’m kind of lazy. I don’t want to read the same kind of story more than once. When I think that a story by an unknown author is going to use a familiar recipe, I toss it aside.

    Better authors often write variants of the same story over and over. That’s probably okay. Previous experience with an author can make a reader more amenable to whatever the author writes about — regardless of genre or subject matter. If Raymond Carver were to write a piece of hard science fiction or an erotica story, I’d be happy to read it — if only for curiosity’s sake. At the same time, if I were asked to read a Western novel or a vampire story, chances are that I will read it with condescension (or even contempt). I bring a lot of biases with me as a reader1.

    These reading biases may affect the way I score stories. It could potentially color the score I give for enjoyment/pleasure/thrill. Also ease of reading and crazy/novelty can be subjective. Ultimately though, these criteria — while dependent on individual reading biases to some extent, nonetheless can be assessed — especially in comparison with other stories. I might belong to the rarefied few who find pleasure and even thrill from reading a Henry James story, but how would my score on this criteria compare to a story by Philip K Dick or Stephen King or Max Schulman? Chances are, stories by these 3 authors would receive a higher score on that criteria even from someone who loves Henry James.

    In a way though, scoring a story depends on these individual preferences. My scores may not align with those of other readers (even if they are internally consistent). Even though I have tried my best to identify discrete criteria, other readers can come up with other meaningful criteria. Here (off the top of my head) are some alternative criteria for assessing a story’s awesomeness:

    • Ability to raise relevant social questions
    • Ability to highlight overlooked aspects of society
    • Ability to emotionally involve the reader (to stir romantic feelings or sadness)
    • Ability to expose the individual to harsh realities
    • Ability to explore the repercussions of a new technology or social phenomenon
    • Ability to help make an older time period seem real or fresh
    • Ability to get into the mind of a well-known figure from the past
    • Ability to expose the reader to a variety of perspectives with different value systems
    • Ability to teach an important life lesson.
    • Ability to convey an overall sense of the world (as absurd, beautiful, horrifying, etc.)
    • Ability to illustrate a fundamental spiritual truth of the world
    • Ability to introduce a mystery and show how the secret behind this mystery is solved

    These are all valid criteria for assessing a story, but they are more thematic and maybe more about consciousness-raising.

    In contrast, the criteria I proposed originally are more about techniques and whether a story elicits an emotional response. There’s some overlap between my criteria and the thematic criteria. For example, the So What? Insights into the Human Condition criteria encompass a lot of the thematic issues about justice and morality and social consciousness. On the other hand, I can imagine stories that rank highly on my criteria not being particularly effective at engaging with the themes listed above.

    One limitation of using thematic criteria is that it seems to encourage the writing of stories which check as many boxes as possible. A single story can’t be expected to do everything for all people. In fact, some stories are only good at doing one or two things very well. That’s perfectly all right. (Indeed, it seems to argue against tabulating an overall score regardless of the criteria).

    Criteria for Longer Forms and Different Media

    A longer and more expansive form like the novel offers more possibilities than a short story. The novel can contain stories, verse, dialogue, digressions, essays. It can alternate between characters and show their interactions. A good novel can tackle lots of different themes and moods and characters and conflicts without devolving into chaos. The best novels can sequence events in a way that seem natural and effortless. Perhaps the longer sprawling novels from the 19th century might seem unwieldly to 21st century readers, but then again, the 19th century didn’t have movies and Netflix to distract them.

    The “awesomeness” score I have introduced might work for short stories, but what about novels or movies? What about serial storytelling — which keeps expanding to include more characters and places and plots?

    Consider two examples of serial (transmedia) storytelling: Star Trek and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Both began as very successful TV series, and then they branched out into other TV shows and episodes with different characters and plots. Now they have branched out into novels and graphic novels and by now probably audio plays and video games. Conversely, some classic literature has led to countless adaptations and serializations (King Arthur and Sherlock Holmes are two that come to mind).

    A novel is more self-contained (and easier to consider individually), but later novels in a series can benefit from having readymade characters and backstory from previous volumes. It’s no longer necessary to clutter a book with exposition. If everything is structured the right way, it becomes relatively easy to extend the storyverse indefinitely.

    Some criteria pertain mainly to the reading experience and a narrative’s textual qualities. Although movies and TV shows provide ample opportunity for witty dialogue and eloquence, written prose can also bring subjectivity, stream-of-consciousness and private thoughts. Diction and the very sequence of words can introduce mystery, ambiguity, attitude.

    On the other hand, some of these criteria apply equally well to the visual medium. Plot and character matter just as much in a movie as in a story or novel. So does pacing, novelty and the element of surprise.

    Similarly, if you wanted to invent an awesomeness score for visual storytelling, you can probably list some criteria specific to the genre — color, visual composition, production design, the flow of movement, the use of sound. You could also talk about the quality of acting and the overall ability to evoke a world.

    Conclusion: So what?!

    I already mentioned that I created this rubric for a very practical reason — trying to decide which stories to include in a story collection by Jack Matthews. (BTW, that ebook is called Boxes of Time more information here). But I expanded on the idea purely as an intellectual exercise — and perhaps for my entertainment and edification.

    I used the word “rubric” from education terminology, but the analogy is not quite precise. When a teacher makes a rubric, it implies that these are the main ways to score an assignment or test — and indeed, that students need to know what the rubric is when doing the assignment.

    But you can’t really do that when writing a story. I can’t just decide, “Hey, I’m going to write a story that is easy to read and high in suspense and insight into characters.” It doesn’t really help the writer to know beforehand what criteria is important for making a good story; you need a good story first!

    The writer (and I guess the AI chatbot) will generate lots of premises or characters or conflicts; that requires a certain level of talent. But it’s also important to intuit which ideas have legs — and can quickly run on their own volition. It’s impossible to know these things with 100% certainty unless you actually do it. There have been times when I have been less than enthusiastic about a story idea, but as I try to write it out, I find a lot of interesting things underneath the premise. I have been pleasantly surprised when this happens — and discover that I have turned out to have written a wonderful story — almost by accident. Let me clear: this does not happen often. Sometimes I begin with a semi-decent idea, and it just putters away into insignificance — (and I feel the guilt and shame of not having turned it into something better).

    It can be challenging to know how much time and energy to devote to a single idea. Time is very limited. Maybe the commercially successful author has enough financial stability to flesh out many story ideas regardless of the rewards, but most writers don’t have that luxury. They can only pursue a small subset of their dreams. So they better damn be sure that these are the ideas they absolutely want to write about.

    It’s not just for creative projects. What about essays or blogposts? (It is true, several times during the writing of this essay, I asked myself, shouldn’t I be doing X or Y instead?) You would think that in the creative world it is generally better to finish everything you do. But I abandon projects all the time — but sometimes not voluntarily. It just happens. Life becomes busy, and then when things settle down, I lack the motivation to pick the old thing up and flesh it out and polish it.

    The awesomeness rubric also serves as a reality check for my ongoing ideas and help me to prioritize my time. A score is just a number. It’s something I assign arbitrarily. But it’s also a temperature check to let me know whether I still think an ongoing idea still feels awesome.


    Notes:

    1. Despite my judginess, it’s fun to cleanse the palate by reading something light-hearted and unchallenging — and yes, occasionally I stumble upon something far more brilliant than I could have imagined. ↩︎
  • Poem: At Memphis Station by Johannes V. Jensen (1983-1950)

    Here is an English translation of a poem by Danish author Johannes V. Jensen (1873-19550) who won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1944. I found this translation in a 1923 collection of translated Danish verse.This translation was by U.S. Poet S. Foster Damon. All the translations in this collection are in the public domain in the U.S.A. Enjoy!

    (Update: Apparently the blog’s style sheets make it hard to make stanza breaks. Instead, I am adding periods between each stanza. Kludgy, but it works.

    At Memphis Station

    Half-awake and half-dozing,

    in an inward seawind of danaid dreams,

    I stand and gnash my teeth

    at Memphis Station, Tennessee.

    It is raining.

    .

    The night is so barren, extinguished,

    and the rain scourges the earth

    with a dark, idiotic energy.

    Everything is soggy and impassable.

    .

    Why are we held up, hour upon hour?

    Why should my destiny be stopped here?

    Have I fled rain and soul-corrosion

    in Denmark, India, and Japan,

    to be rain-bound, to rot, in Memphis,

    Tennessee, U.S. A.?

    .

    And now it dawns. Drearily light oozes

    down over this damp jail.

    The day uncovers mercilessly

    the frigid rails and all the black mud,

    the waiting-room with the slot-machine,

    orange peels, cigar-and match-stumps.

    The day grins through with spewing roof-gutters,

    and the infinite palings of rain,

    rain, say I, from heaven and to earth.

    .

    How deaf the world is, and immovable!

    How banal the Creator!

    And why do I go on paying dues

    at this plebeian sanatorium of an existence!

    .

    Stillness. See how the engine,

    the enormous machine, stands calmly and seethes;

    shrouding itself in smoke, it is patient.

    Light your pipe on a fasting heart,

    damn God, and swallow your sorrow!

    .

    Yet go and stay in Memphis!

    Your life, after all, is nothing but

    a sickening drift of rain, and your fate

    was always to be belated in some miserable waiting-room or other—

    Stay in Memphis, Tennessee!

    .

    For within one of these bill-shouting houses,

    happiness awaits you, happiness,

    if you can only gulp down your impatience—

    and here there is sleeping a buxom young girl

    with one ear lost in her hair;

    she will come to encounter you

    some fine day on the street,

    like a wave of fragrance,

    looking as though she knew you.

    .

    Is it not spring?

    Does the rain not fall richly?

    Is there not the sound of an amorous murmur,

    a long, subdued conversation of love mouth to mouth

    between the rain and the earth?

    The day began so sadly,

    but now, see the rainfall brighten!

    Do you not allow the day its right of battle?

    So now it is light. And there is a smell of mould

    from between the rusted underpinning of the platform

    mingled with the rain-dust’s rank breath—

    a suggestion of spring—

    is that no consolation?

    .

    And now see, see how the Mississippi

    in its bed of flooded forest

    wakes against the day!

    See how the titanic river revels in its twisting!

    How royally it dashes through its bends, and swings the rafts

    of trees and torn planks in its whirls!

    See how it twirls a huge stern-wheeler

    in its deluge-arms

    like a dancer,

    master of the floor!

    See the sunken headland—oh, what immense,primeval peace

    over the landscape of drowned forests!

    Do you not see how the current’s dawn-waters

    clothe themselves mile-broad in the day’s cheap light,

    and wander healthily under the teeming clouds!

    .

    Pull yourself together, irreconcilable man!

    Will you never forget that you have been promised Eternity?

    Will you grudge the earth its due, your poor gratitude?

    What would you do, with your heart of love?

    .

    Pull yourself together, and stay in Memphis;

    announce yourself in the market as a citizen;

    go in and insure yourself among the others;

    pay your premium of vulgarity,

    so that they can know they are safe, as regards you,

    and you will not be fired out of the club.

    Court the damosel with roses and gold rings,

    and begin your saw-mill, like other people.

    Yank on your rubbers regularly …

    Look about you, smoke your sapient pipe

    in sphinx-deserted Memphis …

    .

    Ah! there comes that miserable freight-train

    which has kept us waiting six hours.

    It rolls in slowly—with smashed sides;

    it pipes weakly; the cars limp on three wheels;

    and the broken roof drips with clay and slime.

    But in the tender, among the coals,

    lie four still forms

    covered with bloody coats.

    .

    Then our huge express-locomotive snorts;

    advances a little; stops, sighing deeply;

    and stands crouched for the leap. The track is clear.

    .

    And we travel onward

    through the flooded forest

    under the rain’s gaping sluices.

  • I’d Rather Be Reading T-shirt: Cheatsheet

    Yesterday I had a strange desire to buy one or more T-shirts that proudly proclaim that “I’d rather be reading.” 

    I don’t normally wear T-shirts and especially message-oriented T-shirts. Also, some T-shirts are downright uncomfortable, and the printing is substandard. Sometimes they shrink too much and don’t fit well. But occasionally I find a T-shirt that both looks and feels good, and I don’t get rid of it for years.

    But I really like a pro-reading message, especially one that’s not too cute or clever. I’m aiming for color and style and possibly elegance. I looked through lots of designs associated with this message and picked these three winners. I actually intend to return either the first or second, depending on how it fits. Each of these costs about $20 which is probably a little overpriced, but I need to check out what’s available at what price.

    The third design in teal comes from Teepublic. The first and second come from Amazon. Apparently according to this guy on Youtube, the Teepublic shirts (made of “100% combed ringspun cotton”)   are the softest and best-fitting; the Amazon shirts are in the middle of the pack. Other factors are certainly involved: do they shrink? Does the design on the material feel noticeably distinct from the rest of the shirt? Also, do the shirt colors fade gracefully? I shall test my purchases and report back.

    In terms of messaging, you can search for T-shirts by searching for “Bookworm” and “”books”. I actually found several interesting designs and pro-book messages after purchasing these 3.  I may purchase a few more over time. But the three designs shown above are general and overly simple and direct. I hemmed and hawwed about that third design, but I don’t know. I really like that faceless little guy carrying the books (and nearly bumping into the letters).

    Maybe people don’t realize this, but a lot of T-shirts are printed on the fly. That’s what both Teepublic and Amazon does, and probably all the others. It’s worth asking whether these things generally last and whether the raw material is using slave labor in some developing country. I shall report back about that as well.

    Clothing and Fitting Issues

    Here’s a nice introduction to T-shirt purchasing from the fashion and consumer point of view. If anything it explains terminology.

    Figuring out the size can be a challenge. There are several ways to measure your size, and you never know if the size is going to fit exactly. Trial and error is probably the main strategy you can take.

    I’m a Men’s XL size, but I’ve tried several XXL shirts that seem to fit me better.

    Washing and Caring for Your Shirt

    Recently I bought several shirts at my Goodwill, and I realize that I just need to take better care of my shirts. Everything will be washed in cold and dried as a delicate. I have no idea what effect this will have on the lifespan of these shirts.

    Wearing T-shirts — The Fashion Angle

    It’s not certain how often it is appropriate to wear a T-shirt in public. Certainly in Houston it depends on the weather. In the summer it’s very hot, and these T-shirts may seem too casual for most situations. I tried to choose T-shirts that didn’t look too ratty, but who knows how they will be in real life.

    I needed to buy several more shirts, and frankly, I have a bad habit of never throwing shirts away no matter how horrible they look. (I call them “inside shirts” because I wear them only in the privacy of my own home). Now that I bought some Goodwill shirts and have some Rather Be Reading T-shirts en route, I probably can throw away 10 old shirts and not significantly deplete my wardrobe.

    Conclusions

    I am toying with the idea of commissioning an artist to make a special “I’d Rather be Reading” shirt for Personville Press. Stay tuned.

    Jan 1 2024 Update! I love all the T-shirts. I notice that the Amazon sizes feel smaller than what I’m used to. I had to order XXL instead of the usual XL. (The sizes for Teepublic were fine). It’s true that the Teepublic shirt was slightly softer and more comfortable than Amazon’s shirts, but not by much (hardly noticeable). Despite what the reviewer said, I could certainly feel that the design parts of the shirt felt different, but all of them were comfortable. I did notice that the man with the books logo came out a lot larger on the shirt than expected. The black shirt with the open book looked the best — and it didn’t have too much lettering on it. So that’s now my favorite.

    Photos

    Author Robert Nagle in his "Id Rather be Reading" T-shirt, Jan 2024
  • A blogger prepares to say goodbye — Links, Links, Links

    [Clearly I will be writing a lot more about Seliger’s blog and related topics. This was something I threw together quickly after hearing the news last year. Here’s my thoughts right after about his death. Stay tuned for my adventures about digging through the archives of Jake’s blog!]

    A week ago I learned the terrible news that Jake Seliger, who ran the great blog Story’s Story blog, was afflicted with a terrible cancer and probably has weeks to live. Jake has been blogging since 2006 (translation: forever in blogging time), and I’ve been following his blog off and on for at last a decade, probably longer. I’ve emailed him several times and we share several literary obsessions and we’ve traded various book announcements. Jake has written two books, and I’m just getting to reading The Hook, which is an academic novel (a novel that takes place at a university, a subject that Jake found fascinating).

    Jake has always been a terrific blogger — and a prolific one too (unlike me). At certain times I used to read his blog every day or so. Then for a while, I stopped using RSS readers and my bookmarks got all disorganized. I totally forgot his blog for up to a year, then suddenly remembered and I was back to following him again (Hey, life is like that sometimes). Even this year, I would forget to check his blog, and then catch up several weeks. I had actually made a mental note to give a longer response to one or two of his posts, but haven’t had time in the past few weeks to do so.

    I don’t want to get too philosophical here, but it’s easy to take the status quo for granted. In the past few years, I had two college friends (Jay and Mary) pass away unexpectedly. I wouldn’t call either one close friends (mainly because these two people were very social people with an active circle of friends, and I was an introvert), but I certainly enjoyed their company, and for a time at college we hung around one another every day. We were in the same circle of friends, so we had a lot of common experiences. I could have spend a dandy weekend with either of them, and we could have had great fun. And I sure felt devastated when they were gone.

    Jake is in his late 30s. He got his master’s and Phd in English fairly quickly and then turned away from academia (presumably because of the lack of job opportunities). But he did a lot of grant writing and even started a business doing that for the last decade. I don’t know how much he enjoyed it, but it’s the sort of niche that people with literature backgrounds fall into, particularly because they can do it so well.

    I don’t really know Jake because I never met him, but I definitely know his blog and his writing style. This page (a work in progress) is going to contain some of the more interesting blogposts from Jake’s two blogs. For now, I just want to provide a series of annotated links (but I won’t be quoting). Maybe I’ll comment on them or respond to individual pieces in a later post.

    About his Illness

    • How do we evaluate our lives, at the end? What counts, what matters? “One estimate finds that about 117 billion anatomically modern humans have ever been born; I don’t know how accurate the “117 billion” number really is, but it seems reasonable enough, and about 8 billion people live now; in other words, around 7% of the humans who have ever lived are living now. I’ve had the privilege to be one.” (RJN: This beautiful farewell essay is designed to say all the important things. It’s really hard to follow that. Let’s see if Jake has the mental space left to post anything more after that).
    • I am dying of squamous cell carcinoma and the treatments that might save me just out reach. Besides breaking the bad news, this post argues for the “right to try” unproven forms of treatment.
    • What it’s like to be married to a dying man by his wife Bess Stillman M.D. A really profound reflection on the inevitability of loss and coping with it. Bess’s medical background ensures that Jake is now receiving the best care available. Bess is quite an accomplished storyteller herself; Her piece How to Say It (Youtube) is about how doctors are trained to talk about death around their patients. (also reproduced in Moth Presents: Occasional Magic which I bought a few years ago). Her Oath story starts with “I was 28 years old the first time I killed a man” (which tells about another the pressure of dealing with patients in crisis).

    Practical Guides

    • How Universities Work, or What I wish I’d Known Freshman Year: A Guide to American University Life for the Uninitiated (2010). Probably obvious to college graduates, this brilliant guide explains a lot of basic things about how colleges work and how to use it fully. (Bonus: Loved the reference to my former prof John Barth). “The biggest difference between a university and a high school is that universities are designed to create new knowledge, while high schools are designed to disseminate existing knowledge. That means universities give you far greater autonomy and in turn expect far more from you in terms of intellectual curiosity, personal interest, and maturity.”
    • How to get coaching, mentoring and attention. This is a great thought piece about why professors ignore certain kinds of students and how to focus on doing stuff rather than simply gaining some academic reward.

    Authors and Stuff

    I’ll be adding to this over time.

    Jake’s Books

    Jake published two novels about smart young adults. After starting The Hook, I’ve been reminded of the sharp satirical style of Tom Perotta — whom apparently Jake has written about and even met!

    • The Hook is a nice novel about a young academic. The Hook explores the love life and career of high school English teacher Scott Sole. Told in a series of short chapters which change from character to character — including a girlfriend who was a former student. Scott takes his job very seriously and is passionate about teaching, yet his private life becomes a topic of interest, especially because of his free-spirited ruminations on his blog. Eventually he is vilified after being wrongly accused by a female student. Reminiscent of Tom Perotta’s Election (both in terms of narrative structure and subject matter), this novel is both realistically told and probably an accurate representation of the unrealistic demands made upon teachers. Under this hypercritical (and hypocritical) eye, it’s hard for single adults (and particularly men) to survive. The novel is a scathing indictment of public morality, but also an interesting look at single life from the man’s perspective.
    • Asking Anna is “ comedy, in the tradition of Alain de Botton’s On Love and Nick Hornby’s High Fidelity, about how the baggage you bring on a trip isn’t just the kind packed in a suitcase.