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  • Who will NOT be president in 2021

    Exactly 4 years ago I wrote a tongue-in-cheek article about who would be president in 2017 by figuring out who could not possibly win. (I basically predicted it would be Jeb Bush vs.  Andrew Cuomo).

    I had fun writing this article and I tried to take the exercise seriously even though it was just an exercise. I was also catastrophically wrong.  I couldn’t anticipate that Trump would run for president or even have a shot. He was just too amoral and full of shit — even for Republicans.  At the same time, I immediately ruled out Bernie Sanders as too old and fringe. Since that time, I have seen that Americans are a lot more accepting of older candidates than they used to be, and that the Overton window of  Sanders’ unabashed  progressivism has been effectively shattered.   I also began to look at the race as a kind of perverse reality show where the object is not necessarily to win  but to be the last person standing. I now recognize that coastal liberalism may resonate differently in the heartland.

    For  the 2020 election these will be the important questions: 1)Do we want systemic or incremental change in health care?  2)Which candidate has led an exemplary life? (How important are family values, honesty and being a good role model? Disgust with Trump will cause Americans to focus on this a lot more than usual). 3)Who will restore our standing  in the world? (Trump has been ruining our global  standing;  even Republicans are saying that) and 4) What kind of industrial policy will win support of the business community AND help the underclass to improve their lot?

    Here are some secondary questions:  how willing will the donor class be to donate to this person’s campaign? Donors not only want beneficial policies, they also want steady and reliable administration. But the  2016  election repudiated this idea. Cruz and Bush received lots of donor support, but this didn’t translate to public support. Hilary received lots of donations, but Sanders received more grassroots support and wasn’t that penalized by lacking Clinton’s fundraising apparatus. Perhaps the more critical question is : how easily can the candidate rally supporters? Trump, Obama and Sanders did a great job on this. Hilary Clinton did a rather mediocre job.

    Among the Dems, it seems the choice is mainly between a female Senator and a male who is a business tycoon or former governor.  In the past, we have typically said that governors and business people make better executives, but I don’t know if that applies anymore. Maybe when two candidates go head to head the dynamics will seem different, but my default assumption is that women are the angry class for the election and come out overwhelmingly for the  female candidate.  Females come into this election believing that they were robbed in 2016.

    By 2019 I predict that any enthusiasm for Trump will have disintegrated, and Americans on both sides will be hungering for someone more  dignified and honest. (Mitt Romney — if he were 10 years younger — would have fit the bill perfectly).

    In 2016, I was more interested in figuring out who would win the Republican primary (Hilary Clinton seemed like a shoe in). For 2020, though it’s a wide open race for Democrats; Republicans has a smaller base of potential candidates, and they need to have demonstrated independence and judgment of Trump, but also not to alienate Trump/Breitbart voters too much.

    Republicans

    1. Rick Perry. Perry is adept at understanding the political equation of various situations. He could probably manage to convince voters that he’s independent from Trump and assuage Trump voters that he’s secretly one of them. Terrible policies and ideas, but great fund-raiser, great populist and a good party man. His Oops moment and media personality in Dancing with the Stars can only help him.
    2. Jeff Flake. Definitely the man to watch, especially if/when the American public and Republican voters sour on the Trump brand. He’s actually a conventional politician with many interesting ideas and a capable spokesman for them. Expect him to run against Trump if Trump runs for re-election.
    3. Ted Cruz. It’s still scary to think that Cruz would have been the Republican nominee if Trump hadn’t won. He probably has a more mature understanding of politics now and probably is mending fences with other GOP politicians, but I don’t think this race is Cruz’s turn to run for president.
    4. John Kasich. Because his state is of strategic importance and because Kasich has governing experience and lots of federal experience, he would also be a formidable opponent — especially since he’s claimed to be more anti-Trump as time goes by. He also has worked with Hickenlooper to support a plan to fix Obamacare.  Republicans might look to Kasich as someone who can forge  private health care reform with Dems. But Ohio is a small place, and the US is a gigantic country.
    5. Marco Rubio. See my comments about Ted Cruz above.  Unlike Ted Cruz (who is formidable rhetorically), Rubio seems to be a lightweight politician. In a decade people may perceive him differently, but not now.
    6. Rob Portman has been an incredibly successful politician who has stayed out of the media glare.  On paper, he looks impressive. But it’s hard to imagine Portman emerging if Kasich is a strong contender. Also the impressive things about Portman tend not to win Republican primaries.
    7. Mike Pence.  Under Trump’s best case scenario, Pence will carry on the Trump  legacy. But Pence alienates a lot of people, and he’s incredibly lightweight on substance.
    8. Nikki Haley — Frankly her only qualification is that she is a woman who is a capable politician. Other than that, there is no particular reason for her to run (much less be elected).

    Democrats

    1. Amy Klobuchar. On paper she looks like the Dem candidate most capable of winning in the Midwest. She has a great background in policymaking and is personable and friendly, but not a particularly good speechmaker (Nov 2018 Update. I’ve definitely changed my mind about that last thing). She has more national experience than Kamala Harris, making her the most likely female candidate. The most important thing is that she’s very centrist/bipartisan and understands the legislative process very well.  One notable problem is that Klobuchar does not support single payer. That is a deal breaker for many Democrats.   Politics aside, it would be fun to see a person with that strange a name to become president.
    2. Al Franken. Franken could be persuaded to run for president — especially if Trump runs for re-election, but I get the sense that Franken is not that ambitious — nor does he have a grand vision. UPDATE: I do not think the accusations of sexual harassment will make a difference one way or another.
    3. Julian Castro. He has enormous potential as a politician, but he needs to run for governor — plus he needs to be reasonably confident that he can win his own home state!
    4. Elizabeth Warren. I think she’s a great rallier of the troops, rhetorically very powerful and has a great vision. But she’s divisive and aside from banking and health care, she doesn’t have a lot of foreign policy experience.
    5. Kamala Harris. Sharp lawyer with good political instincts and good rhetoric. She’s new to the national scene, and I don’t see Americans as favoring Harris over Klobuchar (except if you want single payer).
    6. Sherrod Brown. He’s a reliable progressive, but if he did not live in Ohio, I doubt that Americans would rally behind him.
    7. Tom Steyer. He’s definitely running if Trump stays in for 2020. I probably support his climate advocacy, but I don’t want billionaires wanting for president — Dem or Republican.
    8. Deval Patrick. He’s very impressive. African-American, successful Massachusetts governor and businessman. (Even with Bain Capital!) He’s a great speaker, but he’s been involved in a lot of urban issues — which doesn’t really help with winning the heartland.
    9. Mark Cuban. He will jump in the race only if Trump runs for re-election. But I think Steyer is more of a politician/progressive. Cuban is too much of a celebrity, and I think by 2020 Americans will be yearning for non-celebrities.
    10. John Hickenlooper. He and Kasich had talked about a Unity ticket for president in 2020. He’s also very impressive, and he’ll be 68 in 2020. Not particularly progressive, but is ahead of the curve on social issues (like gun control, cannabis, etc). Not a particularly great speech giver.
    11. Michael Bloomberg — Sorry, he’s too old, although in retrospect he should have run in 2016.
    12. Gavin Newsom. handsome and dynamic businessman who is now in the upper echelon of California politics. Cares a lot about gay marriage, homelessness and education. But he’s too young and probably fits the caricature of the out-of-touch California liberal.
    13. Kirsten Gillibrand. Probably the most energetic of female politicians, and a good communicator besides (though lacking the gravitas of a Warren/Clinton or even Kamala Harris).  I think she benefits from Hilary-sympathy; I just wonder how well she plays with Middle America.
    14. Andrew Cuomo.  I thought he was a strong candidate for 2016, but he didn’t run and doesn’t seem especially popular in NY. Being associated with NY is not going to help in 2020.
    15. Cory Booker. Good affable politician and he pops up all the time on talk shows and news shows. He serves on the Foreign Relations committee, so he stays well-informed about global issues. I don’t see anything special about him , but he is a skillful media personality — that can only help him.
    16. Jay Inslee. (added July 2018).  Inslee is a successful Washington governor, ex-congressman and former HHS staffer under Clinton. He also has the best climate change credentials of the bunch — plus he has experience as a governor — something rare among Democrats. In late 60s, old but not too old. He’s a very polished individual, and if Tom Steyer and Bill Gates were to throw money at him, he would be unstoppable.

    Single Payer: As of today, Harris, Warren, Brown, Franken, Booker , Gillibrand support single payer. I assume that Gavin Newsom and Steyer also support it. Hickenlooper supports a bipartisan improvement on Obamacare with Kasich. Klobuchar does not support single payer, but might support it later.

    TO SUMMARIZE:

    REPUBLICANS. If we assume that Trump does not run for re-election, that leaves us with three Republican candidates: Rick Perry, Jeff Flake and John Kasich.  Flake has the best vision of the three, is most likely to appeal to undecideds and quickly established his independence from Trump. Then again, ever since Goldwater’s stinging defeat, Republicans have generally not chosen an intellectual/policymaker type (with Jack Kemp being the notable exception). Assuming that Trump is not in prison, Rick Perry has the ability to straddle the MAGA types and mainstream conservatives, plus it’s his turn.  Kasich is probably smarter and better at economics and industrial policy, but he  never really had national prominence. He also has endorsed the bipartisan Obamacare fix plan with Hickenlooper while maintaining his conservative credentials.  But Perry has more ability to rally the troops. My prediction: John Kasich.  

    Among Democrats, I really don’t know. They have a lot of media savvy politicians (Cory Booker, Deval Patrick, Kristen Gillibrand) and two impressive governors (Patrick, Cuomo, Hickenlooper), several impressive women (Gillibrand, Harris, Klobuchar, Warren) and several midwest politicians (Klobuchar, Hickenlooper). Among these, I think Patrick, Gillibrand and Klobuchar stand out.

    Out of all the politicians,  the only ones who are climate hawks are Tom Steyer, Cuomo, Gillibrand.

    For health care, Klobuchar and Hickenlooper do NOT support single payer. That is not in the Democratic mainstream right now. At the same time in 2016 Colorado voted against single payer; it’s hard to predict how angry people will be in 2019 and 2020 about health care.

    2020 will be the year of the female Democratic candidate. Which women can win a 2020 election? Also: which women can push most successfully for single payer? Gillibrand is very partisan and a good speechmaker and has access to a lot of campaign donations. Harris and Gillibrand strongly support single payer.  Klobuchar is more middle-of-the-road and bipartisan, less of a firebrand.

    The question becomes: which Democrat is capable of  bringing us to a viable health care  solution? Really, the only people who could do this are the ones who are NOT endorsing Single Payer.  Maybe Bernard Sanders could do this. Maybe Hickenlooper  or Deval Patrick could. By 2019, the country could be in a completely different mood, paving the wave for  a hyperpartisan candidate like Gillibrand or Harris.

    For the Democratic candidate, I predict Amy Klobuchar . (If  the health care system implodes by 2019 and the race becomes very hot, maybe Gillibrand will seem more appealing). I don’t like Klobuchar’s  incremental approach to health care, but she knows the heartland, sees things from the point of view of small businesses,  and she has deep relationships with other lawmakers. She is not a lightning rod to controversy. She is open to compromise.

    In 2nd place, I’m predicting Deval Patrick.  Progressive politician and great speaker with business experience. He’s done a lot of work with cities. I’m less confident about his ability to reach the heartland.

    Jan 8 Update:  Since writing this, the sexual harassment bugaboo, a lot of things have happened. Franken is out, Gillebrand has gotten ahead of the curve on this, and Oprah gave a rousing speech at the Golden Globes. I don’t think Oprah will run in 2020 unless Trump stays in (and even at that, it’s a slim possibility). Mark Zuckerberg is being talked about, as is Nikki Haley. But Zuckerberg probably would have more financial entanglements than Trump ever would, and probably already enjoys his political influence now, and Haley is glued to the mouth to Trump. I stick with my prediction that 2020 will put a woman into the White House, and that it will be a Senator to do it.

    March 7 Update.  I actually am amazed that everyone is assuming that Trump would run for re-election. Frankly, that would be outstanding news for Dems, but I still think it doubtful.  I think the Medicare Extra for All is capable of ensnaring fence sitters like Klobuchar.

    August 5 2018 Update.  I listened to some keynote speeches at NetRoots Nation by Warren, Inslee, Booker, Harris and Julian Castro.  Warren’s speech was remarkable, moving and impassioned, precise and value-based. Jay Inslee didn’t give a speech, but he did a long panel;  he’s experienced and friendly and politically savvy; he definitely knows the levers of power.  He reminds me a lot of Bill Clinton (minus the pecadillos), plus he is a dedicated climate change warrior.  Harris’s speech was conversational, informal, empathetic  and yet very sharp. She knew how to make her points well. (Yet she was focused on a small number of issues, rather than on larger issues from Warren’s). Booker sounded like a humble  preacher willing to listen to everybody  and describe life lessons and — very appealing. The issue of the day for all 3 speeches was tax breaks for low-income renters (horray!) None of them really paid attention to Trump (Warren made a few  oblique references), but the main message seemed to be  returning to the party’s roots (and the implicit admission that Clinton’s campaign didn’t do that enough). Maybe support for Medicare for All was implied — so the candidates didn’t need to mention the issue, but I was struck by  its absence in all 3 speeches. Based on these speeches, I would say that Warren is head and shoulders above the rest in clarity of vision and passion.  She does not sound professional or condescending at all — she even can play up her midWestern roots. She is  definitely the best one to make the case against Trump.  Over time, I have grown to respect Klobuchar’s fair-mindededness and respectful tone; when you hear her talk about  election security  and immigration, she comes off as very bipartisan and no-nonsense.  In contrast, Warren (and Inslee and Gillibrand) sound very partisan.

    Inslee is very aware of climate change issues and technology issues; his state did a net neutrality law and he tried unsuccessfully to pass a carbon tax.  He understands climate change politics very well.

    On the Republican side, one has to add Paul Ryan to the list, if only because he is highly skilled, experienced and a good speechmaker. Leaving office now allows him to distance himself from the Trump trainwreck while establishing a record of being a reliable conservative. It’s unclear whether he even wants to run in 2020 (although 2024 or 2028 sounds more tempting). I honestly don’t think Ryan wants to clean up after Trump’s messes.

    The issues again boil down to whether Trump will run for re-election. My bet is still no (especially after the midterms, and when the Muller report starts to trickle into the public consciousness). One of the problems is that very few Republicans have distanced themselves from Trump (except Romney and all the people who ran against him in 2016), so Trump’s exit from national politics will leave a large vacuum on the conservative side.

    The other issue — and I can’t believe I’m saying this — is that if the US enters another war, that could redound to Trump’s benefit in the short term — long enough to rally support for reelection. If such a foreign policy crisis of a non-economic nature arose, Klobuchar  and maybe a manly man like Cory Booker or Adam Schiff might become more attractive as candidates.

    September 29 2018 Update. Steve Bannon predicts that lawyer Michael Avenatti will run for president in 2020 and will be a formidable candidate. What an idiot! (Bannon seems to overvalue belligerence as a political quality). Beto O’Rourke is a name tossed about as a candidate. Not a chance! He’s correct on issues and very telegenic, but he’s a relative lightweight.  Bloomberg hinted on Fahreed Zakaria’s GPS that he’s considering a run, but ultimately I think his age works against him.

    It’s debatable  whether experience in the Senate transfers to running for president, but it’s  interesting that the 5 of the leading contenders are currently in the US Senate. From where things stand now,  the midterms will be a Democratic blowout, and the Trump scandals have not really popped, so I guess we can assume that Trump will stay in the race — changing the dynamics somewhat.

    From a Wash Post article about Klobuchar:

    The scene at the hearing — in which Kavanaugh was defending himself against allegations of sexual assault — has at once thrust Klobuchar into the national spotlight and reinforced what could be her central shortcoming as a 2020 contender for the presidency. In a party that by most accounts is searching for liberals and powerful personalities to counteract President Trump, Klobuchar has crafted a brand almost diametrically opposed to that. In many ways, Klobuchar’s running and winning in 2020 would defy conventional wisdom, just as Trump did in 2016.

    Yet more and more, she is finding herself earning strong reviews from partisan crowds, often on the strength of understated moments such as Thursday’s and the idea that she is essentially the complete antithesis of Trump. Where he’s brash, extreme and exuding machismo, she’s subtle, bookish, bipartisan and a woman in a party that is increasingly nominating female candidates.

    (The article goes on to say that what works as a Minnesota senator doesn’t work when you run for president, but that is condescending. My main complaint is about her lukewarm position on Medicare for All puts her out of sync with progressive politics.

    November 12 2018 Update.  Somebody on Predictit mentioned an Amy/Beto pairing for the 2020 race. Who can know at this stage, but the likability quotient of both people is staggering.. (It’s still an open question whether having Beto on the ticket would win Texas, but it could possibly make the difference in Florida). Since getting on board the Klobuchar train, I’ve been watching media appearances. Almost all are authentic and delightful and hilarious (see this and this). Will Bunch wrote a column making the case for Klobuchar and unearthed a beautiful tribute she made on the Senate floor to the musician Prince after he died.

    November 16 2018 Update. It’s interesting that so many liberal columnists are pointing to Kamala Harris as a frontrunner. Of course, now it’s just a guessing game, but I just don’t see it. I don’t see any vision thing from her yet and no broad command of issues.  Every candidate has strengths and deficiencies (or less strong qualities). For example, I think Warren would be an outstanding candidate even though she is viewed as divisive (unjustly, in my opinion, but there it is). Klobuchar is extremely likable and wonky, but maybe too nice? Harris is smart and tough, but not much depth? Gillebrand is smart and tough and argumentative, but maybe too New Yorky?  These are all first impressions. Political campaigns are good at establishing to the public that  no politician can be  perfect and each has comparative  shortcomings. That partly explains the cognitive dissonance of Trump supporters. They  see his flaws, but have decided that  Trump is so unique and colorful that they can live with his coarseness. Do supporters ever fall out of love with presidential candidates they have voted for? Rarely. Surely, some fell out of love with Clinton after the scandal, but that was after they reelected him. IBID for Nixon.  Even people with high negatives (like George W. Bush and Reagan) seemed to get reelected easily.  Final Note: I really hope that America Ferrara eventually transitions from acting to politics. Ferrara for President in 2036?

    December 7 2018 Update. If you look at the  schedule of Dem primaries , you see that  New York is on Day 2 of the primary (1 day after Iowa) and Alabama/Massachusetts/California/North Carolina are on SuperTuesday (March 3). That means that New York is going to be a major player (and New York is an expensive media market). The early importance of traditionally liberal states means more emphasis on fundraising and coastal politics. Policy-wise, I think this is going to push climate change to the front of the agenda, and while health care is always important, it is somewhat less important in the big liberal states. It seems somewhat strange that some of the contentious states (Florida, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin) are later, so maybe Klobuchar’s Middle America liberalism will be somewhat disadvantaged. 

    June 10 2019 Update.  What a fun and interesting list of candidates. At the moment Biden’s stay-above-the-fray strategy is working. Sanders and Warren are both in the same lane politically (but Warren is winning). Beto still stays in the limelight (and keeps getting invited onto talk shows) despite his inexperience. Egad, it’s such a beauty contest. I remain shocked that Inslee has not gotten a lot of traction even though climate change has suddenly become a front burner issue. As capable as Buttigieg is, it’s not his turn though he makes the race a lot more interesting and injects a bit of religious sensibility. As women start to drop out (I’m looking at you, Williamson, Gabbard and Gillibrand), support for the other female candidates will solidify. Both Klobuchar and Harris will gain when the Biden bubble finally deflates and women start to make up their mind. Punditry so far has downplayed  the importance of gender in this primary. It has also ignored candidates with DEPTH; by that, I mean, having a motive more than professional vanity, not focusing too much on a single issue and capable of appealing to the nation rather than one region of the nation. Among those having this depth are Sanders, Warren, Klobuchar, Inslee and possibly Biden and Harris (though Klobuchar and Inslee are currently regional — especially Inslee).  Another factor is  that early voting on Super Tuesday will overlap considerably with primaries in  early states. That will help candidates from larger states like CA and TX.  A cursory look at candidate websites shows that the best websites (so far) are 1) Bernie Sanders, 2)Joe Biden, 3)Kamala Harris, 4)Amy Klobuchar. Special mention goes to Jay Inslee whose website contains 5 separate climate change proposals. Impressive.  

    August 9, 2019 Update. Boy this primary has been exciting, and it’s only started!

    First, it’s interesting how Trump’s actions has been shaping the primary. It has made immigration a central issue — and increased the focus on temperament.

    Second, I am shocked and disappointed to see that many seasoned candidates have barely made the third tier. Klobuchar, Inslee, Castro all have made their marks, but seem unlikely to make any significant headway in the race. That’s a shame because Inslee has an incredible record, and so does Klobuchar. Also, every time Klobuchar speaks publicly on foreign policy, I think, this woman is incredible! I wish we had different candidates in the first and second tier, but here we are.

    Third, it’s interesting how qualifying for debates has shaped the early campaign. These events are exercises in pugilism; it’s probably interesting as much as it reveals which policies and talking points are being relied upon most.

    Fourth, I look at polls and see indications that Trump still has a shot (is the electorate smoking crack or what?). Also, I see a roar against the big liberals. (Do they realize that 20% of Texans don’t have health insurance?) This status quo bias on health care seems destined to let that continue for quite a while. Thankfully, there seems to be acknowledgment that action on climate change needs to be accelerated.

    Fifth, as a result of Steyer’s late entrance to the race, I am seeing FB ads EVERY time I open FB — Steyer is spending a lot of money to attract small donors. He is an extremely impressive candidate — smart, articulate, informed — and runs an effective lobbying group, but I’m afraid USA doesn’t really need another smart billionaire (not him, not Bloomberg, etc) to run the country. The billionaire-as-savior was interesting as an idea when Perot emerged, but maybe the problem today is that certain privileged people have gigantic megaphones in our society.

    Fifth, I am watching Texas polls closely for hints that it might be in play. I guess Chuck Kuffner and Nate Silver have better insight than I do. But a recent Emerson poll shows both Biden and Sanders beating Trump in a head to head poll of Texas registered voters, (and a total of 6 Dem candidates at the margin of error). It’s quite possible that Beto or Castro might fill a VP slot to increase that probability.

    I’m beginning to see obvious picks for a Dem cabinet: Inslee for EPA, Harris for DOJ, Gabbard for VA, O’Rourke/Castro for INS. I think Klobuchar would also be great for Dept of State or DOJ. Bullock for Interior, Ryan for Labor, and certainly places can be found for Booker, Buttigieg, etc.

    December 10, 2019 Update. In Houston all I see on TV are ads for woman’s cologne and Michael Bloomberg. I think his strategy is capture Texas, New York, California and Florida, with Texas being an important part. At the last part of November, I felt 100% sure that Nikki Haley and John Kasich would enter the primary — in anticipation of the impeachment tarnishing the GOP brand. Significantly this did not happen.

  • Robert’s Ultimate Guide to all 24 hours of Pharrell Williams’ Happy Video

    About this Video || 12:00 AM – 3:59 AM || 4:00AM – 7:59AM || 8:00AM – 11:59AM || 12:00 PM – 3:59 PM || 4:00PM – 7:59PM || 8:00PM – 11:59 PM || List of Names & References

    Click any of the above links to browse through the dancers for various hours of 24 hours of Happy. I started this webpage in 2014, but stopped in 2017 in the face of life events and technical issues preventing me from doing so. July 16 2023 I figured out a solution to the technical issues. Instead of putting everything on a single page, I subdivided the 24 hours into 6 blocs of 4 hours each. That still leaves the hardest part — making screenshots that aren’t terrible — but I think I can populate the rest of the 4 minute blocks relatively quickly. This blog post has been shortened considerably and contains three things: 1)a long description about the music video project, 2)a long list of names of people involved in the project and 3)blog comments which have been very helpful. Also, thanks to Rob O.’s information about street addresses for the Happy project, I hope to trace the map of all 24 hours! ]

    Here’s a running list of the Happy Dancers in the Pharrell Williams official 24 Hours of Happy video. At the very bottom of this web page is a list of everybody’s names, and I’m beginning to cross-index their dance times.  I’m not going to try to rate these dance vids too harshly; the main purpose of this page is just to list the dances and identify the people. Asking people to do impromptu dances on a city street is hard enough. So everybody receives 1 star unless there’s something highly unusual about it (with 3 stars being the best).

    The Fastcocreate article about the filming said that filming took 11 days and 2 separate days for Pharrell’s stuff.

    Those chosen by audition had the advantage of getting the song in advance, allowing them to rehearse their moves. But on the day itself, everyone got just one take, including Pharrell. “That’s what accounts for the charm,” says Valdes. “Everyone knew they had one shot–this was their moment to go all out, and we love that.” “The video’s imperfections, the funny bloopers and mess-ups, are what give it character,” says Pharell, whose own performances alternated between what he calls “semi-choreographed” (see the bowling alley at 11:00 p.m.) and improvisation. “I’m not interested in perfection. It’s boring. Some of my favorite moments are accidental. There’s one where I’m underground. I was turning a corner just as a train was coming in our direction, and it stopped right on cue! It was weird. The universe gave us great moments that day.”  … WAFLA chose to shoot in Los Angeles, … starting at sunrise in Downtown L.A., moving to LAX, Silver Lake, Echo Park and Hollywood, among other places, ultimately circling back to Downtown.

    Says a crew member:

    I was lucky enough to be a part of this as the location manager. It was a rough one. Not sure how Jon (Beattie)  did it. We did 12-15 hour days. There was a crew of 15-20 people with us at all times. Sometimes when we where shooting, we would have to make a u-turn to head back the other way. So all of a sudden, this mob of people would have to stand behind the camera, and do a 180 in sync. It was madness. There would also be times when we had to make a quick decision on which way to go. We would scout ahead and find out that the street was blocked, so at the last second, we changed the route. We also had fun with the talent. We would find someone walking down the street, and invite them to be a part of the video. It turned out amazing.

    Says another:

    The biggest obstacle was the fact that we were walking backwards through non-locked off streets and side walks. I ran into many a telephone pole and street sign, and on several occasions had to crawl under John to stay out of the picture. It was a lot of fun to work on, and I think the 4 minute edited version looks great.

    Background about the Video: 2 Minute Behind-the-Scenes Video and interview with the directors, Fastcocreate profile of the production process, A video production blog describes the lens, filming process, etc. I just learned that the steadicam guy who shot most of the vids was Jon Beattie.

    Other articles with lots of photos and snarkiness:  We Watched Pharrell Williams 24 Hours Happy Video so you didn’t have to , Pitchfork’s 5 Best Things about the Happy Video, Christopher Grant Harris expanded account of dancers (with generous screenshots); Wikipedia page for the Pharrell Williams Happy song (it doesn’t yet have a separate page).

    My favorites so far are:  Happy Hair! 3:32AM,  Bollywood-style dancer Monica Moskatow  7:56AM, Elegant Blonde Girl in Street 9:56 AM (just magical!),  Jiggly guy with a fan 11:28AM,  Preteen Acrobatic Girl 12:28 PM, Asian Gene Kelley 1:28 PM,  2 Asian guys in tuxes in front of a Star Bucks 2:20pm,  Girl in Polka Dotted Dress 7:16PM (unbelievably good!) Man on Stilts at 7:36 PM,  Amazing & Speedy Guy at 10:44 PM (Amazing Choreography!), 2 Cute & Entertaining Girls at the Bowling Alley 11:08PM,  Hula Hoop Girl 11:40 PM  (but seriously I’m only getting started)

    How to Help:  If you know the name of any of the dancers, mention it in the comment section. (If you were one of the dancers who participated, drop me a line — I’d love to do a brief interview!). I’d also like to identify the buildings and neighborhoods if you know it. (I will probably look through Youtube comments for help, but give me time!) .  April 2 Update: I’m currently gathering information about places where everything was shot. I hope to have a nice map showing landmarks and dance paths fairly soon.  Stay tuned. I definitely appreciate everybody who identifies the dancer’s name. By the way, I’m behind on doing my screenshots and commentary, but the index of all the actors (at bottom) is updated every day.

    Tangential Aside #1: You may already have heard about the fatal car accident of Courtney Ann Sanford, caused by the Facebook update she posted while driving, “The Happy Song makes me fell so happy.”  What a tragedy! I do not condone texting while driving (and certainly don’t believe the song deserves any blame here), but this page needs to acknowledge that a song about being happy is just a song — ephemeral, distracting and even a bit escapist. All humans need a little bit of happy  in their lives, but we also need to recognize that happiness — like life itself — is a fragile commodity. Ultimately this dance video (and this page) is precisely a celebration of this ephemerality — while we still have time. Tangential Aside #2: You knew it was going to happen: some repressive regime was going to ban the song “Happy” or arrest the people who made the dance clip.  Seems like Iran couldn’t resist the opportunity to steal the thunder.  (Read more) This seems to come straight out of a Kundera novel.

    Dance Credits

    film-crew
    film-crew2

    List of  24 Hours of Happy Dancers

    (Taken from the Credits;  when I get time, I’ll try to add times to each dancer’s name)

    Special Guests

    • Buddy
    • Steve Carell 5:08 pm
    • Miranda Cosgrove 5:40 pm
    • Tyler, The Creator 6:16pm
    • Cyrcle
    • Gavin DeGraw
    • Urijah Faber & Michaella Tastad 8:36am
    • Luisa Fernanda Espinosa
    • Francesco
      • Jamie Foxx 5:28 pm
    • Ryan Heffington
    • Whit Hertford 1:04am
    • Magic Johnson 5:36am
    • JoJo 6:16pm
    • Jimmy Kimmel 11:48am
    • Leah LaBelle 12:00 PM
    • Alonso Mateo
    • Sérgio Mendes 10:32 am
    • Ana Ortiz 5:32pm
    • Kelly Osbourne 1:28am
    • Issa Rae
    • Fatima Robinson
    • Golden Sisters 11:36am
    • Bevy Smith
    • Earl Sweatshirt
    • Rob Zabrecky 10:12am
    • Odd Future 1:48 pm

    Dancers

    • Anna Abovyan
    • Kim Adams
    • Zaire Adams
    • Gianna Adams
    • Lisa Alcindor
    • Logan Alexander
    • Ben Allen
    • Lynette Almeron
    • Katrina Amato
    • Armond Anderson-Bell
    • Mecca Vazie Andrews
    • Rachel Angelini
    • Michael Angeloe
    • Kenny Apel
    • Judy Aquino
    • Freddie Araujo
    • CJ Archuceta
    • Ohmar De Arida
    • Leonard Baker
    • Belinda Bales
    • Natasha Zohra Banon
    • (uncredited?: Nathan J.  Barnatt? 11:16AM  His other dance videos are here and here )
    • Mary Bartnicki
    • Lauren Barzman
    • Megan Batoon 6:44pm
    • Dina Bedenko
    • Michael Beinuthy
    • Francis Raziel R. Belandres
    • Brianna Benford
    • Jude Berberian
    • Richard Berdecia
    • Lauren Bernard
    • Dave Birr
    • Nora Boghassian
    • Itsoso Bolivar
    • Amber Boone
    • Dena Bordelon
    • Brandee
    • Ray Brickerson 7:16am
    • Myesha Brown
    • Paula Bryisk
    • Al Burke
    • Delaney Burke
    • Alexander Burke
    • Kathryn Burns
    • Erin Burts
    • Bei Caldice
    • Kelly Campbell
    • Lucian Carter
    • Bryan Carter
    • Jacquan Carter
    • Shaquille Carter
    • Melissa Castillo
    • Erica Castillo
    • Ingel Catindrg
    • Josephine Cavalluzzi
    • Danielle Chambers
    • Seaonna Chanadet
    • Remey Chanadet
    • Cravon Charles
    • Joshua Christophe
    • Michael Churien
    • Germana Cifani
    • Tifani Ciotti
    • Stefani Ciotti
    • Joelle Claret
    • George Clarke
    • Alfonso “Enzo” Colichon
    • Brian Corona
    • Nicole Crepeau
    • Iman Crosson (aka Alphacat) 12:40pm
    • Omar Crossor
    • Joshua Curtis
    • Teresa Dablquest
    • Steven Dady
    • Brittany Daniel
    • Samuel David
    • Kelly W. Davis
    • Madison S. Deaver
    • Jean Delkhaste
    • Eric DeLoretta
    • Lauren deMauregne
    • Jessica DeShaw 3:08 PM
    • Rae Lynn Devine
    • Jennifer Deyaing
    • Jonathan Diaz
    • Gabe de Dios
    • Gina Dobson
    • Desarae A. Dotson
    • Bill Douglas
    • Abraham A. Duella
    • Emmet Duffy
    • Cindy DuLong
    • Jake DuPree
    • Joseph A. Bunaham Durant
    • Joe Van Dyke
    • Beach Eastwood
    • Lisa Eaton
    • Kota Eberhardt
    • Layne Eiler
    • Raymond Ejiofor
    • Frederick Emmerson
    • Brittany Falk
    • Chris Farah
    • Alyin Fernandez
    • Zamara Fernandez
    • Julia Fife
    • Heather Flores
    • Tibor Fober
    • David Charles Franklin
    • Sydney Freggiaro
    • Mariella Freyre
    • Jared Frieder
    • Galit Friedlander
    • Kathy Frye
    • Makayla Brooke Galindo
    • Callista Gallerani
    • Kimmy Gatenoor
    • Victoria Geil
    • Dianne Geivett
    • Arne Gelten
    • Karen Gevorkian
    • Brian Gibbs
    • Malik Gillins
    • Ronald L. Glass
    • Christopher Troy Gonzalez
    • Jamie González
    • Adisa Gooding-Henry
    • Alana Gospodnetich
    • Jasper Gough
    • Avery Gough
    • David Graf
    • Isaac Gray
    • Isaiah Gray
    • Alyssa Gray
    • Joy D. Green
    • Rodnesha Green
    • Andrew Grosso
    • Sarah Gul-Mohamed
    • Moniqu Guzman
    • Luke Haeger
    • Erik Hall
    • Tamara Ham
    • Erina Hamada
    • Juliet Hantig
    • Matt Harfield
    • Kelvin Harris, Jr.
    • Ryna Harrison
    • Aye Hasegawa
    • David Hawkins
    • Ivy Heeny
    • Josh Heller
    • Naomi Henderson
    • Nic Hernandez
    • Eduardo Hernandez
    • Bonnie Hernandez
    • Amy Hessler 6:12 AM
    • Aaron Hicks
    • John Hicti
    • Natsuko “Coco” Higashikawa
    • Marlee Hightower 6:48am
    • Marlon Hightower 6:48am
    • Olana Himmel
    • Amalia Holl
    • Anne-Marie “Diamondback Annie” Holman
    • Alyssa Hovey
    • Isaiah Howard
    • Corlina Hoyes
    • Steve Huang
    • Christy Huertas
    • Giulia Isacchini
    • Shawntae Jackson
    • Tami Dewell James
    • Ellie Jameson
    • Michelle Janine
    • Daniel Jaquez
    • Morgan Jenkins 11:44 PM.
    • Saudia Jenkins
    • Sarah Jenks
    • Trent Jeray 3:52 PM
    • Diamond Johnson
    • Jackie Johnson
    • Brittany Johnson
    • Dorothy Jean Joly
    • Grace L. Jones
    • Mao Kawakami
    • Sammy Kaye
    • Briana Kennedy
    • Jeremy Kesner
    • Torey Ketcham
    • Ara Keuroghun
    • Beckie Kiefer
    • Callie Kiefer
    • Ellen Kim 2:04 AM?
    • Essence King
    • Princess King
    • Jason Richard Kirby
    • NayNay Kirby
    • Kasi Kirkpatrick
    • Daniel Kwan 1:32am (more)
    • Bailey LaFlam
    • Quinn Lake
    • Scott Laurie
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    • Julia-Thao V Lê
    • Georgina Leahy
    • David Leavitt
    • Harlem Lee
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    • Francesca Leigh
    • Alexandra Lemelle
    • Will Leon
    • Cynthia Lester (IMDB) 4:48am
    • Siláwn Lewis
    • Tanita Ligons
    • David “Dash Riprock” Lipkin
    • Dava Liu
    • Everth López
    • Mandi Lowery 2:24 AM
    • Aerick Luckie
    • Anthony Andre Mack
    • Naiqui MaCobroad
    • Bill Manaqun
    • Alfredo Mancuso
    • Kathleen Mangan
    • Artur Manvelyan
    • Cerise Marchon
    • Teri Marlowe 4:36pm
    • Jamel Marshall
    • Isabel Martin-Horwth
    • Jose Martinez
    • Eddie Martinez
    • Jore Mana Amsel Martinez
    • Nikki Marvin
    • Tony Maseno
    • Hillary Matthews
    • Sean McBride
    • Ashleigh McGordan
    • Brian McGowan
    • Katherin McGowan
    • Jos McKain  (misspelled in credits as “Jes McKain”)
    • Erinilda Medeiros
    • Sergio Mendes 10:32 AM
    • Alberto David Mercado
    • Darwyn Metzger
    • Mikayla & Callie
    • Dustin Miller
    • Kevin Mimms
    • Albert Minero, Jr.
    • Ariana Moini
    • KC MoMillan
    • Nylah Mondesir
    • Chloe Mondesir
    • David Moore
    • Edgar Morgan
    • Tommy Morrison
    • Monica Moskatow 7:56AM (her youtube channel and her Happy Dance Audition!)
    •  
    • Omar Mosley
    • Aliyah Moulden
    • Terence Mufaland
    • Mike Munich
    • Jenny Muscatelli
    • Cameron Navam
    • Justin Nesbitt
    • Kevin Nguyen
    • Joseph Niemeier
    • Tyrell Noel
    • Warren Nomi
    • Deanna O’Bryan
    • Natalya Oliver 1:36PM
    • Jouré Omar
    • Annabell Osorio
    • Jon Overgaauw
    • Roxanne “Roxy Rene” Pacheco
    • Mitch Pearlstein
    • Marlon Pelayo
    • Rhoda Pell at 9:04AM.
    • Brianna Perez
    • Tuyla Peters
    • Trina Peterson
    • Trina Nicole Peterson
    • Timothy J. Petracca
    • Breanna Phillips
    • Avelavunee Phillips
    • Brian”BJ” Pierce, Jr.
    • Fatima Poenyoub
    • Frankie Ponce
    • Tara-Jean Popouich
    • George Powell
    • Ashton Powers
    • Ondreu Psenicka
    • Allison Quiller
    • Jon Raagas
    • Mattias Ramos at 5:56 AM Original audition video is here.
    • Charlie Ramos
    • Samuel Ramzy
    • Beau Ray
    • Rebecca Ray
    • Gavin Logan Raygoza
    • Jonathan Redavid 2:20pm
    • Vicki Reed
    • Amber Reed
    • Lupida Resh
    • Heather Reyes
    • Victor Reyes
    • Alfredo Reyna
    • Holly Richards
    • Hannah Richte
    • Veondra Roxxanne Riley
    • Luisa Rivera, Jr.
    • Billy D. Robertson
    • Estella Robinson
    • Jack Robinson
    • Alfonso Rodriguez
    • Nick Rodriques
    • Meredith Rogers
    • Sapna Rohra 9:16 PM
    • James Ross
    • Dylan Russcet
    • Faisal Salah
    • Azzle Salais
    • Olivia G. Salerno
    • Anastasia Salinger
    • Sasha Salinger
    • Elin Sandegard
    • J. Eric Sandoval
    • Anthony Sands
    • Reynaldo C. Santiago, Jr.
    • Sami Martin Sarmientov
    • Daniel Scheinert 1:32am ,(more)
    • Page Schorer
    • Page R. Sdn
    • Mahesh Seneviratue
    • Chaldea Sevilla 6:32 pm
    • Kristen Shapero
    • Loretta Shenosky 9:16AM.
    • Kiara Sieen
    • Melanie Siegel
    • Simmie “Boobly” Sims
    • Felicia Skrzypek
    • Jarrett Sleeper
    • Aaron Smith
    • Sterling Smith
    • Lauren Smith
    • Gwendolin Smith
    • Harpal Sodhi
    • Hannah Sotelo
    • Samie Soulogheh
    • Hope Spear
    • Anaya Sperlin
    • Neal Spinler
    • Carole Stanford
    • Melissa Staroszik
    • Ross Steeves
    • Athena Sterig
    • Alejandra Suayde
    • Yannnus Sufandi
    • Art Sughyan
    • Genevieve Svehiak
    • Theodore Szeto
    • Joanna Szeto
    • Etsgenet Tadesse
    • Arlene Tai, 4:20 PM
    • Ada Tai, 4:20 PM
    • Tsuyoshi Takayama
    • Mikaela Tallut
    • Louisa Tampi
    • Justine Tauriainen
    • Shaka Terry
    • Hondo Tey
    • Cleveland Third
    • Dayzjah Thomas
    • Whitmer Thomas
    • Jason Sensation Thomas
    • Ella Thomas
    • Nyah Monet Thompson
    • Cynthia Marie Thompson
    • Kumei Tneorio
    • Arleen Torgersen
    • David Torres
    • Gustavo Torres
    • Shenika Travis
    • Angela Trimbur (aka the “Dance Like Nobody’s Watching Girl”)  12: 24 AM
    • Marilou Troadec
    • Derrick T. Tuggle  12:20AM 
    • Alceem Turner
    • Nadia Vazquez
    • Tyler Vazquez
    • Clayton Velasquez
    • Liane Vitzk
    • Tonya Vivian
    • Minn Vo 2:20pm
    • Kara J. Wade
    • Bo Walker
    • Zoe Savannah Walker
    • John Ward
    • Jasmiru Shira Ware
    • Daisy Washington
    • Charity Watts
    • Ricky Webb
    • Brooke-Monaé Westbrook
    • Michelle Westbrook
    • Shawna Whitlock
    • Dallas Wiley
    • Deferra Williams
    • Ashley Williams
    • Xuly Williams
    • Josh Williams
    • Nicholas Williams
    • Rosalind Williams
    • Deshawnte “Smoothgalaxy” Williams
    • Phoebe Wilson
    • Michael Wilson
    • David Wincheu
    • Jenna Winn
    • Connie Wong
    • Alex Wong
    • John Wusab
    • Drew Wyman
    • Malcolm Xavier
    • Francesco Yates
    • Maritza Lerman Yoes
    • Gina Young
    • Katherina Zabe
    • Katrin Zales
    • Adisa Ziric
    • Isabella Zubor
    • Jill Zwarensteyn
  • A Slight Detour about Annoyingly Soapy Hair

    I often wonder if anything I say or think or write is original. Sometimes I will think of an allegedly great idea, but before I get too excited, I google a few keywords nervously — to see who beat me to it.  Google is  the ultimate humbler of humanity.

    Today, though, I think I will blog about a subject, and I sincerely believe I am the first to do. (Feel free to prove me wrong!)   And yet what I am about to write about is so familiar and prosaic to each of us that no one would bother to.

    This morning I was taking a quick shower — and not thinking about chocolate —  and when I stepped onto the bathroom floor, I dried myself thoroughly  and began to assemble the necessary tools for shaving. But I happened to brush my hand against my head — only for a millisecond, mind you — but long enough to surmise  that I hadn’t completely  rinsed the  shampoo suds from my hair. I immediately felt  the gooey mess and heard the wrinkly sound of lather. Yes, it was true, my hair was only half-rinsed; so now I would need to return to the shower to finish the job.

    It was only somewhat annoying, a slight detour in my day. It meant that drying myself would no longer be as satisfying as the first time, and the cool sensation of leaving a shower refreshed would be tempered by the paranoia that maybe my head of hair is not completely rinsed. (It has happened a few times; I return to the shower a second time and think that I rinsed everything out, and then to my horror discover that I had omitted one of the sides from this second cautionary rinse).

    As I started to shave, I began calculating. I probably commit this kind of washing miscalculation once every 10 or 15 days (that’s 25 times a year!) I would say I have a good 70 years of 1750 washing miscalculations for my lifetime (assuming 1 shower a day).  Out of the 7.1 billion people on this earth, let’s guess conservatively that they commit this same washing miscalculation 20 times a year. Let me see: that equals:

    140 billion times in a year that people are stepping out of the shower without realizing that they have forgotten to rinse their hair.

    That’s a really big number.  Think about it: despite the fact that everyone is doing it, there doesn’t appear to be any web pages by or about people who have made this mistake. Don’t believe me? Try here or here. (Actually here or here does produce something relevant though not particularly meaningful or lasting). The event is so mundane that it has never occurred to anyone to write a separate article about this phenomenon.

    One way to look at the thing is to say that this experience is something so vague that a search engine couldn’t possibly help you to find people’s descriptions of it. A friend and I were remarking at how useful search engines are for looking up and verifying facts. Sure. But that doesn’t imply that Google is actually useful. It’s like the paradox of not being able to verify the spelling of a word because you need to spell it correctly to look it up. Many of life’s questions are so  vague and imprecise that search algorithms are practically useless. Even our proper names are no longer unique enough  to find what we need. I’m sure AI and natural language processing will improve, but so will the amount of  random garbage on the Internet, and so will the challenge of sifting through things. Many are so alarmed by the NSA and the Echelon System that it might not occur to ask whether the NSA is actually equipped to sort through all the noise.

    Decline of the Search Paradigm

    In 2009 I attended  an education panel hosted by 4 undergraduates  attending elite institutions.  It was ironic, because the audience was packed with probably about 100 teachers or geeks. Most of the audience members  felt that we had a good grasp of reality and Internet reality, but we still were curious about how college students were learning in this Internet-addled age. The students on the panel  talked about collaboration, how they used social networking tools and how Internet changed the way they learned. It was fascinating; several talked about how it was changing the study of literature;  another talked about the awesomeness of getting help from someone thousands of miles away.

    During the talk one student mentioned how useful the Internet was in giving them suggestions about books to read and references to consult, I called out rather indecorously, “How do each of you find new authors to read?”

    The students, slightly annoyed at my interruption, but willing to answer, said, “I just google it.” The other three students chimed in with the same answer,  “Just google it” —  and then they continued their prepared remarks.

    10 minutes later was question time, and I jumped up to the front of the line to ask a follow up.  “You said that google helps you to find out about new authors or musicians or artists. Can you explain?”

    All four of them looked at me as though I were a crank. “Well, it’s not too hard really. Just go to the search box and type something. Then follow the links.”

    “Excuse me, but what exactly do you type in the search box?”

    “The name of the author.”

    “And how do you know what name to type?”

    The panelists shrugged. “Just follow any web page.””

    I understand that the Internet can help you locate more information about a topic, but only when you know what you want. But how do you know what you want?

    Being adept at devising a search term   (such as “best American author” or “recommend a 20th century novel” + American) will  get you only so far.  But lately I’ve noticed that even google’s sturdy algorithm is being weakened by dictionary sites, spam sites and commercial interests. When every company is trying to optimize for search results, then it is possible to programmatically manipulate the results. Some kinds of inquiries don’t yield anything meaningful; it’s not always easy to think of a unique combination of words and phrases to get the results you need. With facebook, stackexchange, quora  and other social media, you can receive lots of tips; but then again, people are responding to your questions; you are not finding these things out on your own, but relying on a certain number of people hanging out at these places who would be willing to provide some scaffolding for the edifice of your education.

    Perhaps it’s an obvious point, but the  topics which occupy most people’s attention are not necessarily the most helpful. Several of my conservative friends link to superficially optimistic articles about climate change, but who would seriously think that the URL most likely to appear on top of search results  (presumably from search-optimized CNN or NYT) would  also be the most authoritative  or accurate?  Even if we discount outright propaganda, the things displayed  by search engines may be neither relevant or important. Remember: there are probably more websites about the Gilligan’s Island TV  series  than the movies of  Ingmar Bergman.

    It’s ironic that the things pressing for our attention at any given moment can also be the most transitory.  Let’s see, current events today  talk about the LAX shooting, the final day of the Virginia governor’s race, the abortion lawsuits, the new Hyundai, refinancing with lending tree, What does the fox say?, the Obamacare website, the new Netflix titles. All screaming for your attention today, and then 10 years from now will disappear.  Perhaps this is a loss for  us all, but  the lesson to be learned here is that the things which appear to us so urgent today can easily disappear without a trace.

    It’s commonly assumed that search engines are good at looking up names and titles and dates. But suppose I wanted to find the name of a novel whose title and author escaped me.  One of my favorite novels was Nicholson Baker’s “The Mezzanine.” But what if I forgot the name of the author and title and tried to google it using some keywords? I remember the novel used a lot of footnotes, wasn’t particularly long, was clever, had a scene about drying one’s hands in the bathroom, had another scene about shoelaces and had a long series of digressions and ruminations about mundane things. If I typed “novella  literary hand dryer clever mundane  digress American  bathroom shoelace ruminate footnotes” into google and bing and wolfram alpha, one might feel confident that someone somewhere has used many of these words to describe  Nicholson Baker’s  novel.  My search query may be overlong, but it contains lots of distinctive words; even if a single web page is unlikely to contain ALL of these words, a good search engine should be able to compute the web page which is likely to be most relevant to these words.

    So here’s the search results for that query.

    search-google-mezannine
    bing-mezannine

    Bing results are similar;

    I don’t expect Google or Bing to get it exactly right, but we’re not even coming close. The search engines just provide awful and misleading results (and I’m not even including the ads).  Although shortening the list of keywords does  bring more interesting results, it is still nowhere close to the answer.

    I will admit that my search term isn’t exactly the best. To vary my approach a bit, I chose a more generic search term  Best American novel in the 1980s, and received decent relevance in results (although not THAT good).

    recommend-good-novella80s

    When I recited those  same keywords for the Nicholson Baker book over the phone  to a literary friend,  he  correctly guessed the author (though not the book itself). If you were in a classroom with 20 well-read people, I suspect you would get better answers. If you asked on a site like Goodreads to name the book where a lot of people would see it, I suspect you’d get  the right answer. This question seems esoteric, but for a moderately erudite  audience, it is not esoteric at all.

    409px-Richard_Dawson_Family_Feud_1976

    But search engines are not particularly good at these fuzzy  kinds of questions. Even in cases where a search engine can match a fuzzy question with an answer, the ordering and prominence is determined by how well the site was optimized for search engines — and also whether the company paid for ad placement.  If anything, Google can find pages where the wording of your question appears prominently — like a forum or a stack exchange site. But if the way you phrase the question doesn’t parrot the way other people do, you are out of luck. In other words, in 2014 the ability to get useful search results depends mainly on how good a Family Feud contestant you are.

    We used to believe Google was so amazing because 1)back then there were significantly fewer web pages and  2)Google presented lots of results. Do you remember when you could set Google to display 100 results on a single page? Even if Google didn’t bring the answer to your query, it nonetheless provided up to 100 different paths you could explore to find it.  Perhaps at one time those Ivy league students on the panel could pick a random link in search results  and follow things. But whenever I start from a search result, I have this uneasy feeling that it’s all one huge conspiracy to trap you inside a gigantic and self-contained  network of advertising and promotion. On mobile devices it’s even worse — it becomes harder to tell the difference between ads and organic search results. Human laziness will make you choose whatever pops up in the first three results, no matter how commercial it seems.

    Comparatively speaking, searching for proper nouns is  easier than searching for concepts or abstract phrases.  (That is why I end up going to wikipedia more times than not… I want to find some neutral site that doesn’t have a secret agenda to destroy someone’s reputation or laud him as a captain of the industry.  But wikipedia waters down everything.  It almost seems proud of the fact that nothing on the site is original or insightful).

    I remember once  talking to a translator in Albania. We had a delightful conversation, but he playfully scolded me for simplifying my language when talking to him.  “Why is that bad?” I asked him. “Isn’t accurate communication the goal of teaching?”

    “Not really,” he replied.  “The thing which most interests the translator are those  hard-to-translate or untranslatable expressions. These “untranslatables” are the most valuable part of the language and  often the key to the cultural peculiarities of the people who speak it.”

    I’m not sure I agree. But surely whatever is  hard-to-express inside a language  has value .. and certainly those linguistic qualities which make a web page easy for a search engine to parse also make it less interesting.  It’s clear to me that search engines fail to provide relevant results fairly often — for various commercial and linguistic reasons. Perhaps human vanity fools us into thinking that our experiences are unique — rather than the more likely fact that Google isn’t providing  an accurate picture of the world’s experiences and thoughts. Instead of expressing wonder at the ability of Google to turn up interesting results, we should be lamenting the fact that Google continues to lead us down well-known paths of stupidity.

    Notes

    I am less excited by the fact that search engines have given special prominence to Wikipedia because of its commitment to the  “neutral point of view.” (NPOV) Enshrining the NPOV means that wikipedia page will exclude a lot of  analyses and points of view; it shudders towards the obvious and noncontroversial. Even if that is better than commercial search engines, I can’t help but wonder if Wikipedia just helps to flee from one watered down path to another.

    2022 Update. I am happy to report that my original search query about accidentally stepping out of the shower with soapy hair produces more meaningful results. 8 year later, search results produce What seems to have changed is that search results are dominated by major media sites, with little to no articles on indie sites.

    2025 Update. Wow, a lot has changed since 2022. I asked Copilot AI and Perplexity the following question:

    Guess the title and author of an English-language novel with these clues: 1)It was published between 1985-1995, 2)it contains a scene where the character is drying his hands in the bathroom with an electric hand dryer, 3)it is humorous and contains many footnotes, and 4)All the action of the novel takes place during a very small time frame (30 minutes or less).

    The answers were shockingly on point: Copilot said in the first line, “It’s almost certainly The Mezzanine by Nicholson Baker” and then explains how it satisfies the four conditions. Perplexity hemmed and hawwed and guessed If On a Winter’s Day a Traveler, then, it realized that the date was wrong and suggested that it “appears” to be describing The Mezzanine. This is great news — but I have to wonder how commercialism will intrude on AI answers in the future.

     

  • Interview with Michael Barrett (Writer and Movie Critic)

    Michael Barrett is a San Antonio writer and critic who has been publishing essays  about cinema and TV for more than 20 years. (His reviews are listed on Rotten Tomatoes ). His screenplay for an animation feature is currently  going through image“development heck.” Other projects include writing children’s fiction actually intended for adults   and appearing in a still-unreleased comic video about the life of John Ruskin.  In addition to currently writing articles and reviews for the San Antonio Express-News, Video Watchdog magazine, and  PopMatters, he keeps busy selling old books on Amazon. I’ve known Mike since college where we collaborated on a literary magazine  and  I ran the film projectors for an international films series  Barrett  headed. Barrett’s forte is  writing longer analytical essays about obscure cinematic genres under the guide of DVD reviews.  In one of his more notable essays, You are Living in the Golden Age of Cinema, Barrett asserts  that he doesn’t believe in the myth of declining quality of cinema (when compared to “golden ages” like the 1970s.)  “The new problem is getting … noticed amid all this overwhelming superfluity of access, but I submit that this is a much happier problem than not finding a distributor—of which there are a surprising number during this so-called decline, and an increasing number of festivals and labels and channels hungry for product.” (A brief annotated list of his cinema essays is at the end—Also, every text link included in this interview takes you to the relevant Barrett  essays). Finally, even though this hyperlink is not active, I’ve been reproducing MB’s private end-of-the-year book & movie recommendations which he circulates to friends. The URL is here:  https://www.personvillepress.com/11378h/private8/mike-list.txt  (I add the latest recommendations every year to that URL). The interview took place in February 2012.

    January 2022 Update: About 1/2 the hyperlinks in the article are broken. Have no fear. The articles are all there, but Popmatters changed all the URLs, so I’m in the process of updating them — by going to waybackmachine.org to find the title and then googling that).

    Personal Observations

    You once mentioned to me that every film inevitably has a mirror scene, something which I’ve noticed ever since you pointed out. Are there any other secrets or rules of thumbs to cinema which you’d like to share?

    Yes, and the mirror scene is often the very first or last scene. I’ve just watched Fassbinder’s German sci-fi TV movie World on a Wire, which we can safely say has a mirror in every scene!

    imageI have facetiously complained that all foreign movies have a scene where somebody urinates; this goes all the way back to Bicycle Thief. Maybe it’s not all foreign movies, but more than fifty percent, and now it’s spread to American cinema.

    My personal rules of thumb have been to watch anything silent and anything Japanese (so Japanese silents must be the apotheosis!), and I pretty much think anything from Eastern Europe is worth watching, and most items from Iran and Africa. Eastern European movies are very “film school”, while films from “emerging” countries have a directness bordering on audacity, which has nothing to do with lack of sophistication and perhaps something to do with oral traditions.

    (more…)
  • Breakfast: An Autobiography

    Note: I have no idea whether other people might find this essay interesting. Writers tend to find everything interesting, and everyone tends to find  himself  interesting (much to the dismay and/or boredom of others). But I had fun writing it because it opened up a lot of overlooked memories (both olfactory and non-olfactory).

    Breakfast: An Autobiography

    I am typing this on the bus at 7:30 AM — thinking about breakfast. It’s one of those  banal and obvious topics which few people get around to writing about.1 Meals are specific to a time and place; when we read a book or journal, we assume that the normal daily routines of the people we read about are similar to  our own:  dressing, sleeping, going to the bathroom, eating, washing up, going to work, etc.  But that is a mistake.  Whenever I travel or visit someone’s house  (even if it is only to my sister’s house 200 miles away), I am struck by the differences.  That is why I think it’s valuable to describe my own daily breakfast routines.  They  aren’t  terribly original or interesting –  just different. But the exercise reminds us about how different each of our lives are – down to the smallest detail.  We share a common reality, but not a common way of  experiencing the daily rhythms of life.  Even for breakfast.

    Growing Up – Student Years

    frostedminiwheats_cereal

    While growing up, I had almost no memory about eating breakfast. Maybe I ate cereal at my mother’s insistence, but generally I did without it. The cereals I chose were sickeningly sweet. Either I chose Life cereal or Frosted Mini-Wheats;  later I switched to Spoon-Sized Shredded Wheat, but this cereal literally had no taste, and I learned only later that the processed high-carbohydrate cereals all have the same number of calories anyway — so I might as well have sugared it up.  Later I learned that the alleged nutrients  on the cereal label came from additives and fortified milk. The cereal itself was just a bunch of sugary crap.

    I knew from an early age that fruits and vegetables were important, so I probably included a banana with breakfast – though it seemed more of an afterthought.  It was a way to convince oneself that one’s diet was healthy and balanced.

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